Why

Posted on January 28, 2012 by anonymum


For some reason unclear to me, there are people who seem to think all things need a purpose.
Do I think all things serve a purpose? Absolutely, but I’m not convinced they need one.
I’ve had many, many things in my life I don’t understand, and I’ll admit to having been guilty of dwelling {obsessing?} on the “whys” of them all at some point.
Why did I lose my mother when she {and I} were both so young?
Why was that girl at school so mean to me all the time?
Why are some people {seemingly} just bad to the bone?
Why do good people always seem to have bad things happen to them?
The list was endless.
Of late, I’ve been far less obsessed with knowing “why” and I can actually explain “why” this change has come about {yes, I see the complete irony in that statement, don’t worry!}
A few years back there was a chain of events that happened in mine, and others, life.
The end result of these events has been a genuine, deep, enduring friendship that stretches across more miles than I’m comfortable flying over.
Does it defy logic? Hell yeah!
Does it make sense? Hell no!
For a long, long time I mused over this friendship.
It made no sense on so many levels is was beyond ridiculous.
For the life of me I could not fathom why no matter how hard I thought about it. No matter how much it vexed me, I simply couldn’t make sense of it.
And then it hit me.
There is no why or reason, it simply is.
I don’t need to know why.
I realised my purpose is to merely accept and appreciate that this thing just is and right there is where my thinking about “why” changed.
Not all things need a why or a reason.
They just are and will continue to be no matter what, so there is little point in driving myself close to delirious with trying to make sense of them.
Imagine if we were all a little more accepting of things we don’t understand.
A little less concerned about the why of something.
Perhaps we would be less troubled and maybe our minds a little less noisy as we try to sleep at night.
I’m not suggesting this is the answer for everyone, but bear this in mind.
If we stop looking for why, we may find an answer when we least expect it.
Perchance we never find the answer, well, then we’re no worse off than we were, but there may be less worry and grief in the mean time.
Accepting that things just are has had quite a calming effect on me, and for all the right reasons.
This can only be a good thing surely?

Posted in Blogging | 5 Comments

Choices

Posted on January 14, 2012 by anonymum


As 2012 slowly makes it’s presence felt, my mind is turning to what is in store for myself and Mark.
My year has started with a gritty determination to make some lifestyle changes.
The very first of these has been to return to an eating plan that not only suits my metabolism, but is easy to follow.
Whilst it’s reasonably strict in some ways, in the ways that count it’s easy.
Fruit, sugar and carbs are out, protein, salad and vegetables are not only in, but unlimited {with a few exceptions}
This has been in place since January 1st, and is so far working well, other than the lethargic feeling, headaches and aches and pains my body is producing in an effort to deter me from the way I have chosen.
Trust me, it will NOT work, because once I’ve made my mind up about something, it will happen, no matter what. Not only that, I know these things are only temporary and will pass. Always helpful!
The other big thing this year will be a major relocation from Townsville back to Victoria.
We have postponed our planned trip to Boston until September for more than one reason, but the move itself is a big part of that decision.
Our move from Sydney to Townsville some 9 years ago was a big one, and this one will be bigger.
The reasons behind our choice to go {for me} home are many and varied, but the bottom line is that’s where my heart lays.
I love the lifestyle and climate here in the tropics {yes, even the humidity} and whilst the weather was a big motivator when I left the more southern states, there are things I miss about Victoria too.
Crisp autumn mornings, sunrises over the water, and most importantly, being within a close enough distance to see family members we see far too little of whilst we’re so far away. And trust me, Townsville is a long way away!
We know it means leaving some we care about here, but they understand why we need to do this. They understand our reasoning and if truth be known, they agree with it.
With getting older, it is reinforced more and more, that life is about choices.
As we weave our way through what sometimes seems a senseless journey, we are given choices whether we want them or not.
There is no right or wrong, they just are.
Whilst it seems sometimes we chose poorly, that still doesn’t make it right or wrong, it simply means we learn and next time we have reason to choose we ordinarily think a little harder is all.
We have no way of knowing if the choices we make are what’s best for us, so we can only choose what we feel is best at the time and wait to see where the chips fall.
Should they fall where we didn’t want them, then we have to deal with that as best we can.
At this point in time the choices we’re making are right for us, and only time will tell if we’ve been wise, but my instincts tell me this is the right thing to do, and they’re normally pretty accurate.
:)

Posted in Australia, Beginnings, Change, family, feelings, Insight, life | 2 Comments

Nurture

Posted on January 7, 2012 by anonymum


When people see the above word, their immediate thought is children, or more specifically, babies, but that’s not what I mean here.
I had a conversation with someone recently and there was something said in that conversation which prompted a question in my mind.
Why do we only use this word in relation to babies, or smaller children?
Do they require nurturing? Absolutely they do, yet rarely do we hear anyone suggest other things need nurturing.
Surely a marriage requires nurture?
A marriage is not an inanimate object that just sits there.
It’s a living breathing thing and requires almost as much work as raising a child.
Marriage doesn’t just happen.
It needs to be cared for, tended, loved and appreciated. Time is required to make it flourish, give it rosy cheeks and become healthy.
It is the coming together of 2 people who have been raised differently, think differently and have lived differently so for me, it stands to reason an effort must be made by both parties to ensure their marriage flourishes.
Is this not nurture?
Once that thought occurred to me, there was no quantam leap to realise we must do the same with friends and family.
These things and the people involved also need to be nurtured.
We cannot assume they will always be the same, we should not assume they will always be there, and we must never, ever take them for granted.
I’m sure most people have been guilty of this at some point because of the one thing that has been the downfall of not only many a marriage, but many a friendship and family as well.
Life.
Life has a way of interfering with marriage, family and friendships if we let it.
In our own way we assume the things I speak of will be there when we get back to them, and most of the time they are if they’re strong, but in order to make them strong and endure the beast we call life, they must be nurtured into the rosy cheeked, happy bundle I speak of.
Somehow we all need to make {find?} time for these things, because, to me at least, it’s clear.
These are the things that count.
Marriage, family and friendship require time, effort, hard work, discipline and love, just as children and babies do.
Having said all that, all of the above need tough love now and then too.
If we care enough about someone or something, we’ll take the hard road when we know they need a hard line too.
It’s not all beer and skittles, and sooner or later we have to leave Kansas. Now and then we simply have to harden ourselves for the greater good,yes?
At the end of the day, bottom line is, no more will I see the word nurture and think only of babies, because they’re not the only ones who need it.

Posted in family, Insight, life, love | 2 Comments

Retrospect

Posted on December 31, 2011 by anonymum


New years day has dawned with clear blue skies, chirping birds and a gentle breeze.
I can only hope it’s an omen for the year to come, as 2011 was not kind to us in many ways.
The death of a parent is never easy. It makes no difference that we know it’s going to happen one day, the actual event, expected or not, is still one of the most traumatic experiences we can have.
After we lost my Dad in April this year {so unexpectedly I almost went into shock} it seemed to cloud the rest of the year.
I could almost feel a dark shadow following me around for weeks after, and it was quite an eerie thing to have happen.
It made no difference where I went, what I did, I constantly felt as if there was a shadow behind me.
Do I think it was him? No, I think it was more the result of an argument with a family member while we were in Victoria for the funeral.
It was an argument that came from nowhere, I copped a pasting that was unwarranted and the worst part is it was over someone who {supposedly} meant bugger all to the other person.
Go figure.
The end result of this argument has been the {metaphorical} loss of another family member, so it wasn’t just the physical loss of Dad I needed to deal with, it was the associated crap that came with it.
Perhaps this is where the shadow came from, who knows? All I know is it was there, and has slowly receded over time thank goodness, because I don’t like having anything looking over my shoulder!
Early June bought a development neither myself or Mark saw coming, and it was not easy to deal with. The timing could not have been worse, and it was something well out of our control so we had no choice but to deal with it.
Hind sight tells us it was actually a blessing in disguise, but we didn’t have the luxury of that at the time, so we thought it quite disastrous.
As with most other unexpected events however, we dealt with it, built a bridge and got on with life, because there was another 6 months of the year to traverse, including the very next month of July which would bring a much anticipated visit from Michael and Pam.
We were lucky enough to have them in our amazing country for just on 2 weeks, and we filled the time we had with a whirlwind of fun, food, laughter, meetings, greetings and, at times, tears.
They met most of our family as well which was an added bonus. To do it meant flying from one end of the east coast to the other, but I think all would agree it was well worth the effort.
The 3 events I speak of here essentially shaped our year, and whilst I think the bad out weighed the good, I accept there is nothing we could have done to avoid the bad parts, so there is little point in bemoaning them.
From where I sit we need to move forward, archive the dark parts of 2011 and celebrate the lightness we were lucky enough to have.
To all who come here, I wish you nothing but happiness and good things in 2012.
May your year be filled with prosperity and good health.
I also hope you can deal with anything negative life can throw at you in such a way to minimise any long lasting impact.
We’re only human, I know, however our natural instinct is to survive and we can only do that in the ways that work best for us can’t we?
Happy new year everyone.

Posted in Australia, Beginnings, Change, Death, family, feelings, Home, Hope | 6 Comments

Christmas spirit

Posted on December 23, 2011 by anonymum


Firstly, to any and all who come here, or perhaps lurk, I wish you a Merry Christmas.
Even lurkers need love I guess?
With Christmas Day less than 24 hours away here in Australia, I find, as is usual at this time of year, that my emotions are running a little closer to the surface than normal.
As much as I love Christmas, carols make me teary, I miss my girls more than ever, and this year my thoughts will turn to Dad who I won’t have in my life on Christmas Day for the first time in my 54 years.
This in turn will make me appreciate what this season is really about, and as the actual day dawns my thoughts will then turn to the people I can’t hold and enjoy the day with, be they alive or not, and that in turn will make me grateful for the few family members I will have around me.
My heart will hurt for the people who’s loved ones are overseas serving their country, countries torn apart by war, NZ where they’ve had 2 earthquakes and many after shocks in less than 24 hours, Darwin who are on cyclone alert, nations starving and dying of thirst, and children who will never know the utter joy of Christmas Eve excitement because their country knows nothing other than abject poverty.
All of these things merely reinforce how lucky I am, and how many blessings have been given to me.
As you sit down to what will surely be a feast, look around you at the people you love, give thanks you have them with you, and then please spare a thought for the people I’ve mentioned above, because they don’t have nearly as much as we do.
To my family here and overseas, please know I love you deeply and miss you more than it’s ever possible for me to say.
My favourite Christmas fantasy is to have you all in one place, together around a table moaning with food and drink and resplendent in it’s decorations that reflect both summer and winter seasons.
Merry Christmas to everyone from OrGanised Chaos and the lunatic who runs it.
May your festive season be full of love and family
They’re all you need to enjoy it.

Posted in Australia, Blessed, Christmas, Faith, family, Holidays, Home, Insight, life, love | 2 Comments

Rambling

Posted on December 18, 2011 by anonymum


This post could ramble a little, but bear with me?
Please?
Life is an odd beast.
Someone {something?} has handed each of us an incredible gift, and for no apparent reason.
No, I’m not going to get into the “why are we here crap” because I don’t have that sort of time, however the gift in question raises many thoughts for me, particularly at this time of the year.
As I’ve aged, my priorities have changed, which I believe is a normal happening as one gets older.
Well, it’s what 80 year olds tell me anyway, and I have little reason to disbelieve them.
As time passes, things happen, people die, children grow and mature, grandchildren are born and thus the circle of life keeps turning.
This is indisputable.
When I was younger my priorities were more hectic than they are now, if that makes sense? I hope it does because if not, it’s going to be one hell of a job explaining that statement!
Perhaps we’ll gloss over the past and fast forward to current day. That could be easier.
If I explain what my present priorities are, it may give you an insight in priorities past perhaps?
{beginning to sound a lot like Christmas isn’t it? The ghosts of priorities future could be next, so watch out for that one!!}
Christmas is approaching rapidly, and as I type we’re exactly a week away from the day itself.
We had cause to go shopping yesterday and, naturally, there were people everywhere, kids screaming because they were not only tired, but over it, and parents looking not overly inclined towards peace and goodwill to all men.
Before we started our shopping we decided to have something to eat, and whilst I was waiting for Mark to get his food, I over heard a conversation at the next table, and it went something like this.
Mum “I promised her she could have it”
Dad “But honey, we don’t have the 520.00 it’s going to cost”
Mum “So, what? You want me to tell her she can’t have it because her miserable fucking father won’t do a little extra overtime??”
Dad “I would rather spend the time with her and you than work to give her something that will hold her interest for 10 minutes the same as everything else we buy her. Isn’t it more important that we be together than what we spend?”
Mum “Fine! But when she asks why she didn’t get what she wants I’ll tell her it’s because her father doesn’t want to work harder for her!”
With that he shook his head, sighed and said “Ok, we’ll get it on time payment and then she’ll know we love her”
Am I the only one who struggles with this conversation?
I don’t think so.
Do I understand this mother’s desire to please her daughter?
Absolutely I do.
What I don’t comprehend is her willingness to betray her husband, and her daughter’s father, in order for her to achieve what she wants.
This girl will grow up one day. She’ll leave home, live her own life and not look back.
Will she sit with her mother every single Christmas and be eternally grateful that she ratted out her father to get her what she wanted.
Not a chance in hell.
What many forget is Christmas is about the people in our lives, why we have the season to start with and being grateful for both.
Family first {always} then friends, neighbours, whoever they are.
It’s not about the gifts they get or give or how much they cost, it’s about the thought that goes into it and the pleasure of seeing them open it.
Having said all that, it’s only been in the last 15-20 years I’ve seen it this way, and I put it down to learning what life is really about {or at least, my understanding of what it’s about} realising things are not the most important things in the world {although I’ve never been overly materialistic} and know that for as hard as I’ve done it at times in my life, there are others far worse off than I am.
I’ve never been huge on the biggest and best gift, however I have been guilty of it now and then I’ll admit, just not these days.
I’ll say here what I said one other time.
Look around you on Christmas day, and ask yourself if the people that count in your life would love you less than if you got them something other than a 520.00 gift.
It doesn’t matter how much or how little you have, you can still make a difference to someone else, be they family or a total stranger.
Christmas is about giving, yes, but I don’t recall seeing anywhere that what you give needs to be bigger than the moon.
My Christmas day will go like this.
We’ll wake up at 6.00am when the first phone call comes in {it’s a tradition and story for another time}
Once that’s done, Mark and I will wish each other a Merry Christmas and make tea.
More phone calls {and ribbing that whichever daughter it is wasn’t first this year}
We’ll have brekky, showers and get dressed to go out for lunch with Mel, Steve and Lucas.
Of all our family {which is large but scattered} they will be the only ones we see this year.
Before we do that however, I will say a little prayer that my Dad is enjoying his first Christmas Day with my Mum for 40 years, and hope they’re smiling down on all of us, proud of the legacy they left behind.
This will be my first without either of my parents alive, and whilst that makes me sad, it also forces me to hope that when the day comes my children are to face Christmas Day without their parents, by then their priorities will be as they should be, if they’re not already.
This year part of me will be happy I’m here to speak to the girls, even if I can’t see them, and part of me will be sad because I won’t have Dad {not that I saw him a lot at Christmas, but that’s not the point here}
I will not bemoan what I can’t have, or give, because that’s not what it’s about.
It’s about what I do have, which is a hell of a lot, and I’m grateful for every single part of it.

Posted in Australia, Blessed, Change, Christmas, Death, Faith, family, Insight, life | 1 Comment

A light bulb moment

Posted on December 12, 2011 by anonymum


As we hurtle towards Christmas at a speed that defies warp drive, I find myself increasingly impatient with more things than I care to list.
I’m not ordinarily a Grinch when it comes to the festive season, so this particular mood has me wondering what the hell is wrong.
As mentioned earlier, retailers {including the one who employs me} annoy the bejesus out of me, as does the media, be it printed, visual or audio so I’m aware of that, but there’s more to it and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.
Could it be the non stop, mindless, tinny carols in shopping centres, tacky trees with their cheap and nasty decorations, perhaps the sight of 6 month old babies with Santa hats on in a Nth Queensland summer hot enough to make Satan himself think twice about venturing out?
Hmmm. Could be any and all of the above, but it’s not.
On my home from work yesterday I saw a house with lights and decorations for all to see and that’s when it hit me.
It’s people and how they view Christmas overall.
Riddle me this.
Where, where oh where in the story does it mention baby Jesus had a light globe stuck up his arse, or for that matter Mary, Joseph and the 3 wise men?
The poor donkey had a big enough burden without this degrading act being perpetrated on him too, surely?
In which Christmas carol does it refer to Rudolph with the same affliction, plus I can make the safe bet Frosty the snowman with that amount of heat shoved where the sun doesn’t shine is going to melt quicker than you can blink!
Yep, that’s my problem.
I detest life sized {or any sized} plastic Christmas ornaments, be they of people or anything else, with light bulbs shoved up their butts!
It’s just wrong on so many levels and yet there are so many of them on display to assault my eyes!!!
Let me count the way’s I’d love to get hold of the people who display these abominations and give them a taste of their own medicine!
I’ve been reliably informed it’s known as “yard art” but I can assure you it’s not art.
It’s crap!

Posted in Australia, bizarre, Christmas, Spare me | 1 Comment

Trees, turkeys and tossers

Posted on December 6, 2011 by anonymum


As the silly season approaches with startling speed, like most other years since being a parent, my mind turns to Christmas’s past.
Memories invade my thoughts whether I want them or not, and they seem to do a little Irish jig {with tap shoes} at the most inopportune moments regardless of my efforts to push them to one side.
The end result of this unwanted mental phenomenon is a heightened awareness of all things inane when it comes to the month of December.
Everywhere I go there are decorations in my face, Silent Night in my ears and memories in my head.
Not for nothing is Christmas referred to as the silly season.
People think little of paying an amount which could float the economy of a 3rd world country for presents, artificial trees, turkeys the size of dodo birds and all the claptrap retailers would have you believe must be had in order to celebrate the season.
I think the one thing that bemuses annoys the crap out of me most would be ads whether they’re in newspapers, on TV or sprouting from the radio.
“How can your mother live without a kitchen gadget that will not only prepare dinner for her, but put it in the oven, serve it up and do the dishes for her??”
“Your father simply must have the wrench which will not only change his spark plugs, but go to the store and buy them, then pour him a beer once the job is done!!”
“Little Johnny has just got to have this new gaming console, because let’s be honest, at 1059.61 plus tax, it’s a steal. Why send him out into the yard to play when we can add to his obesity and social integration problems???”
Now if you’re getting the impression they grate on my nerves, the only thing I can say is your instincts are right on target.
*sigh*
My memories of Christmas are a little different, and I’m undecided if that’s because these days it’s all about the money people can make or if they actually were different.
Did we get presents?
Hell yeah, but I’m not convinced they were of the same importance as they would have you believe they are these days.
To me Christmas is about many things, of which presents is not even in the top 3.
I remember Christmas days full of family, friends neighbours and playing in the fresh air as the adults sat in chairs and moaned with being full from a good meal, created by all hands in the house.
From where I sit it’s about family, spending some quality time together, perhaps helping someone less fortunate than yourself, giving the young mother with 4 kids at the check out that extra 2.00 she needs to pay for her groceries, a good meal and taking time to think about why we have the season to start with.
It’s not about having the biggest tree in your lounge, a turkey you struggle to fit into your oven or how much money you spend trying to keep up with not only the people next door, but the Joneses.
Trust me, all of the above are a myth tossers would have you believe because it suits their purpose, and from where I sit if you’re stupid enough to be taken in by them, then I have no words to describe your level of stupidity.
Come Christmas day, take the time to look at the people around you and ask yourself if they would love you less should you not spend 3 months mortgage payments on their present, because if that’s what it’s all about, is it really worth the effort?

Posted in Australia, Christmas, Gifts, Home | 4 Comments

Christmas theme

Posted on December 4, 2011 by anonymum


Every year since I’ve been blogging, I’ve tried to have a different Christmas theme.
Christmas is my favourite time of the year and I don’t have an ounce of Grinch in me no matter how hard people try to find it.
Whilst I may not shout it from the rooftops, I’m well aware of the reason for the season and even though I let myself get caught up in the madness now and then, rarely is thought of why we have this magical time far from my thoughts.
This morning I’ve spend considerable time trawling for a seasonal theme I could use.
Please take note I said “use” as opposed to “like” because what you see displayed now was my 7th attempt to activate a theme I chose.
I’ve installed and deleted 6 others because of broken code and fatal errors, however the old saying of all things happen for a reason rings true here, because I love this one!
I had only to put the widgets in my sidebar and away it went.
Simple, looks good, different to your average theme because of the little Christmas buttons and pretty as well.
This theme will stay until January 1st as all my Christmas themes do, so get used to looking at until then.
If you’re inclined to a seasonal theme there are some blinders out there this year, but be careful of the fatal errors!
Have a fabulous weekend, and don’t forget to comment and tell me how clever I am either!
Nothing like praise and adulation to make a girl feel good!
To any pedantic them whore who may be lurking, I like it just the way it is, colours and all!
:P

Posted in Australia, Blogging, Christmas | 3 Comments

Undisciplined

Posted on November 29, 2011 by anonymum


As I get older I find myself becoming increasingly impatient with undisciplined children.
I have more than one reason for becoming this way, so let me explain.

Beside us we have a mother, daughter, son and daughter in law living.
Both the daughter and son have 3 year old sons, and never in my entire 54 years have I come across louder, or such badly behaved children!
These 2 monsters make more noise and create more trouble than I’ve seen or heard from a group of 10 kids!
As a small example of what they’re like, here is just few things I consider unacceptable lest you think I’m being perhaps a tad unreasonable.

Climbing onto the bonnet of a brand new car, clambering up the windscreen, jumping on the roof 5 or 6 times before sliding down the windscreen and jumping on the bonnet.
Rinse and repeat 2 or 3 times.
Screaming at the top of their lungs for around 10 – 15 minutes at a time because they’re not allowed to have lollies for breakfast.
This can start anywhere between 6.00 and 7.30am, on any given day.
Screaming {and I mean screaming} for anything up to 3 hours in the middle of the night.
N.o.n s.t.o.p. Hardly seem to breath even!
Refusing to use the toilet and instead leaving little piles of poop on the paths.
NFI what they wipe their arse on by the way. The minute I see them start to squat, I’m off inside.

Now before anyone asks, let me tell you what their parents do in response to this behaviour {and I quote}
“Noah (or Seth) that’s not nice. Stop it”
“Noah (or Seth) I asked you not to do that”
“Noah (or Seth) how many times have I said don’t do that?”
{Me: Too many fucking times, so kick his arse!!!! as I walk inside}
All of these are said in such a tone as to suggest they could be asking them if they want peas with their fucking bangers and mash!

Call me old fashioned, but I believe if a child is never taught discipline, they’ll never have discipline.
I rarely hit my girls. When I did, they knew it, but I think I only ever raised a hand to each of them maybe once in their lives, yet every single time I see or hear these monsters next door my bloody palm itches!
Do I think they should beat them? Not at all, but I can’t see where the odd crack on the arse will hurt them either.
People say violence solves nothing, and they’re right, but there’s a huge difference between a kid knowing they’re going to get spanked for unacceptable behaviour and thinking they’re going to be beaten.
Do gooders would have you believe the minute you raise a hand to a child you’ve guaranteed they’ll turn into serial killers and clearly these people follow that train of thought.
These kids, and others like them, are going to get into the real world one day and wonder why noone will keep them in a job, why people are telling them no, and why there’s suddenly rules to follow.
Doubtlessly school will give them some discipline, but let’s be honest, these days teachers have to handle them with kid gloves more than their parents already choose to handle them for fear of legal action or discipline against them, because God forbid you should try and keep them under control!
There are right and wrong ways to raise kids and I appreciate that instructions don’t come with them, but hell, surely parents should use some common sense if nothing else?
*sigh*
A desert island is looking better by the day.

Posted in Australia, Home, Spare me | 3 Comments