Archive for the ‘Dicks!’ Category

Hey you – dick!

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

ETA: When I called one of the applicants to advise they weren’t successful with their application, the first words he said were “Why the fuck not!!??”
:roll:
Explains a lot about the person doesn’t it??

idiot2
At work we currently have a vacancy.
It’s not the worst job in the place.
Yes, it’s hot, dirty and physical, but it pays a reasonable wage, plus penalty rates.
Now given the nature of the job, we don’t need a brain surgeon, just someone prepared to work hard and have some semblance of common sense.
Not too hard to fill the position you would think?
Hmmm….my thoughts exactly.
Apparently it’s not quite that simple.
I appreciate the economy here in NQ is a little slow, and there are many out of work, but I certainly didn’t think I would need to wade through 86 applications, however we do what we need to do.
Here are a few little hints and tips for aspiring applicants.
If your email says please find my resume attached, then attach it! I know there could be times when you did attach it and something may have gone wrong, but let me assure you, when I call you to ask if you could resend in order for you to have as good a chance as the next person, it’s not in your best interests to suggest I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to reading an email.
Strike 1!
If you apply for a job, you could perhaps forgive the person receiving said application, assuming you actually want the job.
When the person making the decision regarding who gets an interview rings to suggest a mutually acceptable time for that interview, it does not go down well to start the conversation by rattling off the times you can and can’t make it because of your social life.
I know it’s Christmas, but if you’re unemployed and want that to change, it’s in your interest to fit in with me, not the other way around.
If you’re not prepared to make an effort to get to an interview, you would perhaps forgive me for being concerned about the effort you would make to not only get to work, but actually do your job once you got there.
Strike 2!
The best is yet to come though, my friends.
This is the best piece of advise I can give you when applying for any job.
DO NOT address the person receiving your application as “Hey you”
My name was on the advert, use it dickwad!
I got not one word further than those 2 words on your cover letter, because your application hit the recycle bin with a resounding thud the minute I saw the words in question.
Strike 3, you’re out!
WTF were these 3 dicks thinking when they did the above mentioned things?
Clearly they weren’t thinking at all.
Maybe applicants should think about this?
For every job advertised, there are at least 50 people who apply, giving employers quite a good choice.
Yes, I need to fill the position, but I don’t need you when there are people smart enough to know how to speak to, and act, towards a prospective employer.

Malarky Monday

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Monday is upon us, once again.
{damn that “C” word is looming fast isn’t it??}
Yes, it’s time for us to try and make you chortle, snortle or maybe even pee in your widdle pantaloons.
My Malarky Mondays have been generating quite a lot of traffic, but few comments, so it seems people come, then they either laugh or cry and leave again without saying anything.
Go figure!
This week, my malarky is dedicated to stupid people.
100%, totally, hopelessly stupid!
Have a look and all will be revealed, very quickly.
They walk among us you know.
Stupid people I mean.
They have heads on them like bloody mice.
On the positive side, they are handy for a damned good laugh on a Monday, so I should be grateful I suppose!
Firstly, have a go at this dick!!
**shaking head**

Next, check out some more dicks!!!
Some of these are quite painful to watch I must say.
Funny, but painful!
You can just see what’s coming in most of them, however that merely adds to the fun I think!
:lol:

My fellow malarkers in Mark, ~m and Muffy will have more, so don’t be shy, click the links and see what hilarity they offer this week {please be sure to leave them a comment, because, like most bloggers, they’re comment whores}
Have a great week, and a good laugh guys.