While we were in America, or more specifically down the Cape, we played a few games.
I already went through Celebrity Heads for you, and that was an absolute hoot.
Being 3/4 pissed probably helped I’ll admit, but anyone who’s played it knows it’s enormous fun, drunk or sober, and let’s be honest, what is there that can’t be enhanced with a few drinks???
I digress…sorry!
Our very own Evyl one bought a board game with him.
Now, I quite like some board games, but lots of them are bland.
Boring.
Rather watch paint dry, you know?
Not this one!
The Redneck Game of Life was an absolute pisser!
The ultimate object of the game is to be the one with the most teeth at the end.
I shit you not!
You have to be the one with the most teeth when everyone is finished.
Just to add to the fun, Mr & Mrs Evyl had a prize for the winner, so we were all agog as to what THAT could be too!
You roll 2 die to determine your level of education, which in turn determines what type of job you get, which then determines how much money you earn, and of course, as in real life, that determines how well you live as far a house, car etc, go.
It also determines your redneck name of course!
Billy Bob, Martha Sue, Betty fucking Boo, there were some blinders!
And do NOT get me started on the logistics of having 6 children all with the same name either!
Now whilst I can’t recall the exact levels of living, let me tell you, some of them are pretty damned low!
Most of us ended up around mid range, and even that was hard.
The debts you accumulate are quite staggering, if somewhat exaggerated at times.
As you progress through the game, you also accumulate children.
Yes, children.
You can end up divorced, remarried, adopting children, and, at times, social services can step in and take them.
There are communal cards that can be good or bad, sort of like the Chance and Community chest in Monopoly.
Some can be kept until needed, and then passed onto someone else.
When they’re passed on, it can set you back quite a bit.
You can steal someone else’s car, be made give your car to someone else {and some of the cars just something to behold let me add here!!} be made take someone else’s children because they can’t feed them, all while trying not to get a card that made you lose a fucking tooth!
Suffice to say it’s pretty much life as it actually is, but in a far different way to what I’m used to I can assure you!
It would be hard to tell you exactly how much fun we all had.
We laughed, we swore, we called each other names, and the whole time we were fighting to keep every single fucking tooth we had!!!
The game time was quite long because there were so many of us, but damn we had some fun!
In the end, everything was added up, taken away, calculated and with one person left to finish and calculate, I was ahead by a country mile, and quite excited I was too.
The best laid plans of mice and men, though.
Pamela, God love her little blonde soul, had other ideas and came streaking home to win the game.
I thought I was safe with 21 teeth, but no, damn her, she ended up with 25, which was quite the feat given the nature of the game!
Now, to the prize.
With great care, Joyce went to their room and came back with a pretty little stone.
“Pam, this is your prize. It’s a genuine Indian love stone, from Texas!”
“Oh my, how pretty and interesting, but what exactly is an Indian love stone”
Joyce {bless her}:
“Well, it’s just another fucking rock of course!!”
Do yourself a favour should you ever see this game in a store.
Buy it, because you could spend some endless hours of fun playing it!
We have our eyes open for it, but may need to attack Amazon I think, and I’m keeping my eyes peeled for one of those Indian love stones too!!
