OrganiSed Chaos

Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
You go along, day after day, doing the best you can and making the most of what you have.
I have no desire to know the future be it good, bad or otherwise, but there are a few little snippets I would have been happy to know about, before they happened.
So I could have been prepared, if you know what I mean?
Here are a few of them.
Grey pubic hairs!
FFS, the cultural shock of finding one is an experience I would have been more than happy to pass on!
After 45 no matter how hard you try not to, you are going to put on weight.
Ok, it may not be a lot, but it’s still there!
Begone you foul beast!!! If you keep this up, my arse will need a post code all of it’s own!!
Your tolerance level for arse hats, fuck wits and morons hits lower than rock bottom.
Whilst some see this as a good thing, there are others, like me, who already had a low tolerance level for the aforementioned species of people, so I’m a little concerned about the results should it go any lower!
Whilst controlling my bladder has never been an issue for me, it seems in the last few years it’s capacity has lessened.
What other explanation is there for the 2 trips to the loo throughout the night, even when I don’t drink anything in the 2 hours before I retire?
Getting out of a comfortable lounge chair becomes a challenge as big as scaling a freaking mountain.
It seems as if every bone in your body is protesting at the monumental request you’ve made, and it’s not letting you know about said protest in a non confrontational manner.
The need to have lists for everything from shopping to what you need to do on any particular day.
I’m dreading the night I feel the need to put a note next to my bed in order to be reminded I have to go to work in the morning.
Nightmare scenario that one is!!
These are merely a few of the things my late 40’s and early 50’s have bought quite unexpectedly.
There are many, many more, but I though it only polite to leave some for others who are brave enough to let us know their little unexpected surprises as they move towards being older.
Please note I said older, NOT old!
Your turn….

Throughout the year, Kelly has done To do lists.
As each item on the list is completed, she goes back and crosses it off.
I’ve always thought it a great idea because it gives a person not only some purpose, but things to aspire to.
On New Years Day, Kel did another one.
You’ll find it here.
At the bottom of that post, there is a line that grabbed me.

Feel free to write your own list. If you do, please be sure to let me know. Who knows, if there are enough of us I may devote a page to it and get a webring/blogroll happening for it…

Sounded like a good idea to me, so I thought I’d give it a go and do my own list.
Like Kel, these are not resolutions because I don’t do them, so I’ll say “these are the things I want to achieve this year”
None of them are impossible or unrealistic, so there is no reason I can’t do them either.
{A couple of them are the same, but then we are mother and daughter so it’s not that surprising, and these are in no particular order}

Get another tattoo
Return to Boston {ok, this is a bit of a cheat cos we know we’re gonna do it, but it’s still part of what I want to do this year, so I’m including it anyway}
Learn more about code and how it works {so as to not annoy the crap out of Kelly}
Do more exercise and lose some more weight
Buy a new car. Not necessarily “new” but another one at least
Get back home {Victoria} at least once to see those I miss badly
Enrol in a TAFE cooking course
Buy a bigger fridge
Do some volunteer work

Certainly not lofty ambitions, nor are there a lot of them, but they’re more than enough of a challenge to keep me occupied throughout the year.
If you want to play along, feel free, and if you let Kelly know that would be a bonus.
For now, I’m off to check out what TAFE have on offer in the culinary skills department.

Someone made mention of their inner child recently.
Given the time of year, I thought it would be a good idea to explore the things our inner child could do during the festive season.
Who knows, you may find yourself actually enjoying the season rather than dreading it.
These are but a few of the activities which occurred to me.
Go look at the Christmas lights.
Not only is it free, but it will make the adult in you glad you don’t do it because you don’t have to pay the power bill.
Get a body board and head to the beach for some fun in the surf.
There is nothing makes you feel better than tumbling through the surf then screaming like a little kid when you get dumped.
Perchance you have snow, get a toboggan or sled and find the biggest hill you can, then throw caution to the wind and fly down it like the 7 devils are after you.
I’m sure you did it as a kid, why not now?
Eat the decorations off the tree when noone is looking, then deny, deny, deny!
It’s such fun.
The worst that can happen is you get busted and grounded, so then you don’t have to go to work. Bonus!
All the more time to work on those edible hangy thingies on the tree anyway!
String popcorn for the tree.
This was one of my favourite things to do when I was a kid.
Nothing has changed, I still love doing it.
Get a tin whistle then run up and down the street blowing it.
Go to the movies and spend the entire time giggling at the teenagers swapping spit in the back row.
Find a slide then go down it as many times as you can in the shortest possible time.
Play on a seesaw while you’re at it.
Go buy a yoyo and see if you can still walk the dog.
Preferably one of those crappy plastic ones you get in junk stockings.
Get a hula hoop and give it a go.
It will be a damned good cardio vascular work out at the same time!
Wander around the streets after the stores close and look at their displays.
Some of them are brilliant, and damned well done.
There are a million and one things you would do at Christmas when you were a kid, so why not now?
I guess my point is this.
Forget about the responsibility and hassles of Christmas and do what kids do best.
Embrace it, enjoy it and make the most of it.
Just for one day.
Try and see it through the eyes of a child.
Who knows, maybe it will hep you see things a little differently?
What did you used to do as a kid?

As Christmas approaches with startling speed, a thought occurs to me.
Time pursues us all.
It seems intent upon having it’s way with us, and generally does.
At not one point in our lives are we free of this relentless pursuit.
From when we’re babies and time dictates when we eat, sleep and play, it continues through our entire existence.
It seems as if I blinked since doing a post on Monday, and here it is Wednesday night, already.
2 days.
Gone.
Yes, I’ve achieved an enormous amount at work because it’s needed to be done, and that’s what I’m paid to do.
In the wake of that, what about the emails that remain unanswered, the posts done by others that I’ve been remiss in commenting on, unanswered text messages, the cooking I wanted to do, the swim I wanted to have?
None of the things that matter to me have been achieved because time is my enemy.
And an enemy it is.
It flies by, we get older by the minute, and life is moving at a pace that is quite bewildering.
None of us have the time we want to do the things we want because we’re so busy making a living, we seem short of the time required to have a life.
What’s to be gained by working so hard if the time it takes is responsible for the weariness that seems to permeate every single fibre of my being and makes it an effort to do anything else?
It takes me away from those I care most about, makes me short tempered and cranky.
My concern is time having the better of me and I won’t have achieved a half of what I want to this week, let alone in my life.
Some would say it’s bad time management as opposed to anything else, but I would beg to differ.
I’m bloody well organised.
I clean the shower before I get out of a morning, make lunches as I prepare breakfasts, do dishes as we use them, run a quick broom over the floor every morning to save time on weekends, plan ahead, yet still I feel as if I’m in the middle of en endless circle that makes me dizzier by the minute.
{Seemingly} yesterday we were planning a trip overseas, and yet daily we speak of the trip to come in less time than a human gestational period.
Time, time, time.
Everything we do is dictated by time, almost every sentence has that word in it.
Time.
It pursues us relentlessly.
It never ends does it?

There are times in everybody’s life, when life itself becomes too much.
The effort to get out of bed and face another day is a task bigger than Mt Everest.
Much is happening in our lives at the moment, and it’s neither good, nor rosy, and it’s not even comfortable.
Yet, in true human spirit, I persist, and continue to get out of bed, every single day.
Day.
After.
Day.
We do what we must in order to make something of our lives, just to survive, do we not?
I’ve had many hard knocks in my life, some worse than others obviously, but none of what I speak of were easy at the time.
Still, I survived.
It’s what we do.
Human nature, being what it is, ensures our survival instinct is the strongest of all, no matter how low our mood, or the events happening at any given point in time.
Our instinct to survive in the face of adversity or whatever troubles us, is so strong, it sustains us through any dark tunnel we find ourselves in, and more often than not, gives us a far better appreciation of the good times when we manage to find the sunshine.
In the absence of darkness, how does one see what the light has to offer?
The old adage of what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger is 150% accurate.
I’ve always needed to be strong, for many reasons and for many people, and ordinarily I bounce back quickly.
I just don’t stay down for long.
Not seriously anyway.
Resilience is a wonderful thing and stands me in good stead most of the time.
Having said that, the days when I need to make an effort are, seemingly, becoming more frequent.
Of late I find it difficult getting my head to a place where I can dismiss the crap as beatable {is that even a word??}
Maybe I’m getting old, or I’m simply tired of adversity and problems?
Perhaps I’m over having to be strong?
Most days it seems like 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
Yet, I persist.
It’s just what we do…..

Of late I’ve had some interesting situations at work, to say the least.
I’m a manager.
This, naturally, involves staff who report to me.
As it transpires, the staff in question have several “issues” with me.
These are many and varied, and some are the usual issues most of us have with their boss, but others have been quite bemusing.
One of the various grievances aired in recent days is the tone I use when I ask them to do something.
Please note I said ASK, not tell.
I don’t like being TOLD to do anything, thus I refuse to tell anyone else, so if I need something done, I ask.
Now, my interpretation of a manager is someone who does what needs to be done in order to do their job, picks up the slack should we have someone out sick or on leave, is first in, last out, and if needs be, delegates what would be considered smaller, less important tasks to others when pressed for time.
I’ve been working this way for well over 10 years, and until now it’s always worked, for myself and my staff.
How lucky am I, to now have people who are willing to point out where I’ve been going wrong???
It seems these are the errors of my ways.
I need to speak in a tone that is not short, demeaning, intimidating, nor am I to sound as if I’m becoming impatient should I need to ask for something to be done more than once before it happens.
Quote “We’ll get to it when we have time…”
Apparently I should use a more “gentle” tone.
Under no circumstances am I to take any notice of when they come and go from the office, how long they take for lunch, nor query what they do with their time.
Seems they know what their jobs and times are, and I should be content these things happen as a matter of course.
Having said that, what prompted this raft of grievances was me voicing my dissatisfaction over an incident where one of them stood in the store talking to a former staff member for 40 minutes, so you could forgive me for not taking any comfort in their assurances I have no need to take note of their times.
The best is yet to come however.
I was given a list, yes a list, of the things they think need to happen, in order to make the workplace a warm, fuzzy place.
This list included, but was not limited to, supplying morning tea once or twice a week, where they can down tools and take around 45 mins to an hour, so we could have a group session and air our problems.
I should give them a copy of my job description so as they have a better understanding of why there are times I need to work on weekends. Surely my job can’t be that difficult? {I need to add here, my job description runs to 28 pages!!! You could forgive me for saying it’s something of a complicated position. Please?}
I should let them know where I’m going, what I’m doing and when I’ll be back, should I ever have need to leave the office, because they need to know in case someone rings for me.
There were other little bits and pieces, mainly relating to me, basically, not managing them in any way, shape or form, because {apparently} they know exactly what they need to do, and feel they’ve been there long enough that they should be allowed that freedom.
I shit you not.
This has been my week, and people wonder why I drink?
Wonder no more my friends.
Wonder. no. fucking. more!