Froot loops who travel on any form of public transport.
Those who eye you off from a distance with a decided look of distrust for around 30 seconds,then…….BAM!
They’re sitting beside you sprouting forth garbage which would make no sense to anyone, in a low, guttural tone designed to make every hair on your body stand up, and will have you checking the bed for a horses head before you get in at night.

Those who have no friends {in Oz we refer to this type as a Neville Nobody}
These are the people who smell like socks or jocks that have never been changed, or how I imagine a camels arse would smell {should I ever have any desire to get close to one that is!}
Wonder if it ever occurs to them this is why they have no friends??
I seriously doubt it.

God botherers.
Now, I’m not an overly religious person, but neither am I an atheist. Having said that, it amuses me no end how there are many who would accost you in the street to assure you the end is nigh, Jesus is on their left shoulder, and that if I don’t repent right now, my soul will be lost forever {I generally give them a heads up that sometimes the thought of eternal rest appeals to me, my soul was lost many years ago, and the devil on my right shoulder is gonna kick their Jesus’s arse!}
I don’t need to be lectured by some holier than thou twerp on my spiritual beliefs, but they seemingly think I need guidance

Even in supermarkets I seem to attract people who have no desire to do anything other than whinge about grocery prices, the lack of customer service, and have an apparent need to impart stories of days gone by where they could not only shop but enjoy it, and how their very last chook keeled over and now they have need to buy eggs for the first time in 20 years.

I’m not entirely sure why they think I could give 2 hoots or a rats arse, but I’ll tell you this.
As soon as I can get my hands on that damned neon sign, I’m going to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine on the next moron who decides my face is one that welcomes any drop kick, loser or mealy mouthed twerp I come across!

Today also marks 39 years since my Mother passed away, thus the bitter.
Many people found it odd that Mark and I chose to marry on this day given there are another 364 days we could have made us of.
There was reasoning behind what we did, and it was a conscious choice.
Every year on this day I give thanks for what I have, and say a small prayer for my Mum.
It also ensures she never leaves my thoughts, because every time I look at Mark I think of the wonderful day we married, which in turn make me think of her again.
One can never remember those we have lost too much.
They live on, inside us.
This way it’s a given that while I live, so does she.
I love you Mum, and 39 years down the track I still miss you every day

After 6 months, myself, Mark, ~m and Dilligaf have decided Malarky Monday will be no more.

Well, sort of.

Confused you say? Keep your hair on, I’m going to explain.

Instead of 4 posts, there will only be 1 is the bottom line.

Yes, you heard it here first.

Malarky Monday is about to be passed around like a bong at a baby boomers party, going from one to the other in a manner that would gladden the heart of any whore.

It will be no less hysterical, nor will it vanish into the sunset as an old and decrepit cowboy would, it’s merely going to be far less spread.

It will live!!!

This week ~m is up, so be sure to visit Smoke and Mirrors where I’m sure he’ll have you giggling, spitting and snortling.

Again, not unlike a whore!!

That’s me, I’m out of here to find some fodder for what could be termed a “real post” as hard as that may be to comprehend.

This requires little to be said about it.
Just read.
It’s a pisser!!

Some of it may be a little hard to see, but persist, because I promise, you will not be disappointed.

In light of Easter I thought would start with some wannabe bunnies!!

They’re cute aren’t they???

This one maybe not so cute, but shit it’s funny!!

This next one? Well, suffice to say the likeness is particularly uncanny don’t you think??
This is but one more reason I can’t stomach Rowan Atkinson.
Anyone who can look like so many different people and things has got to be downright bloody evil I’m thinking.
KILL THE BEAN!!!!!

Michael, I know you have the strength to get through today, safe in the knowledge that your father is at peace with your much loved Mother.
May the Lord hold them close for you…
With all my love to everyone
Moe

Next in line is a little joke for you to snicker over
A very ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face, and
orders a Draft beer.
‘What are you so happy about?’, asks the Bartender.
‘Well, I’ll tell you,’ replies the ugly man.
As you know, I live by the railroad tracks.
On my way home from the bar last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, just like in the films.
I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all Night, all over the house. We did everything! me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!’
‘Fantastic, you lucky bastard!’, exclaimed the Bartender.
‘Was she pretty?’
‘Dunno…Never found the head!’
Sick, I know, but hey, this is me after all!

Another visual, thank to the email I received for last weeks MM {thanks again WS, you’re a star hon! still think you should join us too BTW!!}
Just on this pic, there is another blogger who should get a giggle out of this given the habits of a duck known as Bubbles!! Bit of payback is always a good thing!

Finally this week, another visual for your snorting pleasure.
This also came in the aformentioned email from WS too, but I did already have it, so we can share the praise for this one WS.

Don’t forget to go visit my fellow mayhem makers either.
I know what they have this week, and there are some rip snorters!