RIP dear friend
You were always there for me.
It didn’t matter what time of the day or night it was, you stood ready to fulfill my needs.
Never once did you complain, you just did what you had to, in order to make me feel better.
You were never judgmental either, and that’s rare these days.
There was no warning of what was going to happen is the thing.
The dismay as I realised what had happened was hard.
Very hard.
The black void we all fear our friends entering.
Your time had come, and there was nothing I could do.
Mark tried to revive you but couldn’t, and that was when I knew you were gone, because if Mark could do nothing, there was nothing to be done.
He has the power of life over these things normally, but not this time.
You were gone and that’s all there was to it.
We had a small ceremony for you, with just Mark and I, and it was quite solemn, just the way you would have wanted.
There was only one thing that hit me when we had it.
The dull thud as you hit your final resting place jolted me.
It echoed in my head for hours.
The one thing you always let me do was use you and I appreciated that more than anything, until it came to me.
You were made for me to use.
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It’s what we do with electric kettles!
Useless piece of modern crap!
I’m gonna replace you today, so stuff ya!
Topics: Australia, Death, anonypop, humour | 6 Comments »
Questions
I found my head in a familiar place today.
Full of questions, confusion and dismay.
I apologise in advance for this post, because it’s not going to be specific or pointed.
It will seem like a dogs breakfast, but that’s just how my head is.
Life is a strange thing.
Until early this morning, my most pressing question was wondering when the hell I’m ever going to be done with breeding the 5 animals of each species I need to progress in a Facebook game.
Now, not so much.
When I turned the breakfast show on , I found the news to be full of Australia giving our highest honour to the president of Indonesia, Lara Bingle and her nude photo scandal and more tripe than I’ve heard in the last 5 years combined, and that’s when it occurred to me.
I’m over it.
Seriously over it.
There are real people in the world with real problems and I can’t be arsed with the crap that’s served up as “important” anymore.
My head today has been {and is still} with people who have more on their plates than they should have, and who never complain.
They just do what needs to be done for those who need doing it without a whimper.
They accept their lot in life and still manage to find time for others.
They slug their guts out day in and day out to make a life, and still can’t get a break.
WTF is with that?
Why is it always the good people who cop the worst of it?
*sigh*
Life is so damned unfair sometimes, and as much as I love it, there are days when I hate it too.
Like I warned you it would be.
A dogs breakfast…..
Topics: bullshit, family, feelings | 3 Comments »
Malarky Monday
Indeed, Monday has arrived at the speed of a startled gazelle, and it with comes the shenanigans we all know as Malarky Monday.
If you don’t know about our weekly mayhem, it’s the day when myself, Mark, ~m and DILLIGAF all band together in an effort to make you giggle, smile, bust your gut laughing, or if we’re extra lucky, spit coffee all over your monitor.
We’re big on trying to make people spit if the truth be known!
Onto the mayhem for this week, and let’s start with a visual shall we?
This had me giggling at the idiocy of those who name these ships.
Given it’s full of seAmen though, I’m not sure anyone took the advice the name suggests!!
Next in line is a little joke for you to snicker over
A very ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face, and
orders a Draft beer.
‘What are you so happy about?’, asks the Bartender.
‘Well, I’ll tell you,’ replies the ugly man.
As you know, I live by the railroad tracks.
On my way home from the bar last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, just like in the films.
I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all Night, all over the house. We did everything! me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!’
‘Fantastic, you lucky bastard!’, exclaimed the Bartender.
‘Was she pretty?’
‘Dunno…Never found the head!’
Sick, I know, but hey, this is me after all!
Another visual, thank to the email I received for last weeks MM {thanks again WS, you’re a star hon! still think you should join us too BTW!!}
Just on this pic, there is another blogger who should get a giggle out of this given the habits of a duck known as Bubbles!! Bit of payback is always a good thing!
Finally this week, another visual for your snorting pleasure.
This also came in the aformentioned email from WS too, but I did already have it, so we can share the praise for this one WS.
Don’t forget to go visit my fellow mayhem makers either.
I know what they have this week, and there are some rip snorters!
Topics: Newsflash | 4 Comments »
Give the Muslim a medal
I didn’t want to leave it till Monday to post again, but had NFI what to post because my brain is a soggy mess after this week.
EOM and all that shit tends to make me feel like I’ve done a few rounds in the boxing ring with someone 87 times my size is the problem.
Anyhow, I was trawling through the 000’s of unread items in my news folder just now and found what I though was a great little story.
Let me preface this by saying I’m the least racist person in the world.
Yes, I’m opinionated, loud, and at times obnoxious, but at the same time I’m ordinarily non racist.
Live and let live I say.
Your beliefs are different to mine, I don’t give a damn, just don’t try and shove it down my throat, but don’t send suicide bombers or planes into places that will kill innocents either.
That kind if of pisses me off and gives me a somewhat disenchanted view of your beliefs.
Having said that, if there were more of these types of people in your religion, I could be tempted to take a little more notice of you.
Thought I would leave this up for the weekend, and I’ll be back with Malarky Monday…on Monday!
Have a fabulous weekend people.
Topics: Blogfodder, Faith, feelings | 2 Comments »
Malarky Monday
Monday again, and with it comes our little attempt to tittilate and tempt you into spitting coffee all over your monitor.
Now, there’s a story behind this weeks MM.
On my part I mean.
I’ve been Facebooking most of weekend, and I was on a mission to get a few things done.
So I’m zooing, and cafeing, and I’m all over the place like a mad womans shit in the house, and planting things in the garden and, and, and, I’m sure you get the drift?
Enter Monday morning.
FUUUUUUUCK what am I going to do for MM????
Trawling, looking, trying to remember to breath.
I had a husband in a previous life that always used to say “The Lord will provide”
Well, as it transpires, he could have been right.
In my haste to find something for MM, I hadn’t opened my email.
When I did, what should I find?
Blog fodder!!!
LOTS of blog fodder.
Widdle Shamrock {God love her} had sent me an absolute blinder of an email, and I thank her deeply for saving my slack MM arse with said email.
With that in mind, I dedicate this weeks little offering to her, and suggest, gently, that if this is the calibre of what she has to offer, then maybe, just maybe, she would like to join us in our fun??
Anyhow, on with it, and when you’re done here, don’t forget to visit my cohorts in Mark, ~m and DILLIGAF.
There are only 3 of what i received here, because I may need them on another week {when I do slack arse that is!!!}
This first one is SO me! Particularly after the last couple of weeks on a Facebook application!
{if you want a better look, click the pics BTW}
Nothing like taking the piss out of people not fortunate enough to find love the traditional way
I can hear you now. “This is why I prefer cats”
Topics: Malarky Monday, Newsflash | 6 Comments »
Malarky Monday
Indeed, it’s the time of the week when we attempt to make you giggle, gurgle, gyrate and spit.
Malarky Monday!
Not too sure where the last 7 days have gone, but gone they are.
Monday is a bitch of a day for most people as they look down the barrel of another week involving kids, work, that bastard thing called life in general and when Friday seems a bloody long away away, so we like to see you at least smile if nothing else.
Now, when I say we, that of course includes my madcap cohorts in Mark, ~m and DILLIGAF, so be sure to go visit once you’re done chortling here {did I just say chortling??? WTF?? my brain must be fried I think}
This week from me is not only a giggle, but in fact it’s educational as well.
I kid you not my friends.
It’s a lesson you could use to explain sexuality to your kids when they start getting curious.
No awkward conversation will be needed, just show them these instead!
Check these out!
Topics: Malarky Monday, humour, thoughts | 2 Comments »
