OrganiSed Chaos

Monday mayhem is about to begin once again.
I won’t go on too much this week, other than to say, do yourself a favor and watch this.
I’m a bit of a closet Muppets fan, I am a HUGE Queen fan, and Bohemian Rhapsody is one of my all time favourite songs.
{I think I like it because trying to imagine the cocktail of drugs there were on is so much fun! }
When I came across this I howled with laughter so hard I nearly wet myself, and, of course, my first thought was MM.
This is just too good not to share with everyone.
Settle in for the ride, and once you’re done, don’t forget to visit my fellow malarkiers {is that actually a word??}
Mark, ~m, Muffy and Grimm

After being in America for 2 weeks, Mark and I both came back carrying a few extra kilos {read more than is good for us}
The food was so damned good, and plentiful, it was bloody hard to say no.
So we just said yes!!!
What can I say??
Anyhow, Mel and Steve started this diet, which is not dissimilar to the Atkins diet, but not as rigid.
As it’s working well for them, I told Mark about the basics and he was more than agreeable, which was quite surprising actually, because he’s never been big on anything I’ve suggested before.
I’ve always struggled to get him to agree on a diet because most of them are based on eating very little and have quite rigid guidelines.
Plus he loves his bread and beer, which has always been a stumbling block.
Trying to get him to give up these things would be like finding rocking horse shit.
Impossible!
I prefer to think of this as a life style change as opposed to a diet anyway.
Diet is one of those 4 lettered words that don’t sit well with me if the truth be known.
You hear the word diet and automatically think of lettuce leaves and carrots I find.
The one I refer to is based on few carbs, little sugar, and lots of protein.
Now, with the influx of low carb, low sugar boutique beers on the market these days, beer has turned out to not be the problem it has in the past.
Taste is not compromised as is generally the way with these things, so we’ve managed to find one that follows the guidelines, and he normally has one with dinner of a night.
He’s happy with that.
We get one day off a week when we can eat or drink anything we want to, however that means nothing but protein the next day.
Meat, bacon, eggs, chicken, fish, whatever, so long as it’s protein.
Limited portions yes, but more than enough to keep us satisfied.
Even if we have a little more than we should, it doesn’t hurt because it’s protein.
A normal day consists of protein portions and snacks, plus unlimited salad and vegies.
Given you need to have 2 protein snacks a day, some days it seems like all you do is eat.
Breakfast was my biggest worry.
I just don’t do the food thing until I’ve been up for at least 2 hours, so that was quite the challenge for me.
Now that I’m used it though, it’s no chore at all, and I quite enjoy it.
The delicatessen people see me coming and draw straws to determine who is going to serve me however.
Whoever gets the short one cops me and my requests.
You see, I have all cold meat portions done at that point to save me having to do them at home!
Given I need, some weeks, 10 servings for lunches, by the time I leave, they’re ready to throw a party!
Tuna, salmon and crab meat have become firm friends, as have steak, fresh fish and chicken.
I’m amazed at the ways vegies can be mixed and matched, and zucchini, capsicum, onion, tomatoes, garlic and chili are things that go so well together, I could eat them every night.
Salads also are unlimited, and we love salad as well, so it’s all good.
We even get to have a piece of bread in the morning, or a piece of fruit, pus our protein of course.
Mark is doing well because he can still have the odd beer, knows he can have bread, plus lots of meat.
Being a butchers son, he was bought up eating lots of meat, so he’s loving it!
In fact his determination has surprised even me, and last week he cleaned out the fridge and freezer of all the “naughty” things because he is so determined.
The results thus far?
Mark approx 8 kgs {18 lbs before you head to the conversion chart}
Me, around 5.5 kgs {12lbs}
Well worth the time and effort let me say.
Hope your weekend is treating you well, and don’t be forgetting Malarky Monday tomorrow.
I have one of Youtubes latest sensations for you, and it’s a blinder!

In light of Christmas only being a month away, I thought the time was right to put up my choice of seasonal themes for the year.
I didn’t want anything too fancy and this one suited my idea of simple.
Most Christmas themes incorporate snow, and Santas {which are not the main reason for the season} but here in Oz we don’t see snow in the summer, so I thought it would have been out of place.
Trying to find something with an Aussie flavor proved impossible, so I went for simple decorations in the header.
Decorations are, after all, something that everyone has regardless of the season.
Please feel free to pass judgment.
I do like feedback.
In the new year, there will be more change as well.
By the time January 1st is here, I want not only a new blog name, but a new tagline.
You heard it here first.
The nook will be no more, nor will I be on the edge.
This may came as a surprise to some people, given I haven’t breathed a word about it to a living soul, not even Mark, but the time is right I believe.
After 3 years, the time for change has come.
I have no idea what the new name, or the tagline will be, but I have intentions of consulting a few people who know me best.
Those who understand me, know what makes me tick, and have an idea of what is important to me.
For the 3 people who still read here, please feel free to contribute.
Any and all suggestions are welcome, so don’t be shy.
If you do have an idea, there is a contact form to use, or you may already have my email address, so don’t hold back.
If you think you have a good idea, say so.
I’m quite open minded about it, however it would be nice to have an Aussie flavor.
Ultimately it may not take that road should something really grab me, so whilst I believe it would be good, it’s not vital.
As the title says, changes are happening.

ETA: The domain will stay the same, only the blog name and tagline will be different.
Once I decide on a new one that is…

Monday.
Again.
Good God, where do the weeks go is my question.

I no sooner seem to do one of these and it’s time to do another.
Never mind, it actually suits me because I have a couple of reason for time to go quickly {none of which I’m choosing to tell you BTW}
So.
This weeks MM is dedicated to some poor unfortunate people who are, well, unfortunate.
The people I refer to are more accident prone than dicks though.
When someone is a dick they get what they ask for, but these are simply…unfortunate.
As they go about their daily lives, be it at work or play, they find themselves in some interesting situations as you will see below.
Whilst it may be their misfortune, it’s our fortune however, because these are piss funny!”
Screw the Minties moments, I like to refer to them as “Oh shit!!” moments.

Yeah, I’m one of those sickos who actually think it’s funny when old people and kids go arse up in the middle of the street.
In fact I nearly end up laying beside them from laughter because I can hardly breathe.





Ok, I couldn’t help myself, I had to post at least one that’s a dick.
Have a go at this moron!


Once you’re finished chuckling here, trundle off and see my cohorts in Mark, ~m and Muffy, plus…
This week we have a new MM cohort in Grimm.
Now I did think hard about having him join us because after all he does use Blogger and not Wordpress, then decided noone is perfect, so why not?
The more the merrier I always say.

Indeed, the time has come when we make a small attempt to brighten your lives with a little giggle, or, if we’re lucky, a damned good belly laugh.
This week I have a small joke for you in honour of that wonderous time of year we know as Christmas.
Stay with me here, it may not seem like it’s a Christmas joke, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time.
I found a little Christmas image for you as well.
It made me smile and hopefully it will make you do the same.
Once you’re done here wander over and see my co conspirators in Mark, ~m and Muffy for some more Monday mirth.
Boobs and Willies
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?’
The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, a woman goes through three
Phases. In her 20s, a woman’s boobs are like melons, round and firm.
In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50, they are like onions’.
‘Onions?’
‘Yes, you see them and they make you cry.’
This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, ‘Mom, how
Many kinds of ‘willies’ are there?’
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, ‘Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard.
In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree’.
‘A Christmas tree?’
‘Yes — dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration.’

It’s only the middle of November, and already the madness has begun.
Starts happening earlier every year, I know, but hey, when there’s a buck to be made, money grubbing retailers have no scruples, we all know that.
Ads are rife already.
They tell us what children need under the tree, and let me add, it was decided many months ago, what is in for Christmas this year.
Ordinarily, what’s in has a price tag that could feed a 3rd world country for 6 months.
Apparently kids have got to receive it under the tree, or their lives will be forever ruined and in post Christmas months, parents will be forking out for therapy bills the size of a national debt, because the children will feel depraved deprived.
Amidst the madness, why we actually have Christmas is lost, that’s the sad part.
I’m not an overly religious person, but the meaning behind Christmas is certainly not lost on me, not by anyone’s standards.
This year we’re going to Victoria.
We’ll spend 5 days with family we don’t see nearly enough of, we’ll eat, drink and be merry, but before we go I have things to do, and buy.
Yes, we’ll leave presents behind for those we’re not spending the holidays with, but there are other presents to buy as well.
For many, many years, I’ve bought gifts for people less fortunate than us, and I put them under the Wishing Tree, and in fact, until about 3 years ago, Mark didn’t even know I do it.
As our family has been blessed, and grown with grandchildren, the amount of gifts I put under the tree has also grown.
For every grandchild we have, I put a present under the tree.
This year there are 8 presents to be bought and wrapped.
Our grandchildren are lucky to have been born into a close knit {albeit somewhat disfunctional} family, and are surrounded by people who love and cherish them, but many are not so lucky as we all know.
Before we board our plane on December 23rd, I will have purchased the following gifts.
2 for 9 year old girls
1 for a 7 year old boy
2 for 6 year old boys
1 for an almost 3 year old boy
1 for an almost 2 year old girl
1 for a baby boy, a year or less old
I have no idea of who they will go to, but I’ll buy them all the same.
These gifts will be nothing like what’s in this year, nor will they cost a squillion dollars, but I can tell you this.
They will go to children far less fortunate than our grandchildren.
Children who don’t have the advantages every child should have.
Children who were born without the choices I know our grandchildren will have as they grow, and born to parents who are either unable, or unwilling, to do what should be done for every child born.
To me, it’s things like we do every year that Christmas is about.
Thinking of those less fortunate, and making an effort to brighten their lives just a little.
Whilst I detest the commercialisation of Christmas, the thought of any child having nothing on the day, breaks my heart.
Every child deserves at least one gift, even if it’s only a teddy bear.
I tell you this not to have people say “Good on you Maureen!!” but in the hope that they will remember what Christmas is about.
A celebration of life and family and a time to reflect on how lucky some {read Mark and I} are in comparison to many.
As uncharitable as it may be to say this, the retailers can go to hell and shove their what’s in this year gifts clean up their arse, because I want none of it.
I’m trying hard to ignore the madness and merely do what I’ve always done.
Enjoy our family and be bloody grateful for exactly how lucky we are with the family and friends we have, because it’s these people that make the day as good as it can get.
That’s what Christmas is about.
It’s got nothing to do with the garbage sprouted by slimey money grubbing retailers, nor has it got anything to do with how much you spend.
It’s about what you do, and appreciating what, and who, you have in your life, and being grateful for them.
I’m more blessed than I could ever have imagined I would be, and I appreciate it more than I can ever say.
I can but hope there are 8 kids who’s Christmas will be brightened just a little this year too.