OrganiSed Chaos

When people first meet Mark and I, there are the usual pleasantries, Hi, how are you, nice to meet you, all those things. So far, so good yes?
Anyhow, as time goes by, the conversation generally goes along these lines:

THEM “Do you have any children?
US “We have 5 daughters”
{insert sympathetic comments regarding shotguns for the boyfriends, weddings etc etc etc}
THEM “How old are your girls”
US “They range from 18 to 33″
THEM “Grandchildren?”
US “5, 1 girl, 4 boys”
{insert pleasantries regarding the delights of grandchildren}
THEM “Gee you must have started young to have children that age, you’re not that old??” (it’s at this point, I have a pretty good idea of where we’re going!)
US “Well, Maureen (I) did, the eldest 3 are from her first marriage, and the younger 2 from my first marriage”
THEM “So you’ve both been married before then?”
US “I’ve been married twice before, Mark just the once before and the older girls are from my first marriage, they all have the one father”
{insert pregnant, stunned pause in conversation, coupled with raised eyebrows}
THEM “Twice? SO Mark is your THIRD husband then” (insert my thought: well at least you can fucking add up moron!!) [My thought is always along these lines because I KNOW what’s coming.]
US “Yes, that’s right” {smiling politely, forced as it is at this point!}
THEM “So how long have you 2 been married?”
US “Just had our (however many years) anniversary” {smiling happily}
THEM “And how long did your OTHER marriages last Maureen?”
ME “A lot fucking longer than my tolerance for narrow minded, self righteous, holier than thou cretins like you!!” {remove smile totally from this point forward}

Why is it, the minute people find out Mark is my 3rd husband, they begin to look at me like some type of serial wife who came to be when I got up one day and thought “Gee, I’ll get married as many times as I can in my life to see what it’s like, just cos it sounds like a real fucking hoot”??

I want to tell them I spent every last bit of emotional energy I had on each of my failed marriages before I gave up on them. *sighs and shrugs shoulders* But I don’t. I have no need to justify myself to these people.

I know, and that’s what counts.

Friends say “Don’t tell them” and my response is “It’s who we are and I’m not going to hide from that. It’s the past that’s made us who we are today, the people that you see as friends today!”

I have no time for small minded people. None at all. I don’t want them near me, and I don’t want them in my life. Life is far too short to bother with this type of person.

Tell ‘em to piss off.

It works for me.