Malarky Monday
Malarky Monday is upon us with the speed of a wounded duck.
I no sooner seem to do one of these than it’s time to do another!
Having said that, we can never laugh too much so perhaps the quicker it gets here the better do you think?
**thinking hard on that one**
Bugger it, it’s Monday, and a person can only handle the odd deep philosophical question on the first day of the work week, and it’s all too much for me, so we shall move to the gut busting giggles for this week, 2 of which are jokes for you pass along and share with your nearest and dearest, with the last one being the obligatory man with pussy cos guy’s just love them!.
Once you’re done here, don’t forget to visit my fellow malarkiers in Mark, Michael and DILLIGAF.
They’re sure to serve up some rippers!
The priest in a small Irish village loved his rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church.
One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock
was missing.
He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church.
During mass, he asked the congregation, ‘Has anybody got a cock?’
All the men stood up.
‘No, no,’ he said, ‘that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?’
All the women stood up.
‘No, no,’ he said, ‘that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn’t belong to them?’
Half the women stood up.
‘No, no,’ he said, ‘that wasn’t what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?’
Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up.
Paddy was walking along the street in Dublin when he rounds a corner and there’s a high rise building on fire.
Being the kind-hearted Irishman, he runs up to the building to see if he can help and notices people trapped 5 stories up.
Paddy yells to the people ‘I’m Patrick Sean Michael Fitzpatrick’, the Irish Rugby Union fullback, if you jump I’ll catch you.’
One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough Paddy catches her.
Then a man sees that Paddy catches the women and jumps.
Sure enough Paddy catches him safely.
Then a black man jumps out and falls to the ground, Paddy didn’t even attempt to catch him. Paddy looked up and yelled.
“Don’t throw out the fooken’ burnt ones!”
Topics: thoughts | 3 Comments »
Ain’t this the truth!
On Facebook, there’s a little bit of fun going around.
This is what it said:
Go to urbandictionary.com, type in your first name, copy and paste this as your status and the FIRST entry for your name under comments.
So I did.
It’s not often I do them, but after seeing what mine said, I had to!!
This was my result:
Female name usually given to someone Irish or an Irish wanna-be. Most Maureens are smart, stubborn and memorable. A Maureen will leave you exhausted for days. You won’t forget your first Maureen, ever.
I nearly wet myself laughing and thought I should share it with you.
Go.
Check out your name and come tell me all about you!!
Topics: Blogfodder, bit of fun, links | 2 Comments »
Malarky Monday
Ah yes, Monday again, when we get out our ticklers in an attempt to attack your little fancies, and we all know there’s nothing quite like having our fancies tickled, right???
This week Burnie had cheated is my first statement, so please go and give him as much grief as you can.
That what he’s posted is hysterical has nothing to do with it, the bastard still cheated!
~m and DILLIGAF join the fun as usual and I’m sure they didn’t cheat…you hear that Burnie??
So, onto the fun that we know as MM.
I’m not a big believer in coincidence, and this next little snippet doesn’t encourage me to change my mind either.
Having said that, I do await with bated breath to see how accurate it is!!
I mean, how can this be just a sick coincidence???
2007 – Chinese year of the Chicken – Bird Flu Pandemic devastates parts of Asia
2008 – Chinese year of the Horse – Equine Influenza decimates Australian racing
2009 – Chinese year of the Pig – Swine Flu Pandemic kills hundreds of pigs around the globe.
Has any one else noticed this???!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It gets worse…this year?
2010 – Chinese year of the Cock – what could possibly go wrong?
Hot on the heels of that I offer you a joke about those we all aspire to take the piss out of.
Politicians!
Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of Lake Burley Griffin in Canberra .
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, ‘I can’t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We’re the same age, we were the same size as kids. I just don’t get it.’
‘Well,’ said the big Croc, ‘what have you been eating?’
‘Politicians, same as you,’ replied the small Croc.
‘Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?’
‘Down the other side of the lake near the parking lot by the Parliament House.’
‘Same here. Hmm….How do you catch them?’
‘Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door, then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat ‘em!’
‘Ah!’ says the big Crocodile, ‘I think I see your problem. You’re not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a Politician, there’s nothing left but an arsehole and a briefcase.’
Finally this week, I’m sure you’ve all heard of full disclosure when selling your house?
If it’s had white ants you have to tell prospective buyers, any major structural damage, that sort of thing?
I’m thinking this pic says it all.
This is what’s known as full disclosure in the best possible way!
Topics: thoughts | 3 Comments »
Disgustingly decadent
The week before we left Sydney for Townsville, we had an Indian dinner party for the friends we were leaving behind.
We provided the Indian mains and people asked what the dessert would be, as in, would they be Indian or not.
My response was that I don’t really do desserts, but would if they wanted.
Their response suited me when everyone said they would bring a dessert dish each.
Now ordinarily I’m not much into cheesecake, but one that someone bought had me fascinated.
Mars Bar cheesecake.
My immediate reaction was how the hell do you make cheesecake from a Mars Bar, so I asked the question and was given this recipe.
I’ve made it several times since and have enjoyed it every time.
It’s disgustingly decadent and very sweet, but it’s also addictive!
You can’t have just one piece of this.
I say that as someone who isn’t that big a sweet tooth, so it’s a big call coming from me.
Give it a go should you feel the need for a diabetic coma one night.
You can thank me later!
This will take around 30 minutes to make, 3hours to chill and will serve 8.
Or 4 if they’re great big gutses!!
Enjoy.
You need these:
250g plain chocolate biscuits
150g butter, melted, plus 20g butter extra
300ml thickened cream
2 tablespoons brown sugar
50g milk chocolate, finely chopped
3 teaspoons gelatine
1/4 cup (60ml) boiling water
2 x 250g packets cream cheese (room temperature)
1/2 cup (120g) caster sugar
3 x 60g Mars bars, finely chopped (or more should you not be able to resist eating the chewy little suckers)
Then you do this:
1. Process bicuits in a food processor until the mixture resembles
fine breadcrumbs. Add melted butter and process until combined.
2.Press biscuit mixture firmly over base and side of a round (20cm)
spring form cake pan. Chill for 30 minutes, until firm.
3. Meanwhile, combine 2 tablespoons cream, brown sugar and extra
butter in a small saucepan. Stir on low heat for 3-4 minutes, until
sugar dissolves. Set aside.
4. In a seperate small saucepan, melt chocolate with 2 tablespoons
cream on low heat, stirring until smooth. Set aside.
5. Dissolve gelatine by whisking into water with a fork until dissolved.
Cool slightly. Set aside (yes, there’s a lot of setting aside)
6. With an electric mixer, beat cream cheese and caster sugar
together in a bowl until smooth. In another bowl, whisk remaining
cream until soft peaks form.
7. Stir gelatine mixture into cheese mixture with Mars bars. Fold in
cream.
8. Pour half of cheese mixture into prepared pan and drizzle with
half of caramel and chocolate sauces. Pull a skewer backwards and
forwards through mixture several times to create a marbled effect.
Repeat process with remaining cheese mixture and sauces. Cover
and chill for 3 hours, until set. Slice to serve.
When you’re finished, it should look like this
Topics: Recipes, Yum Yum Pigs Bum! | 3 Comments »
Behind the scenes
I’ve been looking for a premium theme for some time, with little success until recently when I purchased one.
Well, the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray they say, and it would seem the same can be applied to women.
I’ve had to enlist the help of my very own blogging goddess, who is also having some trouble she tell me, so if that’s the case I’m sure I would still be working on it this time next year if it’s giving her problems, trust me.
In the mean time, I’ve been trawling the internetz looking, and waiting for something to grab me, and today it did.
The irony here is that is was on the Wordpress site!
I rarely go there looking for themes because not a lot of them grab me ordinarily, and searching through them can be quite tedious, but these days you can search by tags and descriptions so it’s not too bad.
Me, being me, wanted a customisable header, so that’s what I went for.
Lo and behold a theme jumped out at me!
It’s wicked!
Really wicked!
I’m currently futzing with it to get it right and hope to have it done by the end of the weekend, and will launch it with my Malarky Monday post, if not before.
The biggest surprise of all, to me anyway, is that it’s only 2 columns.
I always, always, go for 3 columns, but this is different for some reason, plus it’s fluid width which is just a bonus.
So that’s going to be the best part of my weekend methinks.
There is much happening that you can’t see, but all will be revealed in the fullness of time as it generally is.
It’s flogging down rain here, so there is little else to do anyway, and a new theme always brightens my day a little.
I hope your weekend is treating you well.
Topics: Change, Internet, New, bit of fun, links | 4 Comments »
I’m an Aussie and bloody proud of it!
It’s Australia day here today.
That day of the year when we celebrate living in this magnificent country of ours.
For the non Aussies among us, I give you some history on the day itself, so you have some idea of what I’m waffling about.
We have many, many reasons to be grateful in our country, and many have explained it far better than I ever can, so this is just to say:
AUSSIE
OI
AUSSIE
OI
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!!
OI OI OI!!!
Celebrate being Australian!
If you’re short of a quid, knock on the next door neighbours front door, cos he’s sure to have a few snags on the barbie, and will doubtlessly share them, whether he likes you or not.
It’s just the Australian way after all.
Have a fabulous day people.
Topics: Australia, Friends, Newsflash, Pride, thoughts | 5 Comments »
