In recent weeks Zoe has made quite a few references to my age. It doesn’t perturb me, nor does it upset me as I believe age is a state of mind as opposed to a condition or an appearance, it’s just a number. I accept that she sees anyone over the age of 21 as old, which seems to be the case with most children. (until such time as they actually REACH 21! :-) ) Now I generally laugh and make light of it when she makes these comments, as do Kelly and Mark, however it has given me food for thought on how children view not only adults, but life and the world in general.
Children have a simplistic view of most things, which to be honest, I envy .
They know nothing of fear, intolerance, bigotry, hate, war, terrorism, politics, responsibility, political correctness, pedophiles, rape, murder, violence, prisons, disease, abject poverty, bullying or indeed anything that seems to ail the world or mankind.
When they’re young they see life as one big adventure full of food, love, cuddles and fun because they have Mum, Dad, Nanny, Poppy and anyone else they come into contact with to make it this way. Their every need is provided as a matter of course and they learn this very quickly. They cry and someone attends to them with whatever they require.
When they can, they speak without NEEDING to think, because they’re unaware that there can be a price to pay, or ramifications for saying the “wrong” thing. They give an opinion as they see it, WHEN they see it, with a logic and wisdom that at times defy their tender years.
As a parent, to see this innocence is wonderful, and at times moving. Sadly however, there is a responsibility that dictates we cloud their rosy existence, teach them as best we can about the unpleasant realities of life, and systematically take that innocence away. To NOT do so is, at best, irresponsible, when you consider some of the harm that can befall them in their time on this earth. The difficult part is being able to educate them in regard to the things they NEED to know, and still have them grow to be responsible, caring adults, and, in time, parents themselves. It’s a fine line. Here a but few examples of the facts we need to explain to our children.
There are people in the world who WANT to hurt them. This alone is difficult, even without having to explain WHY.
There are people who don’t love them as they have always been loved by those in and around their family.
They ask us to explain why some of the kids at school call others fat, stupid or lazy when noone has ever called them these things.
Why countless lives have been lost because people with different beliefs cannot agree to disagree, nor can they live and let live, and that they feel it necessary to shoot at each other in order to make their point.
Why there are those who believe anyone with a skin colour different to their own, is any less of a human being, and because of this, we now can’t call someone black, when in fact they are.
Why there are people in the world who felt, and acted on, a need to commit the mass murder of almost 2000 innocents who were doing nothing more than going about their day to day lives. The one heinous “crime” these victims perpetrated was to be in a country that fosters freedom and a better way of life for any who choose to live there.
Why noone is held responsible for their own actions, and it’s always someone elses fault, when the child themself has always been taught to tell the truth and face the consequences of their actions because it’s the right thing to do.
These are just a drop in the ocean of harsh realities that children need to know in this day and age.
I enjoy being a mother and grandmother more than anything else. I loved seeing the wide eyed innocence on my childrens faces BEFORE I had the need to slowly take away their childhood, and I love the way Zoe and the others tell it the way it is. “Nanny you’re getting old!” Simple.
I will always struggle with the fact that parents are forced to teach their children the meaning of words like fear, terrorism, bigotry and pedophilia, just to help them survive. Saddest of all is I have to watch MY children, teach THEIR children, and if needs be, help them do it.
I appreciate that children need to grow up, and I’m not suggesting we wrap them in cotton wool in order to keep them as children forever, I merely question how early people think it’s necessary for them to start this education process. These days it seems they’re taught earlier then ever that the world appears to have lost the plot.
Children see the world, adults and life in black and white, without major difficulties.
It’s adults that invent the grey and create the complications.
