OrganiSed Chaos

This week Malarky Monday is brought to you by the Christmas fairy.

He may not be a happy Christmas fairy, but he is a Christmas fairy all the same.
Also, we have a guest appearance for you to giggle over!
DILLIGAF has graciously agreed to join the mayhem that is MM, and has an absolute blinder for us!
I nearly bloody choked when I heard this, and it gives the 12 days of Christmas a whole new meaning, trust me!
Please be warned though.
This is strictly adult content.
Do NOT have your kids around when you play this video
As always we have the other contributors to MM in Mark, ~m, Grimm and {maybe} Muffy.
Onto my small contribution to the madness we all hope makes you at least smile, and if we’re extra lucky, we’ll hear a damned good belly laugh.
Given Christmas is almost upon us, I’ll stick with the seasonal snippets because there are just so many of them around.
Trying to pick the ones to post was my problem, and I can only hope you enjoy them.
To start with, the only word for this is awesome!
It’s bloody well done, so take the time to have a look.
{Thanks Pam!}

The obligatory funnies are next.

Someone made mention of their inner child recently.
Given the time of year, I thought it would be a good idea to explore the things our inner child could do during the festive season.
Who knows, you may find yourself actually enjoying the season rather than dreading it.
These are but a few of the activities which occurred to me.
Go look at the Christmas lights.
Not only is it free, but it will make the adult in you glad you don’t do it because you don’t have to pay the power bill.
Get a body board and head to the beach for some fun in the surf.
There is nothing makes you feel better than tumbling through the surf then screaming like a little kid when you get dumped.
Perchance you have snow, get a toboggan or sled and find the biggest hill you can, then throw caution to the wind and fly down it like the 7 devils are after you.
I’m sure you did it as a kid, why not now?
Eat the decorations off the tree when noone is looking, then deny, deny, deny!
It’s such fun.
The worst that can happen is you get busted and grounded, so then you don’t have to go to work. Bonus!
All the more time to work on those edible hangy thingies on the tree anyway!
String popcorn for the tree.
This was one of my favourite things to do when I was a kid.
Nothing has changed, I still love doing it.
Get a tin whistle then run up and down the street blowing it.
Go to the movies and spend the entire time giggling at the teenagers swapping spit in the back row.
Find a slide then go down it as many times as you can in the shortest possible time.
Play on a seesaw while you’re at it.
Go buy a yoyo and see if you can still walk the dog.
Preferably one of those crappy plastic ones you get in junk stockings.
Get a hula hoop and give it a go.
It will be a damned good cardio vascular work out at the same time!
Wander around the streets after the stores close and look at their displays.
Some of them are brilliant, and damned well done.
There are a million and one things you would do at Christmas when you were a kid, so why not now?
I guess my point is this.
Forget about the responsibility and hassles of Christmas and do what kids do best.
Embrace it, enjoy it and make the most of it.
Just for one day.
Try and see it through the eyes of a child.
Who knows, maybe it will hep you see things a little differently?
What did you used to do as a kid?

As Christmas approaches with startling speed, a thought occurs to me.
Time pursues us all.
It seems intent upon having it’s way with us, and generally does.
At not one point in our lives are we free of this relentless pursuit.
From when we’re babies and time dictates when we eat, sleep and play, it continues through our entire existence.
It seems as if I blinked since doing a post on Monday, and here it is Wednesday night, already.
2 days.
Gone.
Yes, I’ve achieved an enormous amount at work because it’s needed to be done, and that’s what I’m paid to do.
In the wake of that, what about the emails that remain unanswered, the posts done by others that I’ve been remiss in commenting on, unanswered text messages, the cooking I wanted to do, the swim I wanted to have?
None of the things that matter to me have been achieved because time is my enemy.
And an enemy it is.
It flies by, we get older by the minute, and life is moving at a pace that is quite bewildering.
None of us have the time we want to do the things we want because we’re so busy making a living, we seem short of the time required to have a life.
What’s to be gained by working so hard if the time it takes is responsible for the weariness that seems to permeate every single fibre of my being and makes it an effort to do anything else?
It takes me away from those I care most about, makes me short tempered and cranky.
My concern is time having the better of me and I won’t have achieved a half of what I want to this week, let alone in my life.
Some would say it’s bad time management as opposed to anything else, but I would beg to differ.
I’m bloody well organised.
I clean the shower before I get out of a morning, make lunches as I prepare breakfasts, do dishes as we use them, run a quick broom over the floor every morning to save time on weekends, plan ahead, yet still I feel as if I’m in the middle of en endless circle that makes me dizzier by the minute.
{Seemingly} yesterday we were planning a trip overseas, and yet daily we speak of the trip to come in less time than a human gestational period.
Time, time, time.
Everything we do is dictated by time, almost every sentence has that word in it.
Time.
It pursues us relentlessly.
It never ends does it?

I say this out loud, at the risk of being hung drawn and quartered, or maybe even tarred and feathered, in the town square of blogging.
Christmas is almost upon us.
It’s true!
2 months from this coming Sunday, it will be Christmas day.
We booked our flights to go down south for said event this weekend just gone, so I can assure you my Amex is well aware the silly season is approaching rapidly.
Being “peak” season, the flights are more expensive, of course, as is everything else from December 1 onwards.
What a crock of shit that is too!
It costs no more to fly a plane between here and Melbourne during Christmas, school holidays or any other holiday season, than it does in the middle of bloody May.
It’s pure profiteering.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Every year the madness starts earlier.
Since around 3 weeks ago, there are shops here in Townsville just full of decorations.
I shit you not.
In the same complex where I work, there is a variety shop directly opposite who’s front windows are nothing but Christmas things.
Santas, tinsel, elves, candy canes, gift boxes, you name it, they have it.
This madness started in the 3rd week of September.
September!!!!!!!??????
WTF is with that?
As I mentioned, this year we’re off to Victoria to spend it with family we haven’t seen for some time, including 5 grandchildren we don’t see nearly enough of, plus a few daughters to boot, so if I was honest, part of me is looking forward to it.
Another part of me is horrified at not only the retailers trying to convince us to buy already, but at the speed with which this year has hurtled by.
I’m damned if it seems anything like 10 months since the last silly season, and I’m sure many of you are the same.
Before anyone starts calling me a grinch, I’m not.
I love, love, love, everything about Christmas.
I’m just not a fan of the commercialised Christmas is all.
To me Christmas is about family, being grateful for what we have, and remembering why we have the celebration.
I’m determined to not let the profiteers get me down however.
I will enjoy my time with family, I will put presents under the Wishing Tree as I have for many years, and I will not allow the grinch to enter our house {did you hear that Burnie???}
Yes, the kiddies will receive gifts from us, yes we will participate in a secret Santa with the family, and yes, we will do our best to banish the grinch from around anyone silly enough to let the little green bastid into their house.
What we will not do is allow retailers to get up our noses, nor will I bow to the desire I have to put a brick through the window of the shop I spoke of earlier.
We will enjoy our time with family, remember why we’re together and make the most of the season, all without letting those intent on profit making, get us down.
I know you all think I’m nuts talking about the silly season when it’s not even the end of October, but at the rate the weeks are flying by, we’ll all be doing the rounds to say those 2 dreaded words before we know it.
You know the ones I mean??
**whispering**
Merry Christmas!

Can
.
.
.
hardly
.
.
.
type
.
.
.
nearly
.
.
.
unconscious
.
.
.
Christmas
.
.
.
decorations
.
.
.
in
.
.
.
local
.
.
.
shopping
.
.
.
centre
.
.
.
***faints clean away***

As I type, I am currently sitting on the back deck at Michael and Pamela’s place.
The sun is shining, the birds are singing and life is damned good let me tell you.
I have so much in my head it’s hard to process it all.
I will begin by saying we had the best week a person could ask for at Cape Cod. Some rain on one or two nights, but let me say, nothing brings people together more than sitting huddled under an umbrella to have a smoke.
Brings you close if nothing else!

Having said that, we had some brilliant nights around the fire pit too.
Many things were spoken of, much bourbon, beer and good Aussie rum were consumed, and friendships that will stand the test of time, were forged.
I guess the easiest thing to do at this point is try and summarise and highlight, just so you have some idea of why we’re all been so damned quiet and where we’ve been.
Firstly, the internet connection was slower than a fucking wet week, and we decided after spending hours trying to make it workable, that we would simply need to do without it.
Mobile service was, at best, intermittent.
Next time we come over {probably next year} I’ll be shopping around for a better provider I can assure you!
Brilliant food, just brilliant! Every word you hear about New England seafood is 100% accurate.
I am officially hooked on cheeseburgers and pink lemonade.
If I keep eating them the way I have been, I’ll need an extra seat for my fat arse to get home! I shit you not.
I can still feel the tears running down my face, and the pain in my stomach from laughing so much.
Snort and stamp is all I’m saying about that one!

Don’t ever let anyone tell you Americans are anything less than friendly, helpful and more courteous than you can ever imagine.
If you come across a loud, brash American as we sometimes do in Australia, please know they’re not all like that.
I say this from first hand experience. They are wonderful, wonderful people.
Fenway Park! Good God, what can I say to describe the feeling of standing outside the home of the Red Sox?
That’s just going to get better because tonight we go to a ball game!
Can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The people we’ve met.
That’s another subject I will struggle to verbalise.
These are people who are so damned real it’s just beyond comprehension.
Given the way we came together, it seriously defies any logic that comes to mind.
There will be much more about them at a later date, but for now, suffice to say they are people we could spend an inordinate amount of time with.
Geography will mean little, however that’s always been the case I think.
This trip simply reinforced that fact.
I had a feeling it would comfortable, and it was. Still is actually.
Christmas in July.
Another subject there will be more about, but know that for many reasons, it was a Christmas that will never be forgotten.
Not ever.
There was almost one disaster, however it was narrowly averted when the missing luggage was delivered by a courier on the Monday night.
Quite the experience let me say, and one I am NOT inclined to repeat at any time soon.
There was only one irreplaceable thing the airlines could have lost, and can you guess which one they lost?
No prizes for the correct answer there!
Waiting an hour and a half for luggage at LAX is not something I’m in any hurry to repeat either.
Having said that, the horror stories we heard about US customs did not come to pass, and it took us all of 25 seconds to clear them, so that more than made up for the luggage.
Handling the Evyl one’s smalls, having the same person drop their jeans to model said smalls, one liners flying thick and fast around the table, enormous amounts of bourbon, plus the table and deck of knowledge will all be the subjects of future posts, I promise.
Mannequins with the biggest tits I’ve ever seen, the disorientation of driving down the wrong side of the road, stores that seemed to have come from the last century, just so many things to say, and still clueless on where to start!
I will tell you I’m more relaxed than I ever thought I could be, and I’m not the slightest bit homesick.
There’s a statement that will scare the bejesus out of some daughters we know!
For now however, I need to be gone.
Much to do, even more to see, and only another 5 1/2 days to do it in, so I need to move my cheeseburger and pink lemonade enhanced arse.
There will be another couple of posts before we come home people, and before one person asks, yes, there will be pics!
Would we do this again?
Hells yeah!!