OrganiSed Chaos

Indeed, it’s that time of the week when myself, Michael, Mark and DILLIGAF band together trying to titillate, tempt and tease you into some of the wittier little snippets life has to offer.
My first offering this week is some word play.
I’ve always said there are some very clever people in the world, and this merely serves to reinforce that notion.
Gotta love people with imagination, yes?
Alternate words.

In the middle we have a couple of images that had me spitting coffee over my laptop screen.


A joke about the most maligned little boy in the world.
Little Johhny!
Little Johnny came home one day and said to his mother:
“Mum! Peter next door has a penis like a peanut”
Mum replies:
“You mean shaped like a peanut?”
“No, it’s salty”
Finally, some insults for when the human race is pissing you up the wall.
1. I’m glad you’re short. It gives me less to complain about.
2. You don’t have a mother: Two dads and a chemistry set don’t count.
3. You’re so stupid, you’d asked for a price check at the $1.00 store.
4. Q. Have you ever seen a jackass wrapped in plastic?
A. Show me your license.
5. If I needed any shit from you I’d squeeze your head.
6. I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my arse!
Don’t forget to go visit my fellow makers of chaos and malarky, and always remember.
We’re laughing at you, not with you.
Have a great week peoples.

Wanted to welcome the two of you home.
I’m hoping that Christmas was fabulous for the both of you and all the family.
We so enjoyed the Skype call on Christmas Eve!
Crazy though, huh? 

Miss you both and praying you make it home safe.
*Moe, your plugins are up to date as is the new 2.9 version of Wordpress.
Didn’t want you working too hard when you came home.
btw- check your plugins. I uploaded a little surprise for you.
If I had admin on Oz, I would have done the same.
Malarky Monday can wait until next week!
Welcome home, folks, welcome home . . .
Later gators

~m

A little song while you’re unpacking

This week Malarky Monday is brought to you by the Christmas fairy.

He may not be a happy Christmas fairy, but he is a Christmas fairy all the same.
Also, we have a guest appearance for you to giggle over!
DILLIGAF has graciously agreed to join the mayhem that is MM, and has an absolute blinder for us!
I nearly bloody choked when I heard this, and it gives the 12 days of Christmas a whole new meaning, trust me!
Please be warned though.
This is strictly adult content.
Do NOT have your kids around when you play this video
As always we have the other contributors to MM in Mark, ~m, Grimm and {maybe} Muffy.
Onto my small contribution to the madness we all hope makes you at least smile, and if we’re extra lucky, we’ll hear a damned good belly laugh.
Given Christmas is almost upon us, I’ll stick with the seasonal snippets because there are just so many of them around.
Trying to pick the ones to post was my problem, and I can only hope you enjoy them.
To start with, the only word for this is awesome!
It’s bloody well done, so take the time to have a look.
{Thanks Pam!}

The obligatory funnies are next.

Someone made mention of their inner child recently.
Given the time of year, I thought it would be a good idea to explore the things our inner child could do during the festive season.
Who knows, you may find yourself actually enjoying the season rather than dreading it.
These are but a few of the activities which occurred to me.
Go look at the Christmas lights.
Not only is it free, but it will make the adult in you glad you don’t do it because you don’t have to pay the power bill.
Get a body board and head to the beach for some fun in the surf.
There is nothing makes you feel better than tumbling through the surf then screaming like a little kid when you get dumped.
Perchance you have snow, get a toboggan or sled and find the biggest hill you can, then throw caution to the wind and fly down it like the 7 devils are after you.
I’m sure you did it as a kid, why not now?
Eat the decorations off the tree when noone is looking, then deny, deny, deny!
It’s such fun.
The worst that can happen is you get busted and grounded, so then you don’t have to go to work. Bonus!
All the more time to work on those edible hangy thingies on the tree anyway!
String popcorn for the tree.
This was one of my favourite things to do when I was a kid.
Nothing has changed, I still love doing it.
Get a tin whistle then run up and down the street blowing it.
Go to the movies and spend the entire time giggling at the teenagers swapping spit in the back row.
Find a slide then go down it as many times as you can in the shortest possible time.
Play on a seesaw while you’re at it.
Go buy a yoyo and see if you can still walk the dog.
Preferably one of those crappy plastic ones you get in junk stockings.
Get a hula hoop and give it a go.
It will be a damned good cardio vascular work out at the same time!
Wander around the streets after the stores close and look at their displays.
Some of them are brilliant, and damned well done.
There are a million and one things you would do at Christmas when you were a kid, so why not now?
I guess my point is this.
Forget about the responsibility and hassles of Christmas and do what kids do best.
Embrace it, enjoy it and make the most of it.
Just for one day.
Try and see it through the eyes of a child.
Who knows, maybe it will hep you see things a little differently?
What did you used to do as a kid?

Monday mayhem is about to begin once again.
I won’t go on too much this week, other than to say, do yourself a favor and watch this.
I’m a bit of a closet Muppets fan, I am a HUGE Queen fan, and Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my all time favourite songs.
{I think I like it because trying to imagine the cocktail of drugs there were on is so much fun! }
When I came across this I howled with laughter so hard I nearly wet myself, and, of course, my first thought was MM.
This is just too good not to share with everyone.
Settle in for the ride, and once you’re done, don’t forget to visit my fellow malarkiers {is that actually a word??}
Mark, ~m, Muffy and Grimm

Indeed, the time has come when we make a small attempt to brighten your lives with a little giggle, or, if we’re lucky, a damned good belly laugh.
This week I have a small joke for you in honour of that wonderous time of year we know as Christmas.
Stay with me here, it may not seem like it’s a Christmas joke, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
I found a little Christmas image for you as well.
It made me smile and hopefully it will make you do the same.
Once you’re done here wander over and see my co conspirators in Mark, ~m and Muffy for some more Monday mirth.
Boobs and Willies
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’
The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three
Phases. In her 20s, a woman’s boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions’.
‘Onions?’
‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, ‘Mom, how
Many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?’
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ‘Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree’.
‘A Christmas tree?’
‘Yes — dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.’