OrganiSed Chaos » Truth

Sooner or later, they just get it

anonymum — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 22:58:28 +0000

I’m sure most of you know the truth of what I’m about to say, but sometimes we all need a gentle reminder
Most people I know have children, including my own children.
As mine were growing up, there were times when I would look at them and wonder what planet they were from.
Some days I was convinced aliens had been during the night and replaced the sweet, loving people I knew existed, with the now strangely behaved, selfish, self absorbed creatures who greeted me at the breakfast table.
Creatures who seemingly had no idea how to speak the English language in any semblance of a civil tone, no tolerance for anyone or anything other than their friends and the mirror they spent 95% of their time peering into, and who could wither a full grown adult with a look that said so much more than any words in the dictionary.
I’m sure every person alive who has children can relate to the above??
There were times when I could cheerfully have given them away with a years food simply for the peace that was sure to ensue once they were gone.
We had days when noone understood them, because of course noone had been through what they were going through.
All adults had apparently made a huge quantam leap from being 10, bypassed our teens and magically emerged in our mid 20′s, thus clean missing all the trials and tribulations of being a teenager with it’s associated agonies that were {of course} being visited upon them, and only them.
Oh yes, we had our days, make no mistake.
I’m sure there were days when I was decidedly difficult to get along with as well {I say this before I have some daughters creating merry hell in my comments BTW!! }
Having said that, I’m sure now, as both adults and parents, they would realise there were underlying factors they were totally unaware of in the form of problems at work, financial worries and the constant pressure of trying to perform the juggling act that is part and parcel of being a working parent.
As I look back on those delightful times, one fact stands head and shoulders above all else.
The one thing that makes all else fade into insignificance.
The day comes when they just get it.
There is no way I can tell you when this will happen, but happen it does, that I can guarantee.
So, for those of you currently going through what could be considered a hard time with your children, regardless of their age, hang in there.
Sooner or later, a butterfly will merge from the chrysalis.
You will wake up one day and be in total awe of the amazing people your children have grown into.
They will be considerate, caring, selfless, thoughtful and you will gaze upon them with awe.
Your smile will become wider with each day that passes, and then the day will come when you know that regardless of any mistakes you made, no matter how bad things got, or how many arguments you had with them, these people are going to be the legacy you leave behind when you depart this mortal life.
They are your greatest accomplishment, without a doubt, and whilst they may give you grief for reasons known only to their teenage/early adult lives, it’s worth every bit of it.
Trust me, because I speak from first hand experience here.
Every time I look at any of my daughters, I am in 100% awe of the adults they have become and I’m enormously proud of the way they’ve handled whatever life has thrown at them.
The manner in which they have stepped up and the strength they have displayed whilst doing it.
Not only that, I love each and every one of them more than they will ever know.
The road has not been easy at times, but the rewards more than outweigh the alien phase I spoke of earlier.
My pride in these women of mine knows no bounds.
Has it been worth it?
Oh yes! It’s been more than worth it.

Someone should have warned me

anonymum — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 20:48:57 +0000

Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
You go along, day after day, doing the best you can and making the most of what you have.
I have no desire to know the future be it good, bad or otherwise, but there are a few little snippets I would have been happy to know about, before they happened.
So I could have been prepared, if you know what I mean?
Here are a few of them.
Grey pubic hairs!
FFS, the cultural shock of finding one is an experience I would have been more than happy to pass on!
After 45 no matter how hard you try not to, you are going to put on weight.
Ok, it may not be a lot, but it’s still there!
Begone you foul beast!!! If you keep this up, my arse will need a post code all of it’s own!!
Your tolerance level for arse hats, fuck wits and morons hits lower than rock bottom.
Whilst some see this as a good thing, there are others, like me, who already had a low tolerance level for the aforementioned species of people, so I’m a little concerned about the results should it go any lower!
Whilst controlling my bladder has never been an issue for me, it seems in the last few years it’s capacity has lessened.
What other explanation is there for the 2 trips to the loo throughout the night, even when I don’t drink anything in the 2 hours before I retire?
Getting out of a comfortable lounge chair becomes a challenge as big as scaling a freaking mountain.
It seems as if every bone in your body is protesting at the monumental request you’ve made, and it’s not letting you know about said protest in a non confrontational manner.
The need to have lists for everything from shopping to what you need to do on any particular day.
I’m dreading the night I feel the need to put a note next to my bed in order to be reminded I have to go to work in the morning.
Nightmare scenario that one is!!
These are merely a few of the things my late 40′s and early 50′s have bought quite unexpectedly.
There are many, many more, but I though it only polite to leave some for others who are brave enough to let us know their little unexpected surprises as they move towards being older.
Please note I said older, NOT old!
Your turn….

Weighty matters

anonymum — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:42:43 +0000

After being in America for 2 weeks, Mark and I both came back carrying a few extra kilos {read more than is good for us}
The food was so damned good, and plentiful, it was bloody hard to say no.
So we just said yes!!!
What can I say??
Anyhow, Mel and Steve started this diet, which is not dissimilar to the Atkins diet, but not as rigid.
As it’s working well for them, I told Mark about the basics and he was more than agreeable, which was quite surprising actually, because he’s never been big on anything I’ve suggested before.
I’ve always struggled to get him to agree on a diet because most of them are based on eating very little and have quite rigid guidelines.
Plus he loves his bread and beer, which has always been a stumbling block.
Trying to get him to give up these things would be like finding rocking horse shit.
Impossible!
I prefer to think of this as a life style change as opposed to a diet anyway.
Diet is one of those 4 lettered words that don’t sit well with me if the truth be known.
You hear the word diet and automatically think of lettuce leaves and carrots I find.
The one I refer to is based on few carbs, little sugar, and lots of protein.
Now, with the influx of low carb, low sugar boutique beers on the market these days, beer has turned out to not be the problem it has in the past.
Taste is not compromised as is generally the way with these things, so we’ve managed to find one that follows the guidelines, and he normally has one with dinner of a night.
He’s happy with that.
We get one day off a week when we can eat or drink anything we want to, however that means nothing but protein the next day.
Meat, bacon, eggs, chicken, fish, whatever, so long as it’s protein.
Limited portions yes, but more than enough to keep us satisfied.
Even if we have a little more than we should, it doesn’t hurt because it’s protein.
A normal day consists of protein portions and snacks, plus unlimited salad and vegies.
Given you need to have 2 protein snacks a day, some days it seems like all you do is eat.
Breakfast was my biggest worry.
I just don’t do the food thing until I’ve been up for at least 2 hours, so that was quite the challenge for me.
Now that I’m used it though, it’s no chore at all, and I quite enjoy it.
The delicatessen people see me coming and draw straws to determine who is going to serve me however.
Whoever gets the short one cops me and my requests.
You see, I have all cold meat portions done at that point to save me having to do them at home!
Given I need, some weeks, 10 servings for lunches, by the time I leave, they’re ready to throw a party!
Tuna, salmon and crab meat have become firm friends, as have steak, fresh fish and chicken.
I’m amazed at the ways vegies can be mixed and matched, and zucchini, capsicum, onion, tomatoes, garlic and chili are things that go so well together, I could eat them every night.
Salads also are unlimited, and we love salad as well, so it’s all good.
We even get to have a piece of bread in the morning, or a piece of fruit, pus our protein of course.
Mark is doing well because he can still have the odd beer, knows he can have bread, plus lots of meat.
Being a butchers son, he was bought up eating lots of meat, so he’s loving it!
In fact his determination has surprised even me, and last week he cleaned out the fridge and freezer of all the “naughty” things because he is so determined.
The results thus far?
Mark approx 8 kgs {18 lbs before you head to the conversion chart}
Me, around 5.5 kgs {12lbs}
Well worth the time and effort let me say.
Hope your weekend is treating you well, and don’t be forgetting Malarky Monday tomorrow.
I have one of Youtubes latest sensations for you, and it’s a blinder!

{Trying to} Ignore the madness

anonymum — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 23:25:28 +0000

It’s only the middle of November, and already the madness has begun.
Starts happening earlier every year, I know, but hey, when there’s a buck to be made, money grubbing retailers have no scruples, we all know that.
Ads are rife already.
They tell us what children need under the tree, and let me add, it was decided many months ago, what is in for Christmas this year.
Ordinarily, what’s in has a price tag that could feed a 3rd world country for 6 months.
Apparently kids have got to receive it under the tree, or their lives will be forever ruined and in post Christmas months, parents will be forking out for therapy bills the size of a national debt, because the children will feel ~~depraved~~ deprived.
Amidst the madness, why we actually have Christmas is lost, that’s the sad part.
I’m not an overly religious person, but the meaning behind Christmas is certainly not lost on me, not by anyone’s standards.
This year we’re going to Victoria.
We’ll spend 5 days with family we don’t see nearly enough of, we’ll eat, drink and be merry, but before we go I have things to do, and buy.
Yes, we’ll leave presents behind for those we’re not spending the holidays with, but there are other presents to buy as well.
For many, many years, I’ve bought gifts for people less fortunate than us, and I put them under the Wishing Tree, and in fact, until about 3 years ago, Mark didn’t even know I do it.
As our family has been blessed, and grown with grandchildren, the amount of gifts I put under the tree has also grown.
For every grandchild we have, I put a present under the tree.
This year there are 8 presents to be bought and wrapped.
Our grandchildren are lucky to have been born into a close knit {albeit somewhat disfunctional} family, and are surrounded by people who love and cherish them, but many are not so lucky as we all know.
Before we board our plane on December 23rd, I will have purchased the following gifts.
2 for 9 year old girls
1 for a 7 year old boy
2 for 6 year old boys
1 for an almost 3 year old boy
1 for an almost 2 year old girl
1 for a baby boy, a year or less old
I have no idea of who they will go to, but I’ll buy them all the same.
These gifts will be nothing like what’s in this year, nor will they cost a squillion dollars, but I can tell you this.
They will go to children far less fortunate than our grandchildren.
Children who don’t have the advantages every child should have.
Children who were born without the choices I know our grandchildren will have as they grow, and born to parents who are either unable, or unwilling, to do what should be done for every child born.
To me, it’s things like we do every year that Christmas is about.
Thinking of those less fortunate, and making an effort to brighten their lives just a little.
Whilst I detest the commercialisation of Christmas, the thought of any child having nothing on the day, breaks my heart.
Every child deserves at least one gift, even if it’s only a teddy bear.
I tell you this not to have people say “Good on you Maureen!!” but in the hope that they will remember what Christmas is about.
A celebration of life and family and a time to reflect on how lucky some {read Mark and I} are in comparison to many.
As uncharitable as it may be to say this, the retailers can go to hell and shove their what’s in this year gifts clean up their arse, because I want none of it.
I’m trying hard to ignore the madness and merely do what I’ve always done.
Enjoy our family and be bloody grateful for exactly how lucky we are with the family and friends we have, because it’s these people that make the day as good as it can get.
That’s what Christmas is about.
It’s got nothing to do with the garbage sprouted by slimey money grubbing retailers, nor has it got anything to do with how much you spend.
It’s about what you do, and appreciating what, and who, you have in your life, and being grateful for them.
I’m more blessed than I could ever have imagined I would be, and I appreciate it more than I can ever say.
I can but hope there are 8 kids who’s Christmas will be brightened just a little this year too.

It’s been hard work

anonymum — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:16:36 +0000

Some 8 years ago, we decided we needed a sea change.
At the time we had no idea of where we wanted to go, but had enough trust in fate to know somewhere would present itself when the time was right.
The only thing we knew for sure was it needed to be near the water because we both love it so much.
That was the only set criteria we had.
A year or so after the decision was made, we came to Townsville in order to spend Christmas with 2 of the girls and one grandchild.
After less than 24 hours of being here, we knew.
This is it.
This was where we wanted to be.
It wasn’t only the tropical weather {although that played a big part} it was the more laid back life style, the beaches, just the general feel of the the place.
We felt comfortable, the price of living was reasonable, plus there was a small part of family here, so that was a bonus.
If we’d found somewhere that had no family and felt as comfortable, we would have moved there though.
That family were here was just a bonus.
One of us had to stay behind and keep earning a living while the other went forth to the unknown in order to get a job and establish some sort of base for us, so Mark packed some clothes, hired a car and set off for Queensland.
He stayed with the aforementioned family and set about doing just that.
It took a while, but he got one.
7 months later, I threw my high paying job in, he flew down and collected me and enough stuff to give us a start.
What we bought with us fitted into a 7 x 5 trailer, and it was the bare basics.
We had no intention of spending what money we had on removalists, so we sold, gave away or left behind what we thought we could do without.
Some we put into storage, but not a lot.
It took me 8 months to get a job.
8 long months where we made do with 5 parts of bugger all money, car payments and rent to pay, and still had a need to eat, buy petrol and cigarettes, all the things that go into life.
Since I got that first job, I’ve had another 3 jobs, and I’m into my 4th.
Mark has had just as many, if not more, and finally…finally, we’re back where we started 7 years ago, just before we left Sydney.
We have good, secure, well paying jobs, and in fact Mark has just gotten a promotion and a decent pay rise, I’m a manager in a job I love, and life is on an even keel.
I can assure you, it has not been easy for the last 7 years.
It’s been bloody hard work.
We’ve had to borrow money from our family, and at times, from our children.
There have been times when we’ve come close to separating because of the stress, we’ve fought and argued, and we’ve almost ripped each other apart.
Yet, we persisted, because it’s just what we do.
It’s life, it’s marriage and it was a choice we made, with our eyes wide open.
We wanted to do it.
Would I recommend doing this to anyone else?
Hell yes.
There has been the odd moment when I wondered about our intelligence I have to say, but would I do it all again?
In a heart beat!!!

168 hours

anonymum — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 08:33:33 +0000

That’s the amount of time each of us has to live life in a full week.
Now, many would say that’s a lot, but for those of us who live in the real world, we all know, it’s nowhere near enough.
There are some people who are, seemingly, of the opinion they’re entitled to a chunk of my 168 hours, regardless of the circumstances in my life.
They don’t just want apparently, it seems they seriously consider they’re entitled.
This has been driven home in the last couple of weeks, not by things that have happened, more it’s those that haven’t, and things unsaid.
Silence is sometimes much louder than words, I’m sure you would all agree.
This post is to assure everyone other than my husband, family and employer, that you are absolutely not entitled to one more thing than I have time to give, or indeed, I’m inclined to give.
My employer pays me to work.
That’s an entitlement.
My husband and family, purely because they’re my husband and family, have an absolute 150% entitlement to me at any time of the day or night, even above and beyond my employer should push come to shove.
My landlord has an entitlement to have their house {our home} neat and tidy, right down to the lawns, which of course falls to Mark and I.
Noone else, and I mean noone, is entitled to any part of me and mine, regardless of their thoughts, expectations, or even their desires.
One of my favourite expressions is to have an expectation invites a disappointment.
I’m a person who will do anything for anyone, and never ask for a thing in return, and I’m damned proud of it.
However, when it becomes an expectation, and there is no give and take, I’m not doing it.
Not any more.
Deal with it, don’t deal with, either way I really don’t care, but know this.
I’m done with trying to keep all of the people happy all of the time, no matter the cost to me and mine.
After work, husband, family, and I’m done with shopping, banking, eating, sleeping, getting to where I need to go and back, doing housework, and even peeing, then I’ll fit in everything and everyone else, and not before.
If you’re sitting here reading this and have a clear conscience, good!
I’m pleased, and you know I’ll get to you when I can yes?
If you’re reading this and squirming, thinking it relates to any one person, or any one thing, then you need to take heed of the paragraph a little above this one.
First word of that paragraph is “noone”
I will do as I need, and indeed, please, with my 168 hours, so you’d best be getting used to it.

My next post will return to the amazing adventures of Morky and Marky, and, as promised, the Evyl one will make his entrance.
I simply needed to say a few things, and feel much better for having done just that.

Have you ever

anonymum — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:45:08 +0000

Been arrested?
God yes!
Regretted something you did?
No, I don’t do regrets
Been kissed so perfectly, you never wanted it to end?
Regularly
Laughed till you cried {literally}
More times than I can count
Seen death
Sadly, yes, and more than once
Played spin the bottle?
Yes *giggle*
Seen your life pass in front of your eyes
Again, yes, and again, more than once
Wondered how the hell you survived to the age you are?
F.U.C.K Y.E.S
Done drugs?
Yes
Offered your life for the sake of someone else’s?
Yes
Walked on a beach in the moonlight, alone?
Yes
Wished for more than you had?
Rarely
Prayed to die?
Yes
Been glad your prayer wasn’t answered?
Hell yes!
Wished on a falling star?
Yes
Been to the depths of despair?
Yes
Lit a candle for someone hoping it would help them?
Yes
Danced in the moonlight
Yes
Slept with someone the first time you went out with them?
Yes. I married him {but which one is the real question? *snigger*}
Felt pure unaduterated love?
I’m a mother…nuff said
Shaved your head?
No, but it’s not for the lack of desire!
Skinny dipped?
Well duh!!!
Been in such a blissful state you smiled for days?
Yes
Lost total faith in everything and everyone?
Yes
These are but some of the questions I’ve been asked in my 52 years, and many of them by total strangers.
This post came about from a conversation with someone at work today.
Feel free to either answer these yourself, or even pose some others.
I know most of you, so it won’t be nearly as intrusive as being asked by strangers I can assure you.

Influence

anonymum — Mon, 04 May 2009 12:27:38 +0000

Many things influence our lives, be it people or experience.
My mother, albeit I only had her for 13 short years, had a huge influence on me.
I can still hear her saying “Because people are a different colour, doesn’t make them any less than people” or “Just because they think differently to you, doesn’t lessen the meaning of their words”
To this day I am not racist, nor do I think people of a different colour/race/creed are any less than I am.
She instilled in me the thought that a job is a job.
It doesn’t matter what you can do, it matters more what you actually do which counts.
I still believe this wholeheartedly.
My grandfather was the same.
“Maureen, you can be anything you want, if only you want it badly enough and have enough determination to make it happen”
He was right you know.
I’ve discovered I can make anything happen, if I try hard enough.
I’ve proved it time and again.
Then there are the people that influence the way you think today.
I currently have people in my life who have an enormous impact on the way I think, or in what way I think about certain things, or people.
People who can soothe, calm and ensure I see something from a different perespective on how I see something, or someone.
They present an alternative that may not occur to me initially if my hot temper has taken control of my reasoning {not an unusual happening when you have a temper like I do}
These are people that understand me almost beyond my comprehension.
Understand me almost more than I understand myself, who comprehend that now and again I don’t think clearly and/or with logic.
Who see me as I am, as opposed to the person I present.
And let’s be honest, 99.9% of the time, there is an enormous difference between the person we present publicly, and the person that is.
The people I speak of have a way about them that ensures you look deep inside yourself, and see things you would otherwise miss should you not speak to them about the things that count.
Am I the only one who has people such as this in their life?
People who make you think much of what, on the surface, seem like nothing.
Surely not?
Who had, or has, an influence on your life and why?
Can you seriously explain it?
Damned if I can.
Which is not to say that I don’t want these people in my life, don’t get me wrong.
These people are good for me in ways I didn’t even know I needed before they entered my life.
That has got to be a good thing, yes?

Speed humps

anonymum — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 13:48:39 +0000

Life is not unlike a highway.
You get up to speed and cruise along, pretty much unimpeded. Now and then you have need to change lanes, but otherwise it’s pretty smooth sailing, so long as you stay alert and don’t do anything too rash.
Speeding is acceptable, so long as you don’t get caught BTW.

As with most things relating to the law, it’s only illegal if/when you get caught hey???
What was my point?
Oh yes! Sorry!!
You need to understand, I have 2 speeds.
Stop and go.
Plus, I can be somewhat effusive at times.
Truth be known, too much now and then.
It’s the way I’m built.
I’m passionate, enthusiatic and more than willing to meet life headlong at the same speed I attack everything.
At one hell of a pace.
For those who don’t know me, it can be a little off putting I’m told.
In fact, imtimidating is the word one of my daughters used one time.
I’ve never seen it myself, but then that’s me.
I have however seen the way people react sometimes.
Picture someone going backwards rapidly.
That’s pretty much the best way to describe it.
Now, when something is troubling me, I keep it to myself, and rarely share it.
In fact, most of the time people would never pick it.
I share my problems with very few people, and I’m quite particular about who those people are.
It takes a special person who can accept me at my lowest point, because when I hit a low, it’s at the opposite level of what my highs are.
It’s rock bottom.
Thus my reasons for not sharing my troubles when I have them.
I know I’m not easy to cope with, so I bury it deep, and 99.999999% of people really have NFI, and are nomally stunned to find there is is fact anything wrong.
So how do I hit these lows?
Well, this is where the highway analogy comes in.
There I am, cruising along at 120kph {around 65 for those not versed in metrics} and bang, crash, thump!
Fucking speed hump, slap bang in the middle of the highway!!!
Every single fucking time I think I have it down pat, that’s when I’ll hit it.
When I least expect it.
And you can guarantee the fall is spectacular!
It’s not possible to live life at the pace I do and NOT hit the ground with a thud.
Trust me on that one.
Do I see them coming?
NO!
Do I learn from previous hits?
NO!
Does it ever occur to me that maybe I need to keep an eye out just in case?
NO!
Am I sick to death of having my run down the road slowed?
Absofuckinglutely I am!
Will I ever learn to slow down?
Probably not.
I need a fucking holiday…badly!
Does it show?
I’m thinking it does.
If anyone knows where I can find an uninhabited island surrounded with man eating sharks I can feed intruders to, shoot me an email will you?

Senticous

anonymum — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 12:27:40 +0000

My second adopted word.

Senticous
adj:
Prickly, thorny

My new staff have decided my general demeanour is senticous {dead truth…}

Perhaps if they did their job as they’re paid to do, and shoved their pathetic, holier than thou attitude up their puckered little arseholes, they would find my general demeanour a little more sunny.

I actually used this word today when reading the riot act to one of them who thought perhaps having been there 10 years, gave her the right to tell me how to do my job. About which she knows little by the way.
{picture me rolling my eyes here}

Are you surpised to discover they had NFI what I was talking about??

I’m not.

They need to read more.