The error of my ways
Of late I’ve had some interesting situations at work, to say the least.
I’m a manager.
This, naturally, involves staff who report to me.
As it transpires, the staff in question have several “issues” with me.
These are many and varied, and some are the usual issues most of us have with their boss, but others have been quite bemusing.
One of the various grievances aired in recent days is the tone I use when I ask them to do something.
Please note I said ASK, not tell.
I don’t like being TOLD to do anything, thus I refuse to tell anyone else, so if I need something done, I ask.
Now, my interpretation of a manager is someone who does what needs to be done in order to do their job, picks up the slack should we have someone out sick or on leave, is first in, last out, and if needs be, delegates what would be considered smaller, less important tasks to others when pressed for time.
I’ve been working this way for well over 10 years, and until now it’s always worked, for myself and my staff.
How lucky am I, to now have people who are willing to point out where I’ve been going wrong???
It seems these are the errors of my ways.
I need to speak in a tone that is not short, demeaning, intimidating, nor am I to sound as if I’m becoming impatient should I need to ask for something to be done more than once before it happens.
Quote “We’ll get to it when we have time…”
Apparently I should use a more “gentle” tone.
Under no circumstances am I to take any notice of when they come and go from the office, how long they take for lunch, nor query what they do with their time.
Seems they know what their jobs and times are, and I should be content these things happen as a matter of course.
Having said that, what prompted this raft of grievances was me voicing my dissatisfaction over an incident where one of them stood in the store talking to a former staff member for 40 minutes, so you could forgive me for not taking any comfort in their assurances I have no need to take note of their times.
The best is yet to come however.
I was given a list, yes a list, of the things they think need to happen, in order to make the workplace a warm, fuzzy place.
This list included, but was not limited to, supplying morning tea once or twice a week, where they can down tools and take around 45 mins to an hour, so we could have a group session and air our problems.
I should give them a copy of my job description so as they have a better understanding of why there are times I need to work on weekends. Surely my job can’t be that difficult? {I need to add here, my job description runs to 28 pages!!! You could forgive me for saying it’s something of a complicated position. Please?}
I should let them know where I’m going, what I’m doing and when I’ll be back, should I ever have need to leave the office, because they need to know in case someone rings for me.
There were other little bits and pieces, mainly relating to me, basically, not managing them in any way, shape or form, because {apparently} they know exactly what they need to do, and feel they’ve been there long enough that they should be allowed that freedom.
I shit you not.
This has been my week, and people wonder why I drink?
Wonder no more my friends.
Wonder. no. fucking. more!
Categories: Australia, FFS!, bullshit, life
19 Comments »
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September 18th, 2009 at 8:56 am
I say it’s all bullshit.
I managed an optical branch for a number of years early in my working life.Someone was always pissing and moaning about something.
I’m a pretty laid back person,but I also had a job with a lot of responsibility. Work is work.A manager is hired to make sure the work is done and the employees are productive.
I was fortunate to work with some nice people but there were a few who didn’t get it.The good employees didn’t need tea and love sessions.They just did what needed to be done.It wouldn’t be called work if it wasn’t work.
Hang in there- They should be happy to have a job and make a decent wage with great benefits.Tell them(Ask them) to go shit in a hat.
September 18th, 2009 at 9:03 am
Your comments always make me take notice, because what you say makes so much sense, but this one destroyed me.
Tell them(Ask them) to go shit in a hat.
Love it! Just love it!
September 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
Holy hell, are you shitting me?!!! Why not remind the ungrateful bitches (surely these have to be women, not men) they are lucky to have any fucking job at all in this economy.
People are losing their jobs, their cars, their homes, …. these bitches want fucking tea?
You can have a nice bunch of apples but a few moldy ones fuck up the whole lot. I have 1/2 a mind to fly there and punch these people square in the face. Tell them to put on their big girl panties and get back to fucking work!
September 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Shit in their hat and put it back on their head!
September 18th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
I shit you not, this is exactly what they said. The other “big” complaint was me using post it notes and leaving things in their in trays.
Apparently it makes them feel less than a person {quote, unquote}
September 18th, 2009 at 7:44 pm
Then they really would be shit for brains hey??
September 18th, 2009 at 7:52 pm
I have some major pent up frustration here because I work in an office full of barracudas and all the politically correct BS needs to stop. You have a job, just do your fucking job. Nobody has to put sugar sprinkles on their request! They are getting paid. I see this here too. It’s at it’s worst when all the little dribble’s gang up on their manager- you’ve got complete mutiny!
I hope you don’t let these little bottom dwellers get the best of you. Relax, focus- focus on how to fuck them over now. Hard core. Tattling is just the worst!
Or you could always try to sing some lullaby’s to the babies?
September 18th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Oh, btw- POST IT NOTES IN AN OFFICE? That’s cah-ray-zay talk! Those don’t belong there!
September 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Oh these are some pieces of work, let me tell you.
I had a bit of a melt down mid week, but I’m alright now. My natural determination has jumped up again….
September 18th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
One question: are they small children or adult employees?
I’ll quote a famous Australian – They need to ‘Harden the fuck up!’
Anal retentive is also coming to mind.
Christ in a sidecar . . . .
~m
September 18th, 2009 at 8:39 pm
I agree on all counts my friend…they are {supposedly} adults, but i have some serious doubts….
September 18th, 2009 at 9:08 pm
So they want to know where you are at all times, for how long and why you are going… but you can’t question any of their movements?
See this is why I gave up management after 5 years, fucken idiots. Customers are stupid but at least they come and go and you don’t have to see them on your breaks.
September 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Yep, you got it…
I’ll be damned if I intend letting them get the better of me though…they will comply, or they can find another fucking job is the bottom line….
September 18th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
You go girl !! You could always play office celebrity heads with those post it notes!I can think of some really good things to write on them but I will be kind.
September 19th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Right; number 1 – they want morning tea?
Give the anally retentive little shits a Granny Smith apple each, that should loosen whatever SOL (shit on liver) complaint they have and stuff their greedy gullets at the same time.
2.YOU are The MANAGER. There is a reason why you have that job and more responsibility than them – because they are fucktards who couldn’t handle a bar of soap in a prison shower or organise a fart at a curry eating contest.
3. You WILL know their movements or you WILL send the Stabbity Fuck menopausal women after them in their pissy 5 mins tea break…and trying to chow down on a Granny Smith with Uber-Screechy Bitch on your arse earns a difficulty rating of 9.7 but no bonus in the pay packet.
4. They do THEIR jobs according to THEIR job description.
YOUR job description, on the other hand, is to allow the little dears to use their printed job descriptions to either remind them of their tasks or they may use it to wipe their arses when they learn what unemployment actually is.
5. Remind the dipshits that communication is the name of the game….not polishing turds like themselves to make them look better than they really are.
September 19th, 2009 at 1:25 pm
I’m gonna print this out, take it to work, put it on the noticeboard with and arrow with a little caption saying “What she said!!!”
Love this comment Jayne! Just love it!
September 19th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Squeeze the bitches heads until the pus in there, that they call brains, oozes out of every orifice on their dumb arse heads. Next dock these dumb ares bitches 15 minutes for every minute they are late, to work , late back from lunch, or piss off early. Next ban all personal items from their work stations. Kill all radios in the office.
They are their to work after all, and the office is your office. They only have work stations. If all of this fails, rip of their heads and shit down their throats. I know a great place to dispose of the body’s. Under no circumstances fire them. It is more fun to squeeze their heads and mess with their brains. Read them their Job descriptions just before you give them a written warning and ask them “what have you not done”. Counsel them then put them on a three month review as to weather or not they have improved in their work load to keep their job. Give them revision of their job training, because their performance is down so they must of forgot something. When you leave the office give them specific jobs to do and ask they be done before you return. These task should be of a duration of about 60 minutes. Arrive back in 50 minutes and start counseling all over again.
Along with retraining. when asked by said staff where are you going the standard reply is ” down to do interviews with office staff at the unemployment office.
Sooner or latter they will need those funny little white coats that button down the back. this is also good for the next staff member you employ because you can send them to visit the last employee at the nut factory.
If you require any more assistance, I give my time freely, as long as I can screw with their heads as well.
Burnie
see, these are the reasons I love you so much! You have my best interests at heart and have no hesitation in voicing your thoughts!
I may just have to utilise some of these ideas my precious.
I thank you for the suggestions….
September 21st, 2009 at 11:27 am
I had to read this again, as I thought I was missing something. That is unreal !!!
isn’t it just? not too sure who they think they are…
Love the suggestions that have been made. What a pack of asshats.
you got that right!
moe
September 27th, 2009 at 10:30 pm
oh FFS!
Were your staff all raised in hippy communes away from the corrupting influence of real society?
They should be thankful that you allow them free oxygen to breathe in your presence!