Dear Santa
Dear Santa
My name is Anonymum (you might have me on your list as Nanny or Maureen or Mum or ZN or various other “intersting” names people call me…best check just in case..)
Everybody says you’re magical, so the things I want for Christmas this year should be a snap for you
1. New perky boobies…i keep burning myself when i try to iron the ones i have and i’m sick of praying for flea bites so they’ll swell (if this isn’t possible, some type of pump that inflates as opposed to the ones that take stuff out would do)
2. Some yummy Christmas food that I can eat without it accumulating around my hips. (if this isn’t possible, the card for someone who performs liposuction really cheap would be good)
3. A voice that i can sing with. (The one I have has been reported to the EPA quite a few times because I like to sing in the shower and now they’re threatening to lock me up)
4. A butt that doesn’t need wide load signs when i go out in the street (if this isn’t possible new wide load signs would do i guess, the others are starting to look a bit shabby)
5. The will power to NOT use A-pop as fog blodder. There I go again..see, I just can’t help myself!! NAH!
6. Something other than industrial strength hair clips to at least create the illusion of not having any wrinkles (they leave some really bad dents in my head, but if this is not possible, please do NOT leave the name of michael jackson’s plastic surgeon, i’ll learn to live with the wrinkles!)
7. A Lotus just cos I’m a speed freak and it would be fun (besides, between this, my perky new boobs, new butt, new hips, no wrinkles and being able to serenade him, a-pop will think all HIS christmases have come at once, so these will serve a double purpose!)
These are the only things I REALLY want for Christmas, so I don’t think it’s a lot to ask for given that I’ve been SUCH a good girl this year!!! It’s only a little list!!!! PLEASE Santa…PLEEEEAAAASE!!
p.s a case each of scotch, bourbon and vodka would be nice in my stocking if you could manage it….i don’t eat lollies…..
Categories: thoughts
No Comments »
« A few teething problems | Home | Ditch IE! »
