OrganiSed Chaos » Change

Beacons

anonymum — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:05:08 +0000

Of late my mind is quite strange.
I can hear some people saying this is perfectly normal for me, to them I would say screw you, that’s not what I mean and you know it!

I’m referring not so much to my state of mind, but rather how it’s been going off on it’s own little tangents without any warning.
Today it’s firmly entrenched in what I refer to as life altering times.
Moments of clarity which stay with you forever, and have the ability to change your entire life or the way you think, whether you want to or not.
These are moments that force changes, sometimes good, others not so good.
I’ll admit life is in a constant state of change for most people, and in that respect, I’m no different.
I am grateful that as a person I’m able to adapt to these things.
If we couldn’t adapt, we would drown in life itself I believe.
I’ve had many moments of clarity in my life, and every one of those moments is as clear today as the day they happened, so I thought to share just a few of the most important ones with you.
These are not in chronological order, they’re more in one of impact.
Obviously, the very first thing that comes to mind is the death of my mother.
There are few events in a 13 year old’s life which would have the impact this did.
Her death set off a chain of events that essentially shaped the rest of my life, because I can assure you, as a female, growing from a teenager to an adult without a mother to guide you is at best, difficult.
You have noone to point you in the right direction, nor anyone to advise you what’s right and wrong morally or physically, so the chance of making mistakes is higher than average.
My biggest regret, other than the obvious loss, is doubtlessly missing out on seeing her with my children and in turn, their children.
Enough said on that one I think.
Second in line is another death, that of my grandfather.
Although I only had him for a short time {6 1/2 years} it was long enough to create a bond that has, in my heart, lasted to today, and in fact I can still conjure the feeling of safety he engendered in me.
Yes I’ll freely admit, I miss him badly even though he’s been gone for 46 years {that’s absolutely the little girl talking there isn’t it??}
My father remarrying so early after the death of my mother {6 months later} is once again, an event that helped shape the rest of my life.
I refuse to go into details, suffice to say at {many} times, it’s been a decidedly unpleasant scenario, one which continues even today and still impacts on the relationship I have with my father.
It goes without saying the births of my children were 100% life altering, and again, still effects my life every single day, but in a good way, as I’m sure every parent would agree it does.
As a parent, we see our children as our babies, regardless of age, however, if you seriously want to see them as adults, watch them give birth.
Mark and I were privileged to be present when Zoe was born, and in fact I cut her cord, but I can assure you, it is not something I am in any hurry to repeat!
My pride in seeing how Kelly dealt with childbirth knows no bounds, however it was a moment of clarity like no other.
No more could I ever think of her as a girl.
She was, from that moment forward, without doubt, a woman.
Yes, she is still my little girl in some ways because they always need their mother {as did I many times through my life} but she’s not my little girl any more.
Quite contradictory I know, but truthful all the same.
It was no different other than the geography when Tasha and Melissa became mothers.
No more were they my babies.
With babies of their own, they were no longer apprentice people as I see young adults.
They were fully fledged.
I believe watching our children grow presents most of our life altering times.
It gives us an insight into how our parents felt watching us grow, and it it also gives us a greater appreciation of what our parents did in times which were not easy by today’s standards, and in some cases, the sacrifices they made.
In my adult life, besides the girls becoming mothers, the one thing that stands out head and shoulders above everything else is the day I met Mark.
I can recall every single detail and word from that day almost 16 years ago.
You want to talk about life altering, well let me tell you, I cannot begin to describe the difference it’s made to my life.
The good that has come from not only meeting, but marrying him?
Not possible to list them all here.
He is my sun, moon and stars and I love him beyond reason, no matter what.
Other things that come to mind are far away people I’ve met in recent years.
I credit these people with many positive things in my life as well.
A new way of thinking, seeing and believing are but some of the off shoots, and again, I couldn’t begin to tell you the ways this has shaped my life of late.
There have been more but the ones I have here are the big ones, those which have had the biggest impact.
Feel free to voice some of the beacons in your life, but please don’t feel obligated.
To speak of these things is not easy as I well know, but my mind has been rampant with them lately, and I needed to get them out there in the hope it will silence my mind.
I hope your weekend is treating you as well as mine is being to me.

Comfort

anonymum — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 08:25:54 +0000

A big part of why we chose Nth QLD for our sea change was the climate.
Perfect weather for the best part of the year was a huge attraction to us.
Warm, balmy, star filled nights, clear, cloudless blue sky days, gentle breezes rustling through the palm trees.
I’m sure you get the picture, yes?
However.
Of late I have found myself longing for something different and I think that’s because I miss being where I was born and bred, foul weather and all.
I miss crisp autumn mornings, the crunch of grass as you walk across it after the frost has come down.
It brings back childhood memories of waking up to windows covered in frost and being able to write your name on there, regardless of the wrath sure to descend should you be caught.
Once it dried the letters were still visible, yet still we did it, because we were kids and fearless, of course!
Breakfast would be thick, rich, creamy porridge with honey and milk, and fresh bread straight from the oven, toasted then slathered with butter and Vegemite.
Lunch at school would consist of a thermos full to the brim with homemade beef and vegetable soup, thick with barley, and 2 slices of the same bread we had for breakfast.
Comfort food.
Everything in autumn and winter was for comfort.
Extra blankets would be brought out of the hall cupboard a couple of weeks before the cold weather started to air them of the mothballs they had been packed in since being put away at the beginning of spring the year before.
I actually preferred them not aired out because I love the smell of camphor, so now and again Mum would humour me and leave one in the cupboard just so I could go to sleep at night with the smell in my nostrils.
I so loved it when she did that!
I can still smell the fire as it was slowly burning of a night, feel the warmth it radiated out into the room, and see all of us in our thick pyjamas, dressing gowns and slippers.
In my minds eye it’s as clear as it was at the time.
Looking back on what I’ve written here it occurs to me.
Maybe I don’t so much miss the cooler weather as I miss my childhood?
I watch my daughters raising their children, and every time they make me smile by saying something to their children that I used to say to them, I lament my mother never having had the chance to watch the things I did and said as I was raising my own.
Because much of what I used to say came from my mothers mouth when she was alive.
Maybe I’m simply missing my mother more than usual of late, but I don’t know why that would be.
One would think after 39 years, that a level of acceptance had been reached, surely?
It makes little sense to me that I would miss her more today than yesterday.
Perhaps I’m just feeling old, maybe even maudlin?
I can’t answer that question, but I can tell you I feel better for seeing these words in black and white.
I feel in recent times that my thoughts have changed.
They’ve become melancholy and introspective.
My mind is firmly entrenched in days gone by, it looks to the future with anticipation, yet rarely is it in the present.
If truth be known I think the entire tone of the blog has changed.
My posts have gone from humour, sarcasm and profanities to posts that almost seem to make sense, albeit in a less artistic way than others can do it.
If anyone has a theory on this strange happening, please feel free to share it, because it’s got me beat!

Behind the scenes

anonymum — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 04:18:09 +0000

I’ve been looking for a premium theme for some time, with little success until recently when I purchased one.
Well, the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray they say, and it would seem the same can be applied to women.
I’ve had to enlist the help of my very own blogging goddess, who is also having some trouble she tell me, so if that’s the case I’m sure I would still be working on it this time next year if it’s giving her problems, trust me.
In the mean time, I’ve been trawling the internetz looking, and waiting for something to grab me, and today it did.
The irony here is that is was on the WordPress site!
I rarely go there looking for themes because not a lot of them grab me ordinarily, and searching through them can be quite tedious, but these days you can search by tags and descriptions so it’s not too bad.
Me, being me, wanted a customisable header, so that’s what I went for.
Lo and behold a theme jumped out at me!
It’s wicked!
Really wicked!
I’m currently futzing with it to get it right and hope to have it done by the end of the weekend, and will launch it with my Malarky Monday post, if not before.
The biggest surprise of all, to me anyway, is that it’s only 2 columns.
I always, always, go for 3 columns, but this is different for some reason, plus it’s fluid width which is just a bonus.
So that’s going to be the best part of my weekend methinks.
There is much happening that you can’t see, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time as it generally is.
It’s flogging down rain here, so there is little else to do anyway, and a new theme always brightens my day a little.
I hope your weekend is treating you well.

A change of pace

anonymum — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 22:13:36 +0000

I’ve never been one to post recipes on my blog other than when a request was made or a question asked.
So, I thought, just for a change of pace, I would.
The biggest problem once this decision was made however, was to choose a recipe.
A salad?
Nah!
Too common.
A roast?
A roast isn’t something that really needs a recipe, and I’m not much into cakes or sweet things, so I looked to my favourite foods of all time.
I’m a chicken freak, I love Indian/Asian food, and chili is one of my favourite ingredients, so the logical choice was Chili Chicken of course.
The recipe you see below is one that has been made in my kitchen more times than you could count, and there is little left once we eat.
Maybe a little for lunch the next day, but not too often.
Feel free to copy and paste, then print it out and try it.
If you like your food with some authority, this is for you, trust me!
The chili can be made more or less depending on taste is what I like about it.
I use bucket loads, others use just enough to give them a little taste.
It’s entirely a matter of choice.
The simple method for this is one of the reasons I love making it.
So few steps involved you may think you missed something.
Trust me, you didn’t.
It really is that simple.
So here we go.
One of my favourites.

Ingredients:
4 -6 chicken thighs {you could substitute breasts or a whole chicken cut into serving pieces if you prefer}
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp coriander seeds
3 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp garam masala
3 tbsp red chili powder
chopped habanero chilies to taste {as many as you want, and with or without seeds depending on the heat you want to create. I use 5 or 6 ordinarily, and leave the seeds in}
2 tbsp finely chopped shallots
2 tbsp finely chopped onions
Dried red chili pods {again, as many as you want and with or without seeds depending on the heat you want}
Chicken stock to taste {I say this because how much you use is dependent on how much juice you like. I like lots so tend to use a lot of stock}
salt and sugar to taste

Marinate chicken with red chili powder, turmeric powder, and garam masala spice. Set aside {as with anything, the longer you marinate it, the better…i do mine overnight}
Stir-fry the minced shallots, onions, coriander, mustard seeds, chilies, and dried chili pods till fragrant. Add chicken and pan fry on both sides until nicely browned.
Add water, salt and sugar to taste. Cover and simmer on low heat for 10-15 minutes OR until fully cooked.
Serve with boiled/steamed rice.

Someone should have warned me

anonymum — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 20:48:57 +0000

Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual.
You go along, day after day, doing the best you can and making the most of what you have.
I have no desire to know the future be it good, bad or otherwise, but there are a few little snippets I would have been happy to know about, before they happened.
So I could have been prepared, if you know what I mean?
Here are a few of them.
Grey pubic hairs!
FFS, the cultural shock of finding one is an experience I would have been more than happy to pass on!
After 45 no matter how hard you try not to, you are going to put on weight.
Ok, it may not be a lot, but it’s still there!
Begone you foul beast!!! If you keep this up, my arse will need a post code all of it’s own!!
Your tolerance level for arse hats, fuck wits and morons hits lower than rock bottom.
Whilst some see this as a good thing, there are others, like me, who already had a low tolerance level for the aforementioned species of people, so I’m a little concerned about the results should it go any lower!
Whilst controlling my bladder has never been an issue for me, it seems in the last few years it’s capacity has lessened.
What other explanation is there for the 2 trips to the loo throughout the night, even when I don’t drink anything in the 2 hours before I retire?
Getting out of a comfortable lounge chair becomes a challenge as big as scaling a freaking mountain.
It seems as if every bone in your body is protesting at the monumental request you’ve made, and it’s not letting you know about said protest in a non confrontational manner.
The need to have lists for everything from shopping to what you need to do on any particular day.
I’m dreading the night I feel the need to put a note next to my bed in order to be reminded I have to go to work in the morning.
Nightmare scenario that one is!!
These are merely a few of the things my late 40′s and early 50′s have bought quite unexpectedly.
There are many, many more, but I though it only polite to leave some for others who are brave enough to let us know their little unexpected surprises as they move towards being older.
Please note I said older, NOT old!
Your turn….

Organised soɐɥɔ

anonymum — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:00:55 +0000

The title of this post is the normal state of my life, so I felt it nothing less than appropriate I call my second home just that.
It was a flippant comment made by Kelly one night when we were discussing what name was best once I’d decided to change the name of my blog.
It struck a chord, and seemed more than fitting for the place where I’ve logged some serious hours.
When I say serious, I mean serious.
If I added the time up, it would be staggering, without a doubt.
For the inverted text in the tagline, I thank ~m.
He sent me the link some time ago, and I’ve been waiting for the right time to use it.
Given Australia is considered “down under” again I could think of nothing more appropriate.
Not only that, it adds to the chaos I think {in an organised way of course!}
I thank the same person for being my sounding board in relation to the theme.
His and my idea of how a blog should be just so are very, very similar, so who better to pick the shit out of it as I fiddled to get it right in the last few days?
So there you have it people.
Organised chaos it is, and soɐɥɔ pǝsıuɐƃɹo it will stay.
As well as this change, I’ll be making an attempt to be a better blog buddy this year.
The last few months have been mad, mad, mad for me, but I’m hoping to see that turn to some semblance of normality with the new year {whatever normality is, of course!}
I want to get back to posting, and visiting, daily.
There was a time when I did not miss a day to visit and comment and that’s the way I like to be, so let’s see how I go shall we?
No, it’s not a resolution because I don’t do them, but it is something I want to do.
Please let me know what you think of the name and the theme.
Feel free to let me know if you find a 3 column, dark theme with a customisable header as well.
I’ve been looking for one for God only knows how long, so I’m pretty much over it.
Maybe the original theme whore will manage to find one somewhere??
That’s me, I’m off to do some visiting!
Oh, and Happy New Year!
There are fireworks for the occasion as well, and don’t forget to check out the rotating header images!
Wicked!!
I hope 2010 is good to you and brings all you hope for, and deserve.

It’s been hard work

anonymum — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 01:16:36 +0000

Some 8 years ago, we decided we needed a sea change.
At the time we had no idea of where we wanted to go, but had enough trust in fate to know somewhere would present itself when the time was right.
The only thing we knew for sure was it needed to be near the water because we both love it so much.
That was the only set criteria we had.
A year or so after the decision was made, we came to Townsville in order to spend Christmas with 2 of the girls and one grandchild.
After less than 24 hours of being here, we knew.
This is it.
This was where we wanted to be.
It wasn’t only the tropical weather {although that played a big part} it was the more laid back life style, the beaches, just the general feel of the the place.
We felt comfortable, the price of living was reasonable, plus there was a small part of family here, so that was a bonus.
If we’d found somewhere that had no family and felt as comfortable, we would have moved there though.
That family were here was just a bonus.
One of us had to stay behind and keep earning a living while the other went forth to the unknown in order to get a job and establish some sort of base for us, so Mark packed some clothes, hired a car and set off for Queensland.
He stayed with the aforementioned family and set about doing just that.
It took a while, but he got one.
7 months later, I threw my high paying job in, he flew down and collected me and enough stuff to give us a start.
What we bought with us fitted into a 7 x 5 trailer, and it was the bare basics.
We had no intention of spending what money we had on removalists, so we sold, gave away or left behind what we thought we could do without.
Some we put into storage, but not a lot.
It took me 8 months to get a job.
8 long months where we made do with 5 parts of bugger all money, car payments and rent to pay, and still had a need to eat, buy petrol and cigarettes, all the things that go into life.
Since I got that first job, I’ve had another 3 jobs, and I’m into my 4th.
Mark has had just as many, if not more, and finally…finally, we’re back where we started 7 years ago, just before we left Sydney.
We have good, secure, well paying jobs, and in fact Mark has just gotten a promotion and a decent pay rise, I’m a manager in a job I love, and life is on an even keel.
I can assure you, it has not been easy for the last 7 years.
It’s been bloody hard work.
We’ve had to borrow money from our family, and at times, from our children.
There have been times when we’ve come close to separating because of the stress, we’ve fought and argued, and we’ve almost ripped each other apart.
Yet, we persisted, because it’s just what we do.
It’s life, it’s marriage and it was a choice we made, with our eyes wide open.
We wanted to do it.
Would I recommend doing this to anyone else?
Hell yes.
There has been the odd moment when I wondered about our intelligence I have to say, but would I do it all again?
In a heart beat!!!

DILLIGAF

anonymum — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 03:21:57 +0000

A new blog has hit the blogosphere!
Yes, I’m involved.
Heavily.
It came about because, as it transpired, I had a spare hosting account, so I thought I shouldn’t let it go to waste.
If noone else wanted it, then I was going to make use of it.
To do anything else would have been just silly, wouldn’t it?
Anyhow.
I had a spare domain, so myself, Burnie and the golden boy decided to create DILLIGAF.
There may even be the odd blonde post! Who knows???
Having said that, if you feel the burning need to say something away from your place, please use the contact form and tell us.
Everyone will post under the one name, so other than those who run the blog, noone will have any idea who said what!

It’s going to be VERY politically incorrect, plus it will be rude, crude and utterly uncouth at times.
There will also be some serious subjects, fabulous music and the odd interesting opinion on the so called evolved thinking of being “PC”, which I have no doubt pisses most of you off, the same as it does the rest of us.
Please wander over and have a look, and if the fancy takes you, feel free to blogroll us.
We do know it won’t be to everyone’s taste, and we can live with that, but we also know that now and then a forum is required where you can let your hair down, and say some of the things you don’t feel suit the overall tone of your regular blog.
That’s me, I’m off to do some baking for the afternoon.
I hope your weekend is treating you well.
I know mine is.

Do you remember when…

anonymum — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 02:27:34 +0000

Milk came in a real glass bottle rather than feral plastic or waxed cartons they come in these days, and you could actually have it delivered?
When bread was made of what it’s meant to be made of and didn’t have 99 different preservatives, colourings and flavourings added to it?
Being politically correct was NOT the first consideration on your mind before you opened your mouth to speak?
Gay was a word used when you were happy, not as an intended reference to someone’s sexuality? Really, who gives a damn? People need to do what makes them happy regardless of what it is, and that others feel the need to put a label on every damned thing gets clean up my nose!
Sorry, I digress, that’s a post all of it’s own!
People had respect for those older than them, and didn’t see them as objects of amusement or a source of quick, easy income because they tend to be easier to mug?
Going for a walk at night was something you could do without being concerned for your welfare and health?
Going about your employment was something you could do without worrying about getting shot?
A story such as the one above made more headlines than the death of someone who whilst brilliant in a musical sense, had quite lost his grip on reality {assuming he ever really had it}
In relation to the above, I feel for MJ’s family, but mostly I feel for those poor little kids who really have no idea of the world that awaits them, and the way the media will drag their father through the mill for the rest of their days, and the fact that they will never be able to have any privacy, and if some have their way, dignity either
More kids went outside to play in the sunshine and make mud pies and daisy chains than those were inside with the latest gaming console?
Teachers were allowed to comfort kids when they hurt themselves instead of needing to just look as they do now, because they fear allegations of inappropriate behaviour regardless of the circumstances?
A doctor would come to your house to see someone because they were too ill to get out of bed?
Fresh fruit and vegetables looked and tasted just like what they were meant to?
Fast food was fish and chips as a treat on Friday night rather than the whole fucking menu plan?
People held doors open for others when they were but a few steps behind them?
People would stand for a pregnant woman to have a seat?
Young people would help elderly people rather than poke fun and laugh at them?
People wore their pants above their arse crack?
When you could understand what the singers words were, and they played actual music as opposed to doof doof doof!
I remember all of the above, and damn, how nice it would be should we have the ability to get them back.
I’m tired, I’m cranky, I need a holiday and I’m just fucking over it.
I guess it shows huh?

Where does my heart lay, that was the question

anonymum — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:35:30 +0000

As you’re aware I’ve been almost in limbo for close to a week, while I made my mind up about the blogs.
No more limbo, the decision has been made.
The title of my last post was Home is where the heart is, which is the truth.
I needed to work out where my heart lay, and I think I knew all along, it’s here.
At anonymum.com
Maybe I just needed to put it into words, in order for clarity to prevail?
For many, many reasons this domain is so very special to me.
It lies close to my heart for personal reasons, it lays close to my heart because of how it came about, and it lays close to my heart because this is the first place that was mine.

As of tonight {in about 10 mins} ozmoesis will go into maintenance mode until I decide whether to use it or redirect it.
I’ve imported all the posts here already.
I have several ideas that I could use it for, one of which is giving it to Mark {an idea he floated BTW, not me}
Well, maybe not floated as such, it was more that he made a facetious remark about having 2 domains and it made me think {wonder if he remembers the other 19 domains I own???? let’s not remind him ok??}
I thank each of you for your input.
I thank each of you for gracing my humble abode with your comments, and the time you take to click the link regardless of my absence at your own blog of late.
The time has come to get anonymum.com back to where it was when I left it {something I should NEVER have done}
A page rank of 5 and an Alexa rank in the high 100,000s.
It will take some time, I know that, but for many reasons, that’s where it should be, if for nothing else than to thank the people who set me on this strange journey we call blogging, and to give thanks for the wonderful people it’s bought into my life.
I can guarantee, YOU’RE one of them.
Plus, I can guarantee I know of at least 2 huge smiles when they see this post.
I would appreciate it if you could change the URL.
I’ll be back at some point over the weekend with a post.
Have NFI what it will be, but as per usual, I’ll manage to pull something out of my arse….