OrganiSed Chaos » amusing diversions

Malarkey Monday {for the Grinch in all of you}

anonymum — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 04:00:20 +0000

There are some who do the BAH HUMBUG! thing at Christmas.
Not mentioning any names though, you all know who you are.

So, in the spirit of the Grinch, for MM this week, I have a few little Christmassy notes you can jot down and refer to when you’re doing your shopping, a couple of jpegs that took my fancy, and are certainly not in the spirit of Christmas, plus a little surprise at the bottom.
Once you’re done here, don’t forget to visit my fellow funsters in Mark, ~m, Muffy and Grimm.
Now, without further ado, we’re off to the races!
Shopping list:
1. A bottle of wHine is a great last minute gift for those who are constantly at it
2. If you have a brain explosion and decide to buy that C class benz with the huge red ribbon for someone, get them the cute ribbon collared puppy as well. With a bit of luck it will shit on the drivers seat.
3. When people ask what you want for Christmas, tell them you want everyone to stop asking dumb arsed questions.
4. For the one relative who seems to always expect the perfect gift, a giant bottle of disappointment will be sure to have them crying in their wHine. After all, an expectation does invite a disappointment
5. The ultimate gift however is the huge meltdown that always seems to happen on Christmas eve because of the pressure. You can give that one to yourself! You’ve earned it after all the shit you’ve been through in the last 2 weeks.

These 2 pics had me chuckling to myself, and I can only hope they amuse you as well.

These final ones are for those people who think Christmas holds nothing but crap, cos neither of these are crap, trust me!

Halloween

anonymum — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 03:37:14 +0000

Reminds me of some people I know!

People who need to get a life and build bridges…
Ordinarily I’m not much into Halloween, but in honor of some very good friends of mine, I though I would make an effort this year.
I hope all and sundry enjoy whatever little bit of fun they’re having.

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:00:06 +0000

Yep, it’s Monday again.
The time of the week when we try an give you a little lift after the first bitchin’ day of the week.
Now, I have an odd sense of humor.
I’m one of those who actually DO think it’s funny when old people fall over or some little kid comes a gutser off their bike and skins every visible part of them.
I was trawling that wondrous site You Tube earlier this week and came across this video.
The minute I watched it, I knew it was destined for the blog.
Once you’ve had a look, don’t forget to visit my cohorts in Mark, ~m and Muffy who are sure to have some more little tit bits to tickle you fancy.
As I always say.
You simply cannot have your fancy tickled too much.

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:00:47 +0000

Don’t Mondays come around with startling speed?
It seems like only yesterday we offered up the mayhem that is Malarky Monday, and here we are again with more for you.
For those who are new here, Malarky Monday is the creation of 4 mad bloggers.
Myself, Mark, Michael and Muffy.
For your amusement, each week we will present to you just some of the amusing snippets we found around the internet the previous week.
It might be rude, crude and utterly uncouth, or it could simply be side splitting, but be aware, whatever it is, the object is to make you laugh.
If we make you spit on your monitor, that’s just a bonus!

These are the things that tickled our little fancies, and the 4 of us SO enjoy having our fancies tickled is the big thing!

Now for anyone who is a regular here, you will know last week was quite the time for me at work, so, in light of those events, the bulk of this weeks malarky is inspired by those responsible for the events I speak of.
The last one is to assure those having a birthday this week {you know who you are} that their age is not quite as bad as they may think
Please enjoy, let me know you’ve been, and remember to go visit my 3 cohorts.
None of them will disappoint, I can assure you.
Always remember.
You can never laugh too much.
Laughing is not only good for the soul, it’s good for your general mood too.
Have a great week people.

Tweety was 60 this week, and life has been hard it would seem…

DILLIGAF

anonymum — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 03:21:57 +0000

A new blog has hit the blogosphere!
Yes, I’m involved.
Heavily.
It came about because, as it transpired, I had a spare hosting account, so I thought I shouldn’t let it go to waste.
If noone else wanted it, then I was going to make use of it.
To do anything else would have been just silly, wouldn’t it?
Anyhow.
I had a spare domain, so myself, Burnie and the golden boy decided to create DILLIGAF.
There may even be the odd blonde post! Who knows???
Having said that, if you feel the burning need to say something away from your place, please use the contact form and tell us.
Everyone will post under the one name, so other than those who run the blog, noone will have any idea who said what!

It’s going to be VERY politically incorrect, plus it will be rude, crude and utterly uncouth at times.
There will also be some serious subjects, fabulous music and the odd interesting opinion on the so called evolved thinking of being “PC”, which I have no doubt pisses most of you off, the same as it does the rest of us.
Please wander over and have a look, and if the fancy takes you, feel free to blogroll us.
We do know it won’t be to everyone’s taste, and we can live with that, but we also know that now and then a forum is required where you can let your hair down, and say some of the things you don’t feel suit the overall tone of your regular blog.
That’s me, I’m off to do some baking for the afternoon.
I hope your weekend is treating you well.
I know mine is.

Malarky Monday

anonymum — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:00:38 +0000

Monday can be a shit of day, we all know that.
I think it’s being the first day of the working week is why {only my opinion}
I know on a Monday night I seem to drag my arse home more than any other day of the week.
If ever I’m going to be 120% knackered as opposed to 100% knackered, it’s Monday.
Myself, Michael, Mark and Muffy {aka Blondie} decided we would make an effort to get smiles from all of you on a Monday night, so we’ll band together each week and present to you {drum roll please}…
Malarky Monday!!!
It won’t be a lot, just a little something from each of us, that tickled our fancy over the course of the week, and we all love having our fancies tickled, as you can well imagine!

Without further dribble, here’s my first offering, plus, to find out what tickled our other participants, click their names above, and prepare to be tickled yourself!
We hope it brightens your week just a little.

Meanwhile, back at the Cape…

anonymum — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 22:29:35 +0000

Tonto, disguised as a door, was having his knob pulled.
Nah. Just kidding!
It’s an oldie but a goodie though.

Now we’re over the little speed hump with Lucas, tis time to be getting back to our little adventure.
So.
Once all attendees were in residence, it was time for some fun and games.
Now, as most would agree, games are best played whilst imbibing in the odd alcoholic beverage <----- read shit loads of whatever you fancy.
Picture 2 mad Australians trying to teach some crazy Americans how to play that Saturday night favourite, Celebrity Head, throw lots of alcohol in the mix, and you have just one night of mayhem with all of us at the house!
Please remember here, there are 5 people who have never even heard of the game, most of whom are well on the way to being rather pissed, 2 people trying to explain the idea and rules of said game, who were even more pissed, we’re still waiting on the didg to be delivered, so I’m somewhat frigging antsy, the only thing we have to stick on people’s heads are post it notes, and it’s bloody dark, so noone can see a damned thing, with me seeing the least, because I’m night blind.
The last little point necessitated the use of a torch so we could see who had what name on their forehead.
A few of them nearly had their eyes sucked out by said torch, cos the aim of those holding the torch was a little impaired!
Sounds like a hoot, right?
Oh, it was a fucking hoot I can assure you!
The girls chose not to participate, so they were given the task of choosing the names to be used in this mad cap little evening around the fire pit.
And what names they chose too!
Damn they did well, given we needed names that everyone would recognise, not only American or Aussie ones.
Here is just a small taste of the names they chose:
Princess Diana <--- Mark got her, his very least favourite person in the world!
John Lennon <--- Took me forever to get this one right!
Michael Jackson <--- The timing on this was brilliant we thought
Paris Hilton <--- Evyl got this one! Too funny when you see the size of this small man mountain!!
The Grim Reaper <--- Me! Yeah thanks for that one girls!
Michael Murphy <--- Yep, Michael got himself, and one of his questions was “Am I gay?” How tempted were we to say yes???
Elvis Presley <--- Joyce was flummoxed for quite a while on this one
The Tooth Fairy <--- A gender question sparked a 10 min debate on whether the fairy is male or female. It was decided female BTW
Marilyn Monroe <--- Michael again, and his excitement when he found out he was not only blonde, but had nice boobs, was something to behold!
JFK <— This in the same round as Marilyn Monroe. You can well imagine the hints being thrown around!
We gave hints after 3 questions had been asked, otherwise we would have been there all night.
{Came close to that anyway I think!}
The hints were, at times, better than the actual game, and there was much laughter, with quite a few debates on the validity of answers given to questions.
There were many more names, and many more rounds, more laughter than you could poke a stick at, and it was a brilliant night overall.
For the life of me I can’t remember who was who other than those I’ve mentioned above, so if any of the said participants read this, please fill me in?
I was after all, pretty pissy at the time!!
I guess 8 or 9 bourbons will do that to you though??
This game was such a hit in the states that at a recent 16th birthday party it was played, so to all you Aussies, know that this was just one small way of educating people on the madness that is part of being Australian, and it would seem we were quite successful.
For a 16 year old to play one of our games at her birthday party tells me it was well received!
My next post on the wonderful time we had will be about another game.
The Redneck Game of Life.
You think we had fun with Celebrity Head, well this one was just as good, I can assure you!

I have too much time on my hands I think

anonymum — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 12:42:13 +0000

I’ve had quite the relaxing {read LAZY} weekend.
Done what I needed to do, had a couple of Skype calls, spoken to 2 daughters and made a regular weekly phone call to the states.
After all these were accomplished, I decided to wander around the net, stumbling at will, but I got sick of it.
Decided to come back here and check my spam bucket.
Do you have any idea how many people are trying to hawk naked pics of Myley Cyrus?
Dozens of the bastards.
What the hell they think I want with them I have no freaking idea, but they seem to think I’m quite keen.
At this point I would like to assure you, I AM NOT.
Nor do I have any desire for videos of women or men being raped, school girls in a gang bang, or men having sex with each other, however some of the drugs on offer could come in handy for an upcoming overseas flight, being the bad flier that I am.
I wandered over to Facebook after cleaning out the filth in my spam.
I am now officially hooked on FARKLE and Farmtown.
{Like I need any more obsessions??}
F**king FARKLE will be the death of me.
After muttering f**king FARKLE quite a few times {a girl can only take so many first roll FARKLES!!} I decided to click the link of a quiz that someone else did.
Fatal mistake!
I ended up doing 6 of those inane damned things!
WTF??
Yeah. Too much time on my hands for sure.
I need to get a life I think.
I was going to attempt some visits and comments, but I don’t think it’s gonna happen.
Been a long time since I got out of bed, and it’s not nearly long enough till the alarm.
Hope your weekend has treated you well.
Happy Fathers day to all Dads in the northern hemisphere too.
Just because they celebrate on a different day to us doesn’t make the day any less special now does it?

Evyl is IN the house!

anonymum — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:49:23 +0000

As you all know, I have a rolling post happening.
Everybody has done extra good, even those who thought they may struggle {I include myself in there BTW..many things I am, a writer I am not!}
Anyhow, we all did our little bit, when were required to, and as I said, we got through.
Then came Annie.
Annie decided we needed a little shaking up, and shake us up she did!
Man what a twist!
Noone saw it coming…at all!
She picked it up by the scruff of the neck and shook the life out of it.
Having done that, she then passed it to the person most people sweat on any time he’s involved.
Yes, it’s true…Evyl is IN the house!!
As is his way, he’s also taken this little tale of ours and given us a twist that is indeed, purefnevyl!
Whislt everyone may be fascinated with the way in whch our last 2 contributors have taken us, please feel for the person who has need to follow them!
Cowgalutah is the unfortunate soul who was next to comment after Annie than Evyl, so she has the unenviable task of the next chapter.
Having said that, there is no doubt in my mind she will deal with it admirably, and knows we’ll be waiting with bated breath for what i sure to be a blinding chapter in our wonderous drama.
You go girl!
{I’ve added the Evyl ones contribution to the page along with everyones elses}

Starting to roll

anonymum — Sat, 23 May 2009 22:16:16 +0000

The time has come to start rolling along my pretty’s.
This is how it’s gonna work.
I’m first followed by:
Blondie
Widdle Shamrock
The Mistress
Cris
Anja
Annie
Evyl
Cowgal
Burnie
Who does the final chapter is to be decided in one of 2 ways.
Either a challenge will be accepted, or it will go to a vote.
We’ll talk more about that when the time comes.
So, Blondie, you take my bit from here {read copy and paste} and do the following:
Add yours to it
Email it to me
Pass it to the next person on the list via a post on your blog, with a link to his/her blog.
If each person does it this way, we’ll have continuity as well.
The one thing I would ask is that you do your part within a couple of days if that’s not too mcuh trouble? Just makes it easier and keeps thing rolling, yes?
There are 11 of us in this, so we maybe need to keep it to 10 – 12 lines each.
Having said that, if someone is on a roll, then far be it for me to stop them hey???
It’s not too late to join in either. Leave me a comment, or shoot me an email via the contact form, and I’ll add you to the list.
Equally, if I’ve managed to confuddle anyone, please say so.

Anyway, the time has come for me to kick this thing off, so let’s be moving along.

He stepped from the plane into the crowded airport, the face of who he was seeking, fixed firmly in his mind.
He had seen it numerous times, but knew, even if it had been revealed only once, it was a face he would never forget.
How could he ever forget the face of the person repsonsible for the single most painful experience of his life?
The devestation it had created was an event he would not allow himself to forget.
He was driven to not only find her, but make her suffer the way he had. Ensure she experienced the total overwhelming feeling that had been his constant companion for more than 10 years.
The hopelessness, anguish and feeling of loss, all of which kept him awake, or haunted his dreams, turning every night into a tortuous time to be dreaded, in every waking moment…….

Blondie, you’re up!