
This post could ramble a little, but bear with me?
Please?
Life is an odd beast.
Someone {something?} has handed each of us an incredible gift, and for no apparent reason.
No, I’m not going to get into the “why are we here crap” because I don’t have that sort of time, however the gift in question raises many thoughts for me, particularly at this time of the year.
As I’ve aged, my priorities have changed, which I believe is a normal happening as one gets older.
Well, it’s what 80 year olds tell me anyway, and I have little reason to disbelieve them.
As time passes, things happen, people die, children grow and mature, grandchildren are born and thus the circle of life keeps turning.
This is indisputable.
When I was younger my priorities were more hectic than they are now, if that makes sense? I hope it does because if not, it’s going to be one hell of a job explaining that statement!
Perhaps we’ll gloss over the past and fast forward to current day. That could be easier.
If I explain what my present priorities are, it may give you an insight in priorities past perhaps?
{beginning to sound a lot like Christmas isn’t it? The ghosts of priorities future could be next, so watch out for that one!!}
Christmas is approaching rapidly, and as I type we’re exactly a week away from the day itself.
We had cause to go shopping yesterday and, naturally, there were people everywhere, kids screaming because they were not only tired, but over it, and parents looking not overly inclined towards peace and goodwill to all men.
Before we started our shopping we decided to have something to eat, and whilst I was waiting for Mark to get his food, I over heard a conversation at the next table, and it went something like this.
Mum “I promised her she could have it”
Dad “But honey, we don’t have the 520.00 it’s going to cost”
Mum “So, what? You want me to tell her she can’t have it because her miserable fucking father won’t do a little extra overtime??”
Dad “I would rather spend the time with her and you than work to give her something that will hold her interest for 10 minutes the same as everything else we buy her. Isn’t it more important that we be together than what we spend?”
Mum “Fine! But when she asks why she didn’t get what she wants I’ll tell her it’s because her father doesn’t want to work harder for her!”
With that he shook his head, sighed and said “Ok, we’ll get it on time payment and then she’ll know we love her”
Am I the only one who struggles with this conversation?
I don’t think so.
Do I understand this mother’s desire to please her daughter?
Absolutely I do.
What I don’t comprehend is her willingness to betray her husband, and her daughter’s father, in order for her to achieve what she wants.
This girl will grow up one day. She’ll leave home, live her own life and not look back.
Will she sit with her mother every single Christmas and be eternally grateful that she ratted out her father to get her what she wanted.
Not a chance in hell.
What many forget is Christmas is about the people in our lives, why we have the season to start with and being grateful for both.
Family first {always} then friends, neighbours, whoever they are.
It’s not about the gifts they get or give or how much they cost, it’s about the thought that goes into it and the pleasure of seeing them open it.
Having said all that, it’s only been in the last 15-20 years I’ve seen it this way, and I put it down to learning what life is really about {or at least, my understanding of what it’s about} realising things are not the most important things in the world {although I’ve never been overly materialistic} and know that for as hard as I’ve done it at times in my life, there are others far worse off than I am.
I’ve never been huge on the biggest and best gift, however I have been guilty of it now and then I’ll admit, just not these days.
I’ll say here what I said one other time.
Look around you on Christmas day, and ask yourself if the people that count in your life would love you less than if you got them something other than a 520.00 gift.
It doesn’t matter how much or how little you have, you can still make a difference to someone else, be they family or a total stranger.
Christmas is about giving, yes, but I don’t recall seeing anywhere that what you give needs to be bigger than the moon.
My Christmas day will go like this.
We’ll wake up at 6.00am when the first phone call comes in {it’s a tradition and story for another time}
Once that’s done, Mark and I will wish each other a Merry Christmas and make tea.
More phone calls {and ribbing that whichever daughter it is wasn’t first this year}
We’ll have brekky, showers and get dressed to go out for lunch with Mel, Steve and Lucas.
Of all our family {which is large but scattered} they will be the only ones we see this year.
Before we do that however, I will say a little prayer that my Dad is enjoying his first Christmas Day with my Mum for 40 years, and hope they’re smiling down on all of us, proud of the legacy they left behind.
This will be my first without either of my parents alive, and whilst that makes me sad, it also forces me to hope that when the day comes my children are to face Christmas Day without their parents, by then their priorities will be as they should be, if they’re not already.
This year part of me will be happy I’m here to speak to the girls, even if I can’t see them, and part of me will be sad because I won’t have Dad {not that I saw him a lot at Christmas, but that’s not the point here}
I will not bemoan what I can’t have, or give, because that’s not what it’s about.
It’s about what I do have, which is a hell of a lot, and I’m grateful for every single part of it.