OrganiSed Chaos » Blogfodder

Give the Muslim a medal

anonymum — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 08:41:33 +0000

I didn’t want to leave it till Monday to post again, but had NFI what to post because my brain is a soggy mess after this week.
EOM and all that shit tends to make me feel like I’ve done a few rounds in the boxing ring with someone 87 times my size is the problem.
Anyhow, I was trawling through the 000’s of unread items in my news folder just now and found what I though was a great little story.
Let me preface this by saying I’m the least racist person in the world.
Yes, I’m opinionated, loud, and at times obnoxious, but at the same time I’m ordinarily non racist.
Live and let live I say.
Your beliefs are different to mine, I don’t give a damn, just don’t try and shove it down my throat, but don’t send suicide bombers or planes into places that will kill innocents either.
That kind if of pisses me off and gives me a somewhat disenchanted view of your beliefs.
Having said that, if there were more of these types of people in your religion, I could be tempted to take a little more notice of you.
Thought I would leave this up for the weekend, and I’ll be back with Malarky Monday…on Monday!
Have a fabulous weekend people.

Ain’t this the truth!

anonymum — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 09:10:46 +0000

On Facebook, there’s a little bit of fun going around.
This is what it said:

Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this as your status and the FIRST entry for your name under comments.

So I did.
It’s not often I do them, but after seeing what mine said, I had to!!
This was my result:

Female name usually given to someone Irish or an Irish wanna-be. Most Maureens are smart, stubborn and memorable. A Maureen will leave you exhausted for days. You won’t forget your first Maureen, ever.

I nearly wet myself laughing and thought I should share it with you.
Go.
Check out your name and come tell me all about you!!

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 04:00:40 +0000

This week Malarky Monday is brought to you by the Christmas fairy.

He may not be a happy Christmas fairy, but he is a Christmas fairy all the same.
Also, we have a guest appearance for you to giggle over!
DILLIGAF has graciously agreed to join the mayhem that is MM, and has an absolute blinder for us!
I nearly bloody choked when I heard this, and it gives the 12 days of Christmas a whole new meaning, trust me!
Please be warned though.
This is strictly adult content.
Do NOT have your kids around when you play this video
As always we have the other contributors to MM in Mark, ~m, Grimm and {maybe} Muffy.
Onto my small contribution to the madness we all hope makes you at least smile, and if we’re extra lucky, we’ll hear a damned good belly laugh.
Given Christmas is almost upon us, I’ll stick with the seasonal snippets because there are just so many of them around.
Trying to pick the ones to post was my problem, and I can only hope you enjoy them.
To start with, the only word for this is awesome!
It’s bloody well done, so take the time to have a look.
{Thanks Pam!}

The obligatory funnies are next.

Check your arse princess

anonymum — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:11:51 +0000

There is nothing worse than spotting a suspicious looking mark on someone’s butt as they’re walking in front of you!
No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot take your eyes away!
It’s impossible!
As horrified as you are, still you watch as it rolls and moves with their arse, all while the person in question is blissfully unaware of your scrutiny.
If you’re anything like me, you would fully understand the temptation to tap them on the shoulder and say “Do you know you have skiddies???”, if for nothing but your own amusement!
The entire situation is made worse when said suspicious spot is on an arse the size of a small third world country!
Then it seems to take on a life of it’s own, jiggling and jumping all over the place, almost taunting you.
I mean hell, it has so much room to move, it’s almost like it stretches itself out!
The absolute nightmare scenario here is when the spot looks like a wet one!
OMFG, the horrific thoughts that enter my head??
Thoughts that struggle to stay in my head and not come out of my mouth!!
Do me a favour if you would?
For the love of pete, check your arse before you leave the house?
You just never know when I may be behind you!!

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 04:00:32 +0000

I’ve been conspicuously absent from the blogosphere this week, I know.
I was supposed to do a Tuesday post, which is done, but here it is Monday {again} already, and it never got published.
{sorry Lolly}
It’s been end of month at work, house guests have been in residence and I’ve all of a sudden lost a week!
Sheesh!
Wednesday is another day however, so there is hope for me yet!
In the mean time, it’s Malarky Monday time.
My internet hero is Maxine.
She makes sense to me.
Calls it as she sees it, and is as funny as hell.
Being the fan I am, I decided to go looking for some classic Maxine, and I was quite successful, as you will see below.
There are reasons for the ones I selected.
It was a long week the last one, and most nights I felt every single second of my 52 years.
The first one is for my American friends, with whom I have an enormous alliance, and as they know, have almost as great a love of their country as I do my own, so if it worries you, imagine an Aussie flag in there ok?
The computer one is quite appropriate too, given my absence.
So, please, enjoy, and once you’ve had a giggle here, don’t forget to visit my Monday Malraky cohorts in Mark, ~m and Muffy.
All 3 will have some little snippets for your amusement as well.
Have a great week, and I’ll be back on Wednesday.

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:00:47 +0000

Don’t Mondays come around with startling speed?
It seems like only yesterday we offered up the mayhem that is Malarky Monday, and here we are again with more for you.
For those who are new here, Malarky Monday is the creation of 4 mad bloggers.
Myself, Mark, Michael and Muffy.
For your amusement, each week we will present to you just some of the amusing snippets we found around the internet the previous week.
It might be rude, crude and utterly uncouth, or it could simply be side splitting, but be aware, whatever it is, the object is to make you laugh.
If we make you spit on your monitor, that’s just a bonus!

These are the things that tickled our little fancies, and the 4 of us SO enjoy having our fancies tickled is the big thing!

Now for anyone who is a regular here, you will know last week was quite the time for me at work, so, in light of those events, the bulk of this weeks malarky is inspired by those responsible for the events I speak of.
The last one is to assure those having a birthday this week {you know who you are} that their age is not quite as bad as they may think
Please enjoy, let me know you’ve been, and remember to go visit my 3 cohorts.
None of them will disappoint, I can assure you.
Always remember.
You can never laugh too much.
Laughing is not only good for the soul, it’s good for your general mood too.
Have a great week people.

Tweety was 60 this week, and life has been hard it would seem…

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:00:07 +0000

It’s time for our second offering in the madness that is Malarky Monday.
That day of the week when we try to make you smile {or even howl with laughter} at the little tit bits that tickled our little fancies through the last week.
For the last few days I’ve been trawling thousands of pics for an elusive header graphic to fit into a new blog.
This has required much time, every category known to man and an enormous amount of frustration, however, on the positive side, it’s provided with me enough Malarky Monday fodder, to take me well into the next century!
Here a merely a few little bits that took my fancy amid the madness that was much of my weekend.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
This first one was particularly appropriate for last week. I have the feeling it will be fitting this week too!

I knew we had a few difference with our American cousins, but this is taking it a bit far.

WTF?

This amused me simply because of it’s honesty!

Some more Malarky can be found at Marks, Michael’s, and Muffy’s, so be sure to have a look.
Have a fabulous week, and remember.
Don’t lose that smile!

the sky is falling…

anonymum — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 05:30:03 +0000

The sky has started to fall apparently, so if this keeps up we’ll all be feeling like Chicken Little…then again, given that is was green, maybe the aliens have simply decided they need a new sewerage dump??

Look out!!!

the cheeseburger…

anonymum — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:51:31 +0000

Anonypop and I went out on Saturday night. We rarely venture out after dark, more because we can’t be bothered than for any other reason.
Anyhow, Zoe was having our inherited granddaughter at home for a sleep over and a footy final was on so he decides we’ll go to the local club to watch it on the big screen so he’s not having to watch around the girls. Fair call says I, so off we go.
He’s watching footy, I’m playing the pokies (not winning, but playing) Come the end of the night (closing time, 1.00am, footy has been over for hours, but beer was still being served) Poppy has had COPIOUS amounts of alcohol, I’m the designated driver. Now i shit you not, following is the conversation in the car on the way home (you need to slur a bit as you’re reading this, every time it says HE)
He: You hungry
Me: Not really
He: Let’s shtop at chew and spew (Maccas)
Me: You hungry?
He: No, i jush want to get 4 double beef and bacon burgers
Me: For someone that’s not hungry that’s a shit load of burgers darl!
He: 1 for me and 3 for Jake (Jake’s the fucking dog!!)
Me: Say what???
He: He’ll be hungry he’sh not been fed
Me:What in the name of all that’s holy makes you think Kelly wouldn’t have fed the dog?
He: She might have forgotten!
Me: You know she won’t have forgotten, why don’t you just admit you’re hungry??
He: I’m not…well, maybe a little bit
Me: Ok, we’ll stop.
(Get to chew and spew, line is out of the damned car park, the only thing open is the drive through)
He: FUCK THAT!!!
Me: Ok, home then?
He: No!! The local all nighter will be open, we’ll get him a cheeseburger there!!
Me: If you think I’m stopping at the bloody shop to get the damned dog a frozen fucking cheeseburger and going home and putting in the microwave at 1 o’clock in the morning, you’re wrong darl!!!
He: YOU’RE A BAD MOTHER!!!
Me: (trying not to run off the road) A bad MOTHER??
He: He LIKESH cheeseburgers!!!!
Me: I am NOT stopping!!
He: Fine, when I get home I’m telling him you don’t love him asmush as I do. I WANTED to shtop and YOU wouldn’t let me!!!
Me: Goodo darl (as I sail past the local shop, around the corner and into the driveway)
He gets (read almost falls) out, opens the gate, the dog arrives.
He: Your mother wouldn’t stop Jake! I wanted to, SHE wouldn’t (whilst almost on his hands and knees at the dogs level and in his most indignant, aggrieved tone, you can almost hear him down the damed block) I REALLY REALLY wanted to and SHE wouldn’t…SHE’S A BAD MOTHER!!!!
Me: (through the open window) Can you and the prodigal bloody dog move so i can get in the damned carport???
He: (moving out of the way) SHE wouldn’t shtop Jake!!! it wash HER!!! Not me!!!
(Put car in carport, lock it up, and go inside, shaking head.)
He: (still almost on hands and knees at the dogs level) It’s ok mate, I’LL give you something to eat.
With that he goes inside, and as god is my witness, COOKS and gives the damned dog crumpets with melted cheese on top!!
Did I get a cup of tea? Did I get a crumpet with cheese on top? Nope. The WHOLE time he’s cooking the dogs bloody supper he’s muttering “Bad mother she is Jake! Wouldn’t shtop and get you a cheeseburger!!” (Was STILL muttering as we got into bed)
And people wonder why I blog!!!! (at least oz won the footy i guess, so that was ONE win for the night)
(still love you sweetie) :-)

who proof read this???

anonymum — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 04:33:58 +0000

I want to know who proof read this article…whoever it was didn’t think too hard about the statement made in the second paragraph. Given the nature of the story you would think someone may have thought to change the wording???
Unless it’s a strange way of saying they were “fornicating” as they so quaintly put it further on in the story, (if indeed that’s what it refers to…)

Hot spot

It’s a shocker :shock: