OrganiSed Chaos » Friends

Beacons

anonymum — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:05:08 +0000

Of late my mind is quite strange.
I can hear some people saying this is perfectly normal for me, to them I would say screw you, that’s not what I mean and you know it!

I’m referring not so much to my state of mind, but rather how it’s been going off on it’s own little tangents without any warning.
Today it’s firmly entrenched in what I refer to as life altering times.
Moments of clarity which stay with you forever, and have the ability to change your entire life or the way you think, whether you want to or not.
These are moments that force changes, sometimes good, others not so good.
I’ll admit life is in a constant state of change for most people, and in that respect, I’m no different.
I am grateful that as a person I’m able to adapt to these things.
If we couldn’t adapt, we would drown in life itself I believe.
I’ve had many moments of clarity in my life, and every one of those moments is as clear today as the day they happened, so I thought to share just a few of the most important ones with you.
These are not in chronological order, they’re more in one of impact.
Obviously, the very first thing that comes to mind is the death of my mother.
There are few events in a 13 year old’s life which would have the impact this did.
Her death set off a chain of events that essentially shaped the rest of my life, because I can assure you, as a female, growing from a teenager to an adult without a mother to guide you is at best, difficult.
You have noone to point you in the right direction, nor anyone to advise you what’s right and wrong morally or physically, so the chance of making mistakes is higher than average.
My biggest regret, other than the obvious loss, is doubtlessly missing out on seeing her with my children and in turn, their children.
Enough said on that one I think.
Second in line is another death, that of my grandfather.
Although I only had him for a short time {6 1/2 years} it was long enough to create a bond that has, in my heart, lasted to today, and in fact I can still conjure the feeling of safety he engendered in me.
Yes I’ll freely admit, I miss him badly even though he’s been gone for 46 years {that’s absolutely the little girl talking there isn’t it??}
My father remarrying so early after the death of my mother {6 months later} is once again, an event that helped shape the rest of my life.
I refuse to go into details, suffice to say at {many} times, it’s been a decidedly unpleasant scenario, one which continues even today and still impacts on the relationship I have with my father.
It goes without saying the births of my children were 100% life altering, and again, still effects my life every single day, but in a good way, as I’m sure every parent would agree it does.
As a parent, we see our children as our babies, regardless of age, however, if you seriously want to see them as adults, watch them give birth.
Mark and I were privileged to be present when Zoe was born, and in fact I cut her cord, but I can assure you, it is not something I am in any hurry to repeat!
My pride in seeing how Kelly dealt with childbirth knows no bounds, however it was a moment of clarity like no other.
No more could I ever think of her as a girl.
She was, from that moment forward, without doubt, a woman.
Yes, she is still my little girl in some ways because they always need their mother {as did I many times through my life} but she’s not my little girl any more.
Quite contradictory I know, but truthful all the same.
It was no different other than the geography when Tasha and Melissa became mothers.
No more were they my babies.
With babies of their own, they were no longer apprentice people as I see young adults.
They were fully fledged.
I believe watching our children grow presents most of our life altering times.
It gives us an insight into how our parents felt watching us grow, and it it also gives us a greater appreciation of what our parents did in times which were not easy by today’s standards, and in some cases, the sacrifices they made.
In my adult life, besides the girls becoming mothers, the one thing that stands out head and shoulders above everything else is the day I met Mark.
I can recall every single detail and word from that day almost 16 years ago.
You want to talk about life altering, well let me tell you, I cannot begin to describe the difference it’s made to my life.
The good that has come from not only meeting, but marrying him?
Not possible to list them all here.
He is my sun, moon and stars and I love him beyond reason, no matter what.
Other things that come to mind are far away people I’ve met in recent years.
I credit these people with many positive things in my life as well.
A new way of thinking, seeing and believing are but some of the off shoots, and again, I couldn’t begin to tell you the ways this has shaped my life of late.
There have been more but the ones I have here are the big ones, those which have had the biggest impact.
Feel free to voice some of the beacons in your life, but please don’t feel obligated.
To speak of these things is not easy as I well know, but my mind has been rampant with them lately, and I needed to get them out there in the hope it will silence my mind.
I hope your weekend is treating you as well as mine is being to me.

In your eyes

anonymum — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 08:50:44 +0000

Someone made a comment recently about how they see themselves.
As is often the way, this prompted a convoluted thought process in my head.
The end result of said process was the conclusion that each of us sees ourselves differently to those around us.
As an example, I see myself as well overweight.
Common sense tells me I’m not, as do many people, but that doesn’t stop the thought entering my head.
{my clothes also have an opinion in this respect, as they tighten just a little more around my belly and butt!!}
How many of us see ourselves in a totally different light to others?
If you did a quick poll, the results would be overwhelming I think.
Every single person alive sees the person they are, differently to others, even their spouse.
Mark constantly tells me how beautiful I am.
My standard response is to let him know he’s not in trouble so there’s no need to butter me up, at which he merely smiles.
This has nothing to do with seeing people through rose coloured glasses.
It’s about how we view ourselves more than anything else.
The person I was speaking to sees themself as flawed and nothing out of the ordinary.
My response to that is they’re seeing the person they are from the outside as opposed to looking inward.
On the inside they’re nowhere near ordinary, as is the case with most people.
How many people do you see from the inside?
Honestly I mean, not just to be nice.
I’m not much into aesthetics {unless you’re talking about the way my blog looks of course!!} so how a person “looks” is quite irrelevant to me.
I don’t care if they have 2 heads, 3 noses on each head with a wart on each of those noses, and only 1 tooth in their head.
If the person inside is worth knowing, them I’m there.
Many don’t think that way.
I appreciate that how a person looks is important to them, because it can do wonders for their self confidence I know, and sure, it’s nice to have something or someone pretty, or even be pretty, but does it seriously make a difference?
Does how you look make so big a difference to your life?
All of us are guilty of putting ourselves down sometimes, me included, I’ll admit and the person in question here is expert at it, something which I regularly take them to task for.
Is society partly to blame?
Let’s be honest, women are made feel fat because clothes are made for stick figures, successful men are portrayed as dashing, well dressed and handsome.
These things can’t help, surely?
To my way of thinking, life is about attitude and what you do, not how you look.
I see little point in being one of the “beautiful” people if the person involved has no ethics or integrity, which seems to be the case many times.
Yes, I like to be, or see others, presentable, but to define presentable is different in most people’s minds.
I would certainly struggle with someone who smells because they don’t wash or use deodorant, but that’s a different thing to how they actually look.
Try and see yourself through the eyes of others and tell me the result.
I mean an honest result too, not one you think I want to hear.
You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.
How does that sound???

Wonderful

anonymum — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 19:30:08 +0000

So we’re nearly done.
I say this not to make people sad, it’s more for me to psych myself up for what must be done on Friday.
We’ve had a holiday that will be remembered for a long, long time though because the past 3 weeks have been wonderful.
No other word comes close to saying what I mean.
We’ve been to some brilliant places, seen some fantastic sights, sweated in the heat some days, and almost frozen our butts off some nights {well, I did anyway, others fared a little better!}
The food has been incredible, the scenery and terrain delightful and the company nothing less than perfect.
We have the remainder of today, all of tomorrow and the best part of Friday before we leave though, and I can assure you, we will absolutely be making the most of that time.
Later today I will do some cooking and baking {have to leave some Anzac biscuits!} and into Boston for some more fun tomorrow, then tomorrow night we’ll hang at home, eat some good food, start a firepit, then laugh and reminisce about our time here.
There will be laughter, and some tears, but we will finish as we started.
Around the fire pit drinking and just generally enjoying each others company, because that’s what it’s all about.
It’s well and good to go out or away, but it all boils down to good friends just enjoying each other.
I know there are people nodding their heads in agreement as they read that last line, because it’s the truth.
Nothing compares to good friends getting together, and nothing can stop it happening, not even geography.
Maybe we would like it to happen a little more, but we all take what we can when we can.
It’s the only option we have.

Determination

anonymum — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 10:16:52 +0000

“The ability to see past challenge rather than stare at it”
This is going to be my new mantra, because the next 23 days will be just that.
A challenge.
I’m already like a maggot on a BBQ, jumping all over the place, and it’s only going to get worse from here on in.
We badly need a holiday, and yes, we know we’re going to have one, but we also know the last few weeks before we go are the worst.
It seems to take forever to pass, and that in turn makes us restless.
This is not good, because there is still much we need to do on a few fronts, the very first of which is work {yes, that dreaded 4 lettered word}
The restless feeling is not a new one.
We were exactly the same around this time last year, and even though we’re prepared for that restless period, being prepared doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.
It’s been quite the year for us one way an another, and an emotional one.
Sick children, work problems, stock takes, seeing people mourn and having to watch helplessly while people we care about suffer through these things has been particularly difficult.
Now, whilst it could be construed as life in general, I think we all know, rarely is it so simple when it comes to the actual doing, and living through it.
Time will seem to drag for the next 23 days, and that will almost drive me mad, but determination will stand me in good stead, I’m sure.
I just want the tiredness to seep away, to be able to relax, and spend time with some fabulous friends, so determination will be needed if I’m to get done what needs to be done before we leave.
Right now I’m off to pay for some travel insurance, so that’s step 1 in my plan.
I’ll play the rest by ear, so let’s hope my ears are listening!

Shhhhh

anonymum — Sat, 15 May 2010 14:10:45 +0000

My birthday is something I like to keep away from the bulk of places, but most noticeably, work.
I also warned my family to not say anything on Facebook.
Having said that, I know this will post on Facebook via a plugin, and yes, I also know that will announce it to the world.
Well, maybe not the world, but at the very least anyone who can see my profile and updates.
Whilst it may seem odd to tell people not to say something and then say it myself, the difference is, this is my choice.
I prefer to have these things happen my way, in my time, and that’s simply the way I’m built.
My dislike of people other than my family making a fuss of my birthday, I believe, goes back to my childhood.
My birthday was always in the middle of the school holidays so I got used to it being celebrated at home as opposed to anywhere else, and I seem to have carried that right through to today.
{that was in the days when we had 3 school terms, not 4}
Mark knows, as do the girls.
Do not send anything to work, or should you ring and I’m on the phone, do not leave a message to say you’re ringing to wish me a happy birthday.
I’m not overly fond of being the centre of cakes and songs and blowing out candles.
It’s not an age thing, that I can assure you.
I’m 53 today and have never been scared of telling anyone who asks how old I am.
Age is a state of mind and a number, nothing more and nothing less.
I currently feel around the 30 mark, however, there are days when I feel every last one of my years too!
Thankfully, those days are not too frequent.
Happy birthday to me is the bottom line.
This post is nothing more than a gentle reminder that 53 years ago today, my mother did for me what every mother alive has done.
She gave me life amidst the pain that is child birth, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I would be happy for you all to celebrate with me, and I hope everyone who comes here today raises a glass for me tonight.
I know I will be!

The fog has lifted

anonymum — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 09:30:12 +0000

I have a firm belief that as we ascend into heaven, there are angels who sing.
In the last 24 hours these angels will have sung one of the sweetest songs they could as they welcome into their embrace a beloved husband, father and grandfather.
One who has suffered far too much, for far too long.
As the angels embrace him, he will look over their wings to see his beloved Ginny, bathed in sunlight, smiling, waiting for her chance to embrace the man she has missed for nearly 5 years.
He is at peace, his mind is clear, and he smiles, because the fog has lifted.
Finally the sun shines again for him.
Our thoughts are tonight in Boston with a family who while mourning, are also feeling a sense of relief that suffering has ended, and give thanks for the sunshine that bathes their loved ones as they are reunited in eternal peace.

RIP Wally
5/23/29 – 3/23/10

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

{{{hugs}}} for you all.
We’re unable to communicate how badly we want to be there with, and for you, but please know we are there 150% in spirit as you traverse this sad time.

I’m an Aussie and bloody proud of it!

anonymum — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:30:10 +0000

It’s Australia day here today.
That day of the year when we celebrate living in this magnificent country of ours.
For the non Aussies among us, I give you some history on the day itself, so you have some idea of what I’m waffling about.
We have many, many reasons to be grateful in our country, and many have explained it far better than I ever can, so this is just to say:

AUSSIE
OI
AUSSIE
OI
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!
OI OI OI!!!

Celebrate being Australian!
If you’re short of a quid, knock on the next door neighbours front door, cos he’s sure to have a few snags on the barbie, and will doubtlessly share them, whether he likes you or not.
It’s just the Australian way after all.
Have a fabulous day people.

Welcome Home

michaelm — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 01:15:07 +0000

Wanted to welcome the two of you home.
I’m hoping that Christmas was fabulous for the both of you and all the family.
We so enjoyed the Skype call on Christmas Eve!
Crazy though, huh?

Miss you both and praying you make it home safe.
*Moe, your plugins are up to date as is the new 2.9 version of WordPress.
Didn’t want you working too hard when you came home.
btw- check your plugins. I uploaded a little surprise for you.
If I had admin on Oz, I would have done the same.
Malarky Monday can wait until next week!
Welcome home, folks, welcome home . . .
Later gators

A little song while you’re unpacking

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 04:00:10 +0000

Indeed, the time has come when we make a small attempt to brighten your lives with a little giggle, or, if we’re lucky, a damned good belly laugh.
This week I have a small joke for you in honour of that wonderous time of year we know as Christmas.
Stay with me here, it may not seem like it’s a Christmas joke, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
I found a little Christmas image for you as well.
It made me smile and hopefully it will make you do the same.
Once you’re done here wander over and see my co conspirators in Mark, ~m and Muffy for some more Monday mirth.
Boobs and Willies
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’
The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three
Phases. In her 20s, a woman’s boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions’.
‘Onions?’
‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, ‘Mom, how
Many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?’
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ‘Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree’.
‘A Christmas tree?’
‘Yes — dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.’

A serious addiction

anonymum — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 14:07:37 +0000

I spend hours on the net, and when I say that, I mean serious hours.
Anyone who knows anything about me will realise that every morning I turn on my laptop before my eyes are open properly.
Before I pee, even before I put the kettle on.
THE only thing I do before I turn it on is get out of bed.
Literally.
Mark turns the news on, I turn the laptop on.
*shrug*
It’s simply the way it is.
I’m a bit of a night owl too, so most nights find me with laptop firmly planted and me trying hard to catch up with all that has been happening while I was at work.
In my early blogging days, I would comment on every single post anyone on my blogroll had done, and then some.
{This new job has kicked my arse since I started and I’ve been slack since then, I know, but I’m working hard on changing that}
I’ve seen blogs come and go, started over, started other new blogs for people, seen others delete and have decided this is simply the nature of blogging.
The very last thing I do before I go to bed is check my email before turning my baby off.
I have Twitter, Facebook, Skype, God only knows how many blogs, thousands of items coming into my reader, plus I stumble, I read, I wander, and so the list goes one, but I’m sure you get the drift of what I’m saying.
If it can be done on the net, I’m there!
There is a point here, so stay with me {actually, it’s a question}
When does this type of thing become a time waster?
When does it become a problem?
I don’t have a family at home to worry about, there is only Mark and I, so that’s not a consideration.
I’ve turned doing housework into something compatible with surfing, so even that doesn’t count.
Hell, you should see me fly through a few items in my reader as I zip past with the vacuum cleaner.
It’s a thing of beauty, and an art I have perfected!
I can Skype, chat with 3 people, do a post, and watch TV all at the same time.
Until recently I was heavily involved with a bloggers forum {we closed it down due to lack if traffic} I look after my blog, Marks and several others, plus I’m always on the look out for new ideas.
I own more domain names than you can poke a stick at, and one day every last one of them will be hosted somewhere, for some purpose.
I’m particularly lucky in that I have a {long suffering} and indulgent husband who never complains about the time, nor the money I spend in pursuit of my hobby.
Because that’s what it is to me.
A hobby.
It’s broadened my mind, and my horizons.
Blogging has been responsible for us meeting some of the most wonderful people a person could ever wish to have in their lives, it brings the world closer, keeps me in touch with family thousands of kilometers away, and amuses me no end with it’s infinite wonders.
I don’t see it as a problem at all, but I know that’s not always the case.
There are some who have been hurt immeasurably by the internet because of some strange happenings, people have been stalked and harassed, and of course, there are the sickos who inhabit cyberspace, so don’t get me started there.
Overall I see it as a way of staying connected with family and friends and the rest of it, such as blogging and all of those things are an added bonus that I happen to enjoy.
How about you?
I realise there may be some like myself who are, quite frankly, addicted, and then there are others who seem to come and go like the wind.
Where do you fall in this?
Addicted?
Not addicted?
Take it or leave it?
See it as a time waster?
Speak up.
I can admit I have a serious internet addiction, so don’t be shy.
Tell Aunty Moe all about it!