OrganiSed Chaos

Today has been a special day in our house…very special indeed. After a 4 year absence for reasons far too complicated to explain, our youngest daughter came home for a visit. The things that lead to this seperation were highly emotional, hard to deal with and almost cost our marriage. It was only sheer determination to NOT let that happen, that saved it.
About 7 months ago, we received a phone call from her one Wednesday night, out of the blue. That was the beginning of a journey that lead to her plane landing this morning at 8.20am, here in Townsville. Mark had NO idea she was coming, Kelly, myself and her elder sister conspired the week before Christmas to bring her up as a surprise for her father. That Emmie had decided to come as well was a wonderful bonus, and she arrived just after lunch.
After much conniving between myself, Kelly and Mel’s new boyfriend (who took him for a game of golf to get him out of the house) we managed to get them both here with their father blissfully unaware of the scheming that had gone on under his nose for the last week.
It was worth the multitude of “fibs” about why i needed to go out so early (when we’re both on holidays) to see the look on his face when he walked into the kitchen and saw them sitting there, a bow on each of their foreheads (far too much paper required to wrap them) with the top part of the Christmas between them, and both saying Merry Christmas Dad. For the first time in 11 years I saw Mark speechless…literally speechless. He couldn’t speak because he was too busy picking up his bottom jaw from the floor. He looked like he’d seen a ghost…and it was, without a doubt, THE best sight I’ve seen in 4 long, painful years.
As I type we have the one thing i thought we would never have again. Mark and BOTH of his daughters under the one roof, all sleeping peacefully after an evening that included pancakes and hot dogs for dinner, a walk along one of the most picturesque beach fronts in Australia, the girls and their father playing like little kids on playground equipment all whilst giggling like school children.
No prizes for guessing who hasn’t stopped smiling all night, will probably smile the whole time they’re asleep and intends to say a small prayer of thanks before they go to sleep?
Tomorrow is Zoes 6th birthday (in fact, it’s today seeing it’s after midnight) and we’ll have 4 of our 5 girls in the one place to celebrate with her. 5 would have been the ultimate scenario, however Natasha is far too pregnant to be going anywhere too far from home, and to here is 3500, so i’m just going to smile and count my blessings. All 4 of them.
I’m a very happy, contented, wife, mother and nanny tonight people. I am, without a doubt, one of the luckiest people alive.
I hope your day has been as brilliant as mine. For now, I’m off to say a prayer. Pleasant dreams guys…

I had someone tell me shortly before Christmas that they loved my passion. I made an off the cuff comment about doing a post for her about it. The more I thought about it, the more the idea appealed to me. So Sarah, this is for you sweetie…
I am a passionate person, about many things, and none more so than my family. Here’s why.
We’re very lucky to have Kelly. Luckier than many people have been, because she was born 10 weeks early, weighed all of 4lb 3oz and lost a pound of that within the first 24 hours of her life. This while connected to tubes and machines to help her breathe, to keep her alive. I didn’t hold her in my arms until she was over a week old. The birth was induced because I had dangerously high blood pressure, and I mean dangerously high. High enough to have them induce me into a coma in order to deliver the baby because they thought my heart would give out if I went through labour while conscious. It took 36 hrs and i remember little of it. I was not quite 17 at the time and scared shitless as you can well imagine. Her father was a tower of strength however so in that respect I was lucky. She stayed in hospital for 5 weeks after I went home. Needless to say we were pleased to finally get her there. From Kelly comes Zoe, who by rights shouldn’t even be here. Kel had been told several times she would probably never conceive, so Zoe is her miracle baby, as is her mother to me.
Tash was neither early or a hard birth, but she did have a horrendous accident when she came off a horse at age 11. Horse slipped, Tash came off, horse went 6 feet in the air and came down on top of her,and let me tell you, there was no such thing as a poor horse on our place, they were fat! Out cold and not one broken bone was had! Small concussion was the worst injury to be seen. I believe with all my heart she was spared because Wil, Max and Baby Q were meant to be. Again, I was very lucky, as was Tash, there is no way she should have come out from under that horse alive!
I spent 4 1/2 months flat on my back when having Mel. Placental insufficiency was the culprit. Intravenous feeding for the baby in the womb via my veins was the order of the day and TOTAL bed rest. Bit of a worry when there are 2 at home. Dad was again a tower of strength. She was born 3 weeks early after being induced because the placenta was virtually jelly. Against all odds she was as fit and healthy as any baby in the hospital. Dr’s were amazed! A 3 lb weakling was expected and we had more specialists than I’ve ever seen in one place in that delivery room. A chopper was on the helipad warming up to whisk her to the nearest big city, 2 intensive care paramedics waiting outside the delivery room to take her, but after an examination by one of the specialists it wasn’t required. From this worrying time came one of THE sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure to have involved in my life. She HAD to be ok because Caleb needed the remarkable young woman she has grown into for his mother. Her inner beauty and strength never cease to amaze me. 3rd time lucky.
When Mel was 4 I went for a pap smear. Some of the worst words a woman can hear? “Maureen, there are some irregular cells we want to have a look at” Not so bloody lucky this time. Cervical cancer is not a nice thing to know you have.
After numerous tests, being poked, prodded, injected and probed in all THOSE places there was but one choice. Hysterectomy, some chemo, monthly check ups, then 3 monthly, to 6 monthly to annual to every second year to when I got around to it.
I’m well past it these days, but it took me a long time to accept I was not going to die. But to KNOW i survived? This is what gave me my passion for life. This and knowing how damned lucky I am to have the children and grandchildren I do.
The odds tell me I am one VERY lucky person.
I have also been lucky enough to have been given 2 wonderful girls through Mark. The only thing missing with them is the birth. But then biology doesn’t make a mother does it?
There is nothing like facing your own mortality to drive home that life is for LIVING and that you should enjoy every day you have to it’s fullest.
To appreciate your family, good friends and make the most of what you have regardless of how much or little you have. When you love, love wholeheartedly. If it doesn’t work you will survive the pain. When you sing, it doesn’t matter what it sounds like if it feels good.
Don’t worry about your weight, if you want it, eat it.
Shout to all and sundry where you come from, how well your country did in whatever they’ve done, even if they came last, be proud!
If you can make someone laugh do it! There is no sweeter sound than that of laughter.
Cherish your parents, regardless of how you think they’ve wronged you. Without them you wouldn’t be here, nor would you be who you are.
Above all, enjoy every single minute you can grab with your children. If they need help, give it to them in any way you can, make sure they know you love them and are there for them no matter what.
Because you never know when you wake up if this day is your last.

There will be a million and one of these posts getting around I know. But i REALLY wanted to be a million and 2 so I waited until the time was just right…
We only know a few things about what the New Year holds for us. A new baby to love, both A-pop and I turn 50, youngest daughter is 18, and number 4 is 21. Cost of getting to new baby and daughters birthdays will be reasonably expensive, but WELL worth it at twice the price
I’m not much into resolutions, so I’m not going to go down that road. Why limit yourself to once a year if you want to improve yourself or your life? I prefer to think of it a work in progress throughout the year. I have some bad habits, but I’ve had most of them for a long time so I’m not convinced a resolution will make one iota of difference, and I know many feel the same way. Realistically, if I wanted to give up smoking I’d do it wouldn’t I?
I’m not a great one for wanting to know what a new year will bring. There are things we know as I said, but I like life to be a bit of a mystery tour as a general rule. There are many things i will continue to do this year that i have always done so instead of the resolution list I’m going to do one on things that i normally do and will keep doing.
I will continue to enjoy my life, whatever it brings, good or bad. Life is a journey mapped out from the moment of conception. To even have it is a blessing and is something that should be appreciated every minute of every day
I will continue to be passionate about my family. It is, without a doubt, THE most precious thing in my life
I will continue with my refusal to grow up. I can do nothing about getting older, but this one is well within my capability
I will continue to blog no matter what. How could I not continue with something that has brought some wonderful people into my life, regardless of geography?
I will continue to believe in the handful of philosophies that have stood me in good stead my entire life namely:
ALL things happen for a reason, and it will become clear with time what that reason is regardless of the event
There is no point in worrying about it if I can do nothing about whatever it is, all that will do is give me grey hair and ulcers
ALWAYS listen to my instincts, it’s rare they have let me down
No matter HOW tempting it may be, 2 wrongs do NOT make a right

So that’s my idea of New Year. If you want to add some resolutions, please feel free.
Finally, it’s Tasha’s birthday today so happy birthday sweetheart. It’s times such as these we wish we were closer, but I’ll see you before too long anyway. Whatever you do today i hope you enjoy it
Have a great new year guys….

I had a comment made in another post recently by someone I have on my blogroll. The person in question said they thought it strange they were amongst some of the great writers I have on there. My response was that everybody has talents, it’s simply that some have different talents to others. It made me think. How and why did I accumulate the people on this strange thing called a “blogroll”? (Sounds like some new sort of dessert doesn’t it???) These are the reasons each of these people have been added as part of the nook..

EVYL This man has the ability to make me laugh at any time of the day or night. No matter my mood or general demeanour at that point, I still laugh every time I click the link. He does NOT call a spade a horticultural instrument…he calls it something you fucking dig with. He simplifies life in a way I’ve never seen before and i LOVE it. I ALWAYS comment. I found him at Smoke and Mirrors and just never went home

MURDER OF RAVENS Only posts every now and again, but when he does it says something as opposed to rambling from one place to another (nothing like me hey??) He has definite ideas and displays them with panache (not only that, the name destroys me. Over here it’s a murder of crows but i knew what he meant and was impressed to find someone else who knew what this collective referred to) Again, via Smoke and Mirrors

NO REGRETS Needs no introduction to most of you. An amazing young woman that never lets things get her down for too long and has a wonderful way with words and a heart bigger than herself. And I love her to bits *UPDATE: she would have beaten the crap out of me if i left her off*

SARAH FLANIGAN I recently did a post about this remarkable young lady. All i can do is repeat what i said then. Do yourself a favour and go visit. You won’t be disappointed. A talent you rarely come across outside a book. Both Smoke and Mirrors and Writer Chick found her before me

SMOKE AND MIRRORS Suffice to say one of THE most unique, genuine, caring, sensitive souls I have EVER had the pleasure of encountering in my 49 years. I once described him as an enigma, I stand by that, and mean it in the nicest possible way. You will ALWAYS be welcome at Michaels place…always. I started going there before I started blogging myself, and he’s partly responsible for the nook (so blame him ok??) it’s rare i don’t comment here. He is one of the people i consider a friend, which given we’re on opposite sides of the world may sound strange. But he knows what i mean. He has the ability to make me cry, he gives me goosebumps and touches my soul like noone else, and always has done. A truly remarkable person

WRITER CHICK TALKS Words almost fail me here. This young woman is just an amazing person. Amazing. There are times I think I gave birth at some point and missed the lot, pregnancy and all! i ALWAYS comment. She posts some of the most thought provoking material around and does it with flare! Another I consider a friend regardless of geography. She know exactly what i mean too don’t you chicken? Again via Smoke and Mirrors

So there you go. If you ever wonder about why others (or yourself) are on my blogroll when you all seem so different, these are the reasons. Each and every one of you give me something different. If and when I come across anyone else who grabs me I’ll add them. Until then I’m happy with the little collection I have. If you’ve never wondered, well tough, I just felt the need to tell you anyway

Kelly beat me to this post by about 3 hours. This is what happens when you have similar people living together I guess. I wasn’t quite finished mine when she posted hers and I almost didn’t post it, but then changed my mind.

At this time of year, everybody seems to want. Most are presents well outside the reach of your average Joe, but that doesn’t stop people from almost ending up in the poor house to make it happen, an attitude that has always eluded me.

I’ve decided to do a REAL list as opposed to the somewhat irreverent one I posted earlier in the month. These are the things I truly want. These are not for myself, they are for those who mean the most to me. These are things money CANNOT buy, which just make them all the more special.

M: For you to see the bridge truly mended, never to be broken again for as long as you live. This wish is made with all my heart for you

K: For you to find the one thing that has eluded you for your whole life.100% contentment. Settled and secure in the knowledge that your family love you no matter what happens (and from your last post you’re almost there my precious)

N: For you, an easy end to a journey that has been difficult this time, a healthy baby to show for it, and the knowledge that whilst we may be a long way in distance, distance means nothing when it comes to love. It’s the one emotion that traverses distance because we have you in our hearts all day, every day

M: For you, that the happiness you have found is a lasting one this time. Of all my children, God knows you deserve it, and have earnt it the hard way

E: For you a more settled time in the year ahead. To have some semblance of an ordered existence, the one thing that always seems to have eluded you, no matter how badly you’ve wanted it, and that the love you have found is the one you’ve been seeking since I’ve known you.

S: For you to build a lasting bridge with your father and sister. The road will not be easy sweetheart, but it will be worth it…and for you to excel in your exam results. I know how hard you’ve worked and how badly you want them. I pray you get them *UPDATE One wish has come true…you got your results and they WERE brilliant..your father and i are bursting with pride*

Zoe, Wil, Max, Caleb & Taylah: For each of you, every dream you ever have through your lives to come true. To learn to embrace your family the way family is meant to be embraced, with all your heart and soul. All of you have wonderful examples to learn from, and once the art of this is learnt, it stays with you forever, and is a truly remarkable thing to hold

To all who come to my blog and read what is mainly waffle, I hope Christmas is all you could wish for and you have the company of those who mean the most to share it with. I hope it is filled with love and cheer and that all your dreams come true. Merry Christmas to you all

This is copied and pasted from the live scores site on Ninemsn…the Ashes are back where they belong (And all Australians have a GREAT Christmas present courtesy of the Australian cricket team)

*Ricky Ponting is beaming from ear to ear, receiving hugs and applause from all his team-mates. And Duncan Fletcher begrudgingly goes round to John Buchanan and shakes his hand – frostily, it must be said. And here come England out onto the pitch to congratulate Australia. Interestingly that’s only the 14th fourth-innings score of 350 or more to lose a Test. And Australia’s fist-pumping celebrations to the crowd really shows how much it means to them. Many of these Australians won’t be around for the next Ashes in 2009, so they end their Ashes careers as winners.*

WELL DONE BOYS!!!!

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!! OI OI OI!!