OrganiSed Chaos

Monday is upon us, once again.
{damn that “C” word is looming fast isn’t it??}
Yes, it’s time for us to try and make you chortle, snortle or maybe even pee in your widdle pantaloons.
My Malarky Mondays have been generating quite a lot of traffic, but few comments, so it seems people come, then they either laugh or cry and leave again without saying anything.
Go figure!
This week, my malarky is dedicated to stupid people.
100%, totally, hopelessly stupid!
Have a look and all will be revealed, very quickly.
They walk among us you know.
Stupid people I mean.
They have heads on them like bloody mice.
On the positive side, they are handy for a damned good laugh on a Monday, so I should be grateful I suppose!
Firstly, have a go at this dick!!
**shaking head**

Next, check out some more dicks!!!
Some of these are quite painful to watch I must say.
Funny, but painful!
You can just see what’s coming in most of them, however that merely adds to the fun I think!


My fellow malarkers in Mark, ~m and Muffy will have more, so don’t be shy, click the links and see what hilarity they offer this week {please be sure to leave them a comment, because, like most bloggers, they’re comment whores}
Have a great week, and a good laugh guys.

We’re all but done.
The burnmaster has done his bit here.
He was reasonably well behaved, for which I am eternally grateful I can tell you!
**phew**
I’ve added his bit to the rest of it, as I have with all the others on it’s very own page.

Our drama is almost done! MOST exciting!

Now to decide how to finish it off. I’m in 2 minds, but the decison will be made within 24 hours at the most, so wander bck tomorrow night to see whats going to happen.

On another note, I’ve managed to catch up my comments at your blogs {at last..YAY!!} Only a couple of days later than I would have liked, but it’s done all the same.

I hope life is treating you well, and is full of sunhsine and smiles

While we wait for the Burnmaster to concoct his twisted little part of our momumental saga, I thought it best to not let the cobwebs gather here at the Nook, so I’ve been thinking {yes, I DO know how dangerous that can be!!}
I started blogging when I was 49. It was October 2006 when I did my very first post, however it was not my first experience with this strange thing we all do.
I had been vicariously blogging by posting in comments for some time. Apparently.
At that point I had no idea I even wanted to blog, however others did.
Those more knowledgable, seasoned and experienced saw it coming a mile away.
Everybody {except me} knew the time was near.
Again, Apparently.
Yes, there is a point coming.
Stay with me here.
I don’t collect things, nor do I have a particular interest in any one thing, thus I don’t have a hobby as such.
My interests are many and varied, but none have endured if that makes sense?
I know I read many, many books, but reading is not so much a hobby as a passtime in my mind.
Never have I been able to fully comprehend what it is about blogging that appeals to me, and believe me, I’ve thought much about this particular subject.
My ultimate decision is probably light years away, but the in the interim, I’ve been considering other points in regard to blogging.
How long will I blog?
Until they pry the laptop from my cold dead fingers is that answer to that one.
Will I ever stop?
Hell no!
I have no intention of ever stopping totally.
There have been a few stop/starts, yes, but I’m quite resigned to the fact that blogging is in my blood.
It’s managed to worm it’s way deep inside me, in a manner that nothing else ever has in the way of hobbies.
These thoughts bring me to the question of bloggers ages.
We all appreciate there are millions of people who blog, most of the time we don’t know their age do we?
Age seems to be a subject many shy away from for some unknown reason, not only in real life, but in their blogging life as well.
Not me.
I’m 52, and in addition to that, I’m loud and proud of it.
I really don’t give a rats arse if people know how old I am.
Many things I’m anal about, but my age is not one of them. Hard to tell huh???
I know there are many in my blogging circle who openly admit to their years, although some don’t, which doesn’t worry me BTW.
I think the oldest age I’ve seen mentioned on a blog owners About Me page, is 66.
That leads me to ask, at what age do you think you’ll stop blogging? {that was my point in case you were wondering!}
Assuming you ever do stop of course.
Can you see yourself at 82, in front of the laptop holding forth about the perils of traversing traffic lights and supermarkets, whether or not incontinence is now dictating when you do and don’t laugh, how the young people of the day have no respect for their elders {you!} how the world has gone to hell on a bus, and forever saying those words that we all dread “In MY day….”
Hell, I can see myself doing all of the above and more!
I’m pretty sure the last thing I’ll do before I leave for my funeral is a post about how I want the hearse driver to get me there. <—- preferably the same way I do everything else…at 100mph!

Come on…’fess up?
Do you have any idea how long you’ll keep doing this odd thing we all do, or have you not even considered it?

Given it’s Easter and my mind turns to things like resurrection and what {if anything} happens after death, I thought I’d give this a go.
Why does it NOT surprise me to see the word lustful in relation to my result???
:grin:
Mind you, I am somewhat disappointed that I’m only going to the 2nd level, cos I think all the fun stuff will be on the lower levels.
Righto…on your way!
Let’s see who I’m going to be sitting next to on the bus, because I can just about guarantee I’m not going on my own.
Always remember people.
Good girls and boys might go to heaven, but bad ones go everywhere!!

The Dante’s Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Take the Dante’s Inferno Hell Test

My stats I mean.
Not that I’m surprised. I’ve been more scarce than an honest politician around the traps.
It would seem not even my awards could tempt people to visit.
So, I have a Plan!!!
A small while ago, I did a post with 2 words that generated more traffic than just about anything ever has.
Nipples and orgasm.
That realisation is what led to my Plan.
I’m going to list some “interesting” words and see what happens!!!
Let’s see how many “interesting” words I can list {omitting that “C” word which I detest}
Nipples
Orgasm
Clit
Fuck
Anal
Vagina
Twat
Pussy
Fanny
Dick
Cock
Schlong
Nuts
Scallops
Goolies
Balls
Transvestite
Sex
Prostitute
Screwing
Rooting
Tits
Knockers
Hooters
Breasts
Mole
Slut
Hussey
Whore

Ok, there’s a few to be going on with.
And just in case you’re in any doubt about what would be the ultimate computer accessory for the one you love, try this

Now I’ll sit back and see what happens.
Feel free to add to my list.
:wink:

When we had family here in September, there was need for a portacot given we had 2 littlies in the house.
Anyhow, Mel bought hers in, Tasha set it up and all was well.
It was set up in the spare room where it was needed, and this is a room we don’t use on a daily basis, so there was no hurry to fold it down and put it back in it’s carry bag.
Enter a friend returning from W.A after being there for 2 years. He needs somewhere to stay, and of course, being friends, were the first to offer somewhere to put his head until he got himself sorted.
Here for a week to 10 days, then off down south for Christmas, and he returned on Friday night.
Let’s set the scene here. Stay with me ok?
Mark is a very intelligent person, of that there is no doubt. He’s a sparky by trade, can turn his hand to anything that needs fixng, well educated, sharp as tack. Been a manager for years. I’m sure you get the picture?
Our friend, also named Mark is equally as intelligent. This man is a senior shot firer for the mines. In short, he blows shit up! Works with explosives, can calculate complicated formulas to bring down whatever needs to come down, and do it very efficiently, all in a well organised, systematic way.
2 very intelligent men yes?
This morning we decided TOM {the other Mark} should have maximum use of his room so he can set up his computer on the desk and make the bedroom his own private space.
Enter one portacot that needs folding down and storing.
I shit you not, I have never seen such a performance in my life!
Here we have 2 of THE most intelligent men I’ve ever had the good fortune to encounter, and this porta cot had them flumoxxed. 100% flumoxxed!
They had NFI what needed to be done, how to do it or even where to start.
First they stood and looked at it for all of 30 secs, discussed how to go about the task, then decided to apply male logic to it.
“No worries! She’ll be right mate! We can do this! We’re smart guys right??”
Now, I’ve heard people refer to male logic as an urban myth.
After this morning, I believe them wholeheartedly!!
Of course it stands to reason that these 2 KNEW how to do it {according to them that’s just logical!!}
I should have gotten photos, I know, you don’t need to say anything.
I merely stood there with a stunned expression on my face while watching 2 grown men fight, literally fight, with this damned thing.
They turned it upside down, around about 3 times, stood back, looked some more, turned it upside down again {because of course, so much would have changed since the LAST time they turned it upside down – all of 40 secs earlier!!} and STILL it stood ready to be used.

I ask you a couple of questions at this point.
How long to get this damned thing folded down?
Answer: 20 mins!!
How many times did I offer to ring Mel and see if she could swing by and do it for them?
Answer: at least 5 times!!
How many times did I get asked, do you know how to do this?
Answer: the same amount of times I answered in the negative…8!!
All this while turning it upside down, around and almost inside out in an attempt to make it comply!!
Needless to say, by the time they worked it out, I was almost hysterical with laughter at the confused, why the fuck can we not work this out look they had on their faces.
All this confusion was not helped by the comments from the peanut gallery {MOI!!}
“2 grown, intelligent, I can fix anything men, being fucked over by a portacot!!”
“Do you know how funny this is guys? Watching the 2 of you turn redder in the face by the second in pure frustration at NOT being able to do it??”
“I can ring Mel and ask if you want??”
“You know Mel and Tash can put these things up AND down with their eyes closed right???”
I think it was the last one that made them more determined than anything.
I mean hell! There’s no way 1 man could possibly admit women are better at some things than men, let alone 2 now is there????
Not too sure about you, but my weekend has been full of laughter, and the week to come will be spattered with the odd crack about portacots now and then!!
It’s gonna be a hoot!!
Now don’t you other boys be feeling sorry for them cos I’m making fun of it either! They had numerous offers to get it done properly and they refused them because it’s logical isn’t it???