The summary of life
Saturday, October 6th, 2007THINGS THAT CHILDREN LEARN
No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptise cats.
When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
The best place to be when you’re sad is Granddad’s lap.
THINGS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED
Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
Wrinkles don’t hurt.
Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
THINGS YOU REALISE AS YOU GET OLDER
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Forget the health food. You need all the preservatives you can get.
When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Never forget. Life is far too short to be taken seriously.
