Blurred perceptions
Thursday, June 5th, 2008My dark mood has left me somewhat pensive of late. When these clouds descend, I look inwards. I tend to retreat into myself.
Amongst my recent musings, a question occured to me.
At what point in time does a person get to be themself as opposed to a perception?? For instance, when is it my time to be MAUREEN?
Not a wife?
Not Mum?
Not Nanny?
Not Moe?
Not a worker?
Not a friend?
Not Anonymum?
Not a fucking rock??
Don’t get me wrong. I love being all of the above…98% of the time. Now and then, like lately, I think to myself…
When does it come to the point that I’m Maureen??? And JUST Maureen???
What happens to the people around me when all the above people become Maureen?
Who thinks of noone BUT Maureen?
Or what Maureen wants?
Or what Maureen wants to do?
Or where Maureen wants to go?
Or what Maureen wants to eat?
Or what Maureen thinks is best for Maureen?
Or are all those people the ones that MAKE Maureen??
I love to give, and I love to help, and I love to be leaned on, so not a lot of this makes sense to me.
I’m not ordinarily a selfish person. In fact I’m quite the opposite. I’d give someone the shirt off my back and the last 5c in my pocket if I though they needed it more than me.
I can’t answer the damned thing! Maybe you can???
